Feels Good

Official WI: 243.2
Morning WI: 237.8

Yesterday was good. I ate exactly what was allowed in my new "points range". Today I'm doing well so far. I've logged everything into weight watchers site and plan to keep up with it all week. I tried a new meeting last night that I won't be going back to, which is too bad because it's about 2 miles from my house. I just didn't like the vibe at all or the leader. There were only about 10 people there and I was the youngest by about 20 years. That would be ok, but the leader fancied herself a comedian but wasn't. She tried to get group participating and what she got was a lot of joking commentary. Like, when she asked what do you do when you need to find the motivation to continue- the response was: go eat a big meal then you'll feel really guilty. Um, no?

It almost felt like the people there weren't taking it seriously, which may have had to do a lot with the leader's style. Overall, it's just not for me.

That's ok, though because there is a WW center about 8 miles further from my house that has a lot of meetings to choose from, including a variety of leaders. I think I'm going to try the Thursday night at 7:00 meeting next week with the Friday morning at 8:30 being my fall back if I have to work late. I definitely need to go to meetings, I just need to find one that fits with me, my needs and my personality.

Busy means Bad

Unknown...going to official WI tonight or tomorrow.

My life has been CRAZY this last month or two. So busy. So tiring. So much.

Our party was great. We had lots of people over and lots of fun. After that, though, my life switched to high gear. Every major election cycle, I volunteer for this organization that recruits and dispatches hundreds of volunteers in Georgia. This year was our biggest yet with over 600 volunteers on the ground. So I've been crazy busy this last week. I didn't sleep much at all until Tuesday night, when I slept for 16 hours. Yes 16 hours. I went to bed at midnight on Tuesday (already having taken Wednesday off) and didn't get out of bed until 4:00 pm on Wednesday. And I still slept a full 8 hours last night as well. I haven't slept that much ever, not being sick. Just shows how exhausted I was from the week before. I literally worked 80 hours in 6 days. Exhausting.

So now I'm back to normal life and back to the effort of weight loss. After much personal debate, I've decided to go back to Weight Watchers. It's the only thing that's ever worked for me, so I'm going to try again. I haven't decided which meeting I'm going to go to, but I have decided not to go to the one at my work. As convenient as it is, I'm not a huge fan of the leader, and for me, the weight watchers journey has always been a relatively private thing. I don't feel as comfortable going to a big meeting at my office, however convenient it is. Odd, yes. But we have to do what works, right?

So there's a meeting near my house on Thursday nights at 6:30. The trouble is getting there by 6:30 will not always be easy. I'm going to try to go today and check it out. I don't know how I'll feel about it, but it's worth a try. There's lots of other choices, however, if that one doesn't work out.

So don't be surprised to see a crazy high number tomorrow. I've hit 240, which is sick, but that's why I'm doing this. I didn't get on the scale this morning, frankly because I forgot, but I'm sure it's somewhere near 240. Which means tonight at an official weigh in with clothes after eating during the day, I'll probably see 245 or so. The numbers are so high now they're almost meaningless. Which is even more scary.

I've got to do something about this now, or it will only get worse.

Another thing may be a factor in my weight loss attempt this time, but I don't know in what way. I just started back on the birth control pill. For most of my adult life I've been on Depo Provera - the shot - that has been shown to cause weight gain. I've always felt like I couldn't blame my weight gain on that, though because when I really tried, and did the right things, I could still lose weight. That said, however, I'm hoping that the transition to traditional pill birth control might make things easier. I'm not holding my breath, though - I don't know that it will make a measurable difference. But it is one thing to think about as I just started the pill on Sunday. We'll see what happens.

But - I'm going to try to keep blogging as I do this. Holiday seasons are the toughest, so I know I need to start now rather than wait until January when I'm at 260 or worse.

Off to a new start!

Preparing for a PARTY

235.0 (better, but so scary that that's "better"!)

This weekend was crazy busy but nice. On Saturday I worked at the local fair with Erik. He's a Kiwani's member and the put on the fair every year so the need volunteers to help sell tickets. It was fun to see all the people come out for it. I always loved the fair as a kid, so I think I'll always like it. I did ok on the fair food, only succumbing to one hotdog and some boiled peanuts. Erik of course had the elephant ears and a deep fried milky way (I did taste each but tried to limit my "sharing").

Saturday after the fair, we spent WAY too much money on a brand new living room set. Erik had an old couch and chair from about 10 years ago and I had a coffee table and end tables I got out of law school used. So we ended up getting a sectional sofa with nice coffee and end tables. All to be delivered on Thursday! So today's mission is to find a place/person to give our old stuff too. Surprisingly few non-profits will pick up furniture and we don't have a truck to haul it off in. I posted on Freecycle, though so hopefully someone will want it.

