Sodium sodium sodium...

Last WI: 221.6/At home WI: 224.4 (yep.)

WEDNESDAY

Ok, so perfect little girl I was Monday? Went out the window last night. It all started out ok. I was on track for breakfast, then I decided to have sushi for lunch. Well, my favorite sushi place near work has a sushi buffet for lunch. Now I just said the biggest curse word for dieters...buffet.... But I figured - hey - it's a SUSHI buffet - how bad can it be? Well, it wasn't horrible and although I did go back for seconds, they were small plates and I didn't fill them up...totally. Either way - that's a lot of sodium. Because of course I dip every cute little piece into soy-sauce and wasabi. So that's what a blame this morning's weight on. It could also be the late afternoon/evening snacks (all 100 pt snacks, but when you have 5 of them it defeats the purpose), or the chicken breast (w/o skin!) mashed potatoes and mac & cheese from KFC on the way home. Or the no exercise - it was an off day remember? Ah...how they all add up. Grrrr..

Oh - and my cute little mantra? Turns out I don't always answer the question correctly. What's more important, KFC or going to bed a bit hungry because your already over in points....I chose KFC. I said, eh, I'm fat. I'll always be fat. Might as well be comfortable (i.e. not hungry). Bad little devil speaking there. So, as to be expected, the cute little mantra was not the magic cure. Long term discipline is the (not so) magic cure. Just have to keep trying I guess.

Today I was ok for breakfast, but not as ok for lunch - I guess I didn't get enough sushi yesterday because I went back today. More sodium... But frankly, there are definitely worse places to eat. I stayed away from the fried rice, and other "dishes" and stuck with sushi rolls. I surely had more than I needed, but for the most part those buggers are only about 1/2 a point each. Now - to finish the day off strong. here's the plan. I'm actually going to work pretty late - at least 8:00 pm. I've got an apple and an orange in my drawer for later when I get munchy. I didn't have my sushi binge lunch until about 1:30 today so I'm definitely not going to be hungry for a while. I'll have my apple/orange. I'll go home around 8:00. I'll get on the treadmill and do my 2+ miles. And I'll go to bed (after chugging copious amounts of water). Let me say that again - I'LL GO TO BED. No late night dinner. I don't need it. And tomorrow is my vowed WI day so we need to mitigate the damages here (fancy lawyer term).

On another sodium related issue. I love salt. I'm totally addicted to it. Whether in the soy sauce form or the plain old grain version, I use a ton of it. I know this is bad as it makes you retain water, and increases risk for high blood pressure, etc. Ok, so I get the first one (and boy did I GET it this morning on the scale) but the second? Not a problem. I have always had very "normal" blood pressure even at my heaviest (not to far from where I am now). And when I'm running, even sporadically, my blood pressure is really low. Not like dangerous low, but healthy low. For example. I've been back on the treadmill for 2 days this week. Yesterday I went to give blood (to get them to stop calling me, I'm 0- and they will not leave me alone when I due). The nurse took my blood pressure and frankly couldn't hold back her surprise when she told me it was 106/66. Now that's low, even for me.

So, although I definitely want to lose weight and will continue, probably forever, to work on it, I think I'm a healthy overweight person. I can run 2 miles, sometimes as much as 4 or 5 and my blood pressure is really low. Is that so bad? If it weren't for image issues, I really don't think I'd be trying to lose weight so bad. Now I'm not saying I couldn't be healthier, I could. But I'm not so bad off, really.

I read this article a few days ago. Although it's very depressing in the sense that it suggests those of us will never be "comfortably" thin, it does imply that over-weight people can be healthy. Of course, it just makes me curse all those "naturally thin" people all the more...

Anyway - I know I'll always battle this. I may never get back down to goal weight. But I also know the day I stop battling will be the first day on my way to 300 lbs. I will always gain if I don't fight it. I love food and self indulgence too much.

So, on with the fight - off to battle...