Screw You Scale

Last WI: 224.8/Morning WI: 224.8

Thursday.

Ok. Now I'm just pissed. And hurt and depressed. What the hell. So yesterday I didn't follow my plan 100%, but enough not to deserve this. I ended up staying at work till 7:30. Went home - chugged like a million ounces of water, and went to bed. I was asleep before 11:00. No I didn't hit the treadmill, but NO I didn't eat dinner either. I only started to feel the tiniest bit hungry about 8:30 pm and said - nope. I will not eat again today. I've probably hit my points with that evil sushi buffet, and I need to see a good number on the scale tomorrow. So I went to bed, having last eating about 2:00 pm.

This morning (after getting up no less than 3 times last night to pee - thanks million ounces of water) I jumped on the scale and saw 224.8. What? 3.2 lb gain? Are you freaking kidding me? This is the number I've vowed to record on all my stupid websites and databases? Ok. So I just don't get it. No, I wasn't perfect this week, but I did TRY. More than I've done in over a month. I ran 2 times (again more than over a month). I tracked everything I ate on WW e-tools - even when I went over. And shit - I didn't eat for over 17 hours before WI! WTF? Now when I get sick and don't eat for 17 hours the scale plummets (then rebounds once I start eating). But hell, I didn't even care if it was a "fake" number this morning, so long as it wasn't a 3.2 lb gain! I'm so mad and sad and disappointed and confused.

I feel like the scale just laughs at me as it climbs to nearly new heights. Now my stupid ticker at the top looks like I just started this journey. Oh boy do I wish I had just started this journey. Every day this week the scale creeped up, laughing the whole way....222, ha ha, 223, ha ha ha, 224, ha ha ha ha. Oh - you don't like 224.8? No I didn't, so what did I do - brushed my teeth and then re-hopped. HA HA HA - 225.4. Fine. I'll take 224.8. WTF. Maybe my scale's messed up? That would be too much to hope for.

I've said it a million ways, and I'll say it again. I don't get it. I just don't get it. I didn't expect this fabulous loss - I mean come on, I wasn't perfect. But I didn't expect a "fabulous" gain either.

So - the question remains. What am I going to do about it. Well, a big part of me wants to say FUCK YOU SCALE and just eat whatever I want. Gorge on pizza hut and McDonalds. Say so what if I'm 300 lbs next year. So what.

But I know that won't make me happy either. As I noted yesterday, I am over weight, but I'm not horribly unhealthy. At 300 lbs I'd be horribly unhealthy.

So, I'll try again. I had my stupid 3 pt weight watcher muffin for breakfast. I've packed some snacks (including that apple and orange I so proudly DIDN'T eat yesterday). And I'll try to get through another day. Sad, disappointed and depressed. But I'll get through.

I'll count my blessings, and be happy for a life that, with the exception of weight struggles, is pretty darn good - good job, good family, good man. Stop complaining and keep trying.

Sadly. Disappointedly. We'll leave it at that. Oh - and no sushi buffet...for a long while.