It all has to go by Saturday because we're having a party! I'm so excited. Since the wedding Erik, Holly & I have been eager to have another get together. We have a ton of liquor and wine left over from the wedding and we got a kegerator for a wedding present (funny I know - we registered for it on a whim and Holly got a bunch of people to chip in to get it for us!). So we're getting a keg, grilling out burgers and dogs and drinking up the remaining liquor and wine (hopefully). Of course there will be poker, football and wii going on as well! AND we're going to try out our fire pit for the first time.

Have I mentioned I love living in the south - it's still 70-80 out every day these days. As long as it doesn't rain we should be able to have a good indoor/outdoor party!

So my other mission today was to find a place to fill our CO2 tank that came with the kegerator. I had NO idea where to do that. After some googling, I found a place called Airgas about 10 miles from home that will swap mine for theirs. I'll head out there probably Wednesday morning to do that. HOpefully it will work. What an odd thing to track down - CO2. Oh well - our kegerator is cool and SO worth it.

So Sunday consisted of church, then errands. We made 3 drops at goodwill of old stuff that's been collecting in the garage, which REALLY made a difference in how the garage looks. Then Erik set up the kegerator, I went shopping for party stuff, and returned a bunch of wedding stuff that was broken/unwanted. Very productive day but Exhausting!

Oh well, lots going on. I did not hit the treadmill as planned this weekend and though I wish I had, I did get a good bit of exercise running around all weekend. And we didn't really think about food much so that kept me from over-eating. Here's to the scale continuing to go down!

One Day at a time

235.8 (better)

Ok, so one day down back on the wagon and it feels good. I logged everything yesterday, for the first time in, oh, say 6 months! And i went over a bit. I'm supposed to eat like 1770 max calories and I had 1880. But I burned more than double my target calories so I call it a wash. Not bad for day one. Need to still get things lower, but it's a start and the scale rewarded me with a marginally less depressing number this morning. (Still absurd, however).

So yesterday I hit our firm gym at lunch - a first. I've never done a lunch work out here, but I really liked it. It's a small but really well equiped gym with a great locker room - meaning they have lockers with keys they provide you (don't have to bring your own lock), they provide towel service, the showers have shampoo, conditioner and soap already in them, and the provide hair dryers, flat irons, curling irons, hairspray, lotion, mouthwash, etc. Very nice. I got in and out, with a shower yesterday in just over an hour including 35 mins on the treadmill. I plan to do a little bit more today. If I could get this into a habit, I'd really see some results I think. And, it keeps me from spending too much on going out to lunch with Holly every day.

So, things are back on track. The only negative in my life right now is work. I have a lot of things to do but simply cannot get motivated to do them. I spend way too much time on facebook and myspace and blogs at work. REally bad. Particularly in this market when I'm lucky to have such a great job. Need to improve on that.

Otherwise, doing well! Amazing how a day on track can really make you feel better about life.

Frustration

237.2 Yes. that is not a typo.

I didn't want to write it. I didn't want to see it and I don't want to admit it. After about 4 days off the scales I braved it this morning and the above was my reward. Or punishment rather. Really? Really? I'm in awe and amazement. I cannot believe how absurdly easy it is to gain weight. And no, I haven't been exactly counting calories, but I have been concious of my eating. You know how some days/weeks/ months you just don't care so don't worry about it and don't think about it. I'm not even there, yet the scale keeps climbing higher and higher.

Today a funny situation has brought it all into perspective. I was updating my quicken this morning, looking at recent charges on my amex and found a shockingly wrong charge. Earlier this week, in a moment of weakness, I was craving Taco Bell. So I went there and spent $7.27. If you know taco bell at all you know $7.27 buys a ridiculous amount of food. So yes, I binged. But I paid for it. Multiple times it seems. Today when I saw that charge, I was like - yes, that's right. But the very next charge was for Taco Bell, same day for $72.27. Um. NO. I binged, but I did not eat $72 dollars worth of tacos and chalupas. Now if Amex were to put me on a scale they may beg to differ.

So anyway, I called and disputed the charge and thankfully had the receipt for the proper charge, which they said would make things easier. The woman laughed when I told her there was no way I was eating $72 dollars worth of taco bell. But in reality - this is a good crazy sign. I mean no, I didn't go that overboard, but yes I have gone overboard. And it's time to get it in check.

I've not been quite as bad in the exercise department. I hit the gym on Friday and my own treadmill on Saturday and WILL be going today. But none of the exercises have been as long as I used to be able to go, so not burning as many calories. I know - it will take time. But at least I'm going. That's the first step.

Next is to be HONEST with what I'm putting in my mouth. I said I've been conscious of what I'm eating, but we all know that when we 'guesstimate' we often get it wrong - very wrong. So, starting today I'm back on sparkpeople, logging my calories. I had hoped to be under 220 by Oct. 1. Obviously that failed. New goal - back to 225 by Sept. 1. Ambitious goal, but there it is.

The other thing I've been thinking about (in a self pitious way) is how easy it is for some people to simply maintain their weight. I cannot. If I'm not trying I'm gaining. My husband has been a perfectly healthy 165 since the day I met him. He goes up or down a few pounds depending on the time of year (holidays vs. summertime) but generally there he is. he fits in the jeans he wore 15 years ago. Absurd. Why is it so easy for him?

I know genetics has a lot to do with it along with habits and cravings. But DAMN it sucks.

Oh well, I am who I am and have to deal with my body, my habits, and my cravings. It's just so hard sometimes.

Passive Agressive Much?

234.0 (oops.)

So, this morning a funny thing happened when I got to work. I had been working on a pleading that needed to be filed today, and on my desk my federal rules book was open in the center of my desk. When I got in on top of the open rule book was a mailing from Lane Bryant that had a coupon in it. It's one of these folded coupon fliers you get in the mail if you're on their mailing list. I thought it odd that it just arrived on my desk, they don't have my home address, certainly not my work address, so it couldn't have come to me. I flipped it over, and the name and address had been blacked out with sharpie then whited out over that. Odd.

So, somebody decided I likely shopped at lane bryant, which isn't a bad assumption, I'm actually a size 16, which is right on the border, so generally I don't, but it's not inconceivable. But the really odd thing is that this someone was embarrassed enough that the flier was sent to them to black out their name AND not put a note on it saying who it was from.

Now, with any other coupon, gift card, etc., if you're going to give it to someone who you think might use it, you'd typically want to get credit for your nice gesture. Say I don't shop at IKEA but I know my colleague does, and I get a coupon, I would give it to them overtly.

But because it's Lane Bryant - a "big" girl store, suddenly you don't want me to know? I'm more offended about that than the fact that this somebody though I was big enough to shop there - as I said, I'm close. Very passive aggressive if you ask me. Then I get to thinking, maybe it's not a generous thing where the giver is just embarrassed. Maybe it's a veiled insult. Maybe this somebody is saying "hey we know your fat, and by the way you need better clothes". Maybe? Seeing how they don't want to reveal their name.

So curiosity got the best of me. I scrapped off the white out with my fingernail and then wet the paper a bit to smudge the sharpie black out to reveal the name....

My secretary.

Odd. I don't know how to take this. I don't have the best relationship with my secretary. We don't argue but I think she's not so good at her job and have actually considered asking to be reassigned. I've never directly called her out, but my frustration is clear when she messes something up. So this could go either way. Either she got it, and was trying to be nice but was embarrassed that she got it, or she's being VERY passive aggressively insulting.

My friend who is also a secretary here says I should email her a note that just says "Hey - thanks for the coupon, but I don't shop there. Let me know if there's someone else you know that might be able to use it." Sort of passive aggressive back. My thought is to just let it go.

Could use some input on this one. I actually think it's pretty hilarious, myself.

Ear Infection, and Vegas!

233.2

Yesterday morning sucked. Monday night as I was going to bed, my right ear was feeling clogged a bit. I have this problem occasionally with wax build up (gross I know) mostly because I sleep with ear plugs every night. So anyway, I decided to do the "ear wax removal" treatment. It's basically these drops you put in your ear that break up the wax. You keep your head tilted for a couple minutes then let it drain out. It worked fine, and then I went to bed feeling better.

Until 6:00 am.

When I woke up with that ear KILLING me. Serious sharp pains. Really odd. I tried to go back to bed and couldn't. Finally I got up and headed to my doctor sure that I had an ear infection. I got a prescription for antibiotics then went back to bed. I took an old Tylenol w/codine I had from my Lasik surgery and slept it off. When I woke up a few hours later, my ear didn't hurt anymore, but I'd already called in sick, so decided to work the rest of the day from home. It was nice, I got a good bit done, and also caught up on my TiVo'd shows.

So I didn't get a workout in yesterday despite not having a good excuse to avoid it. But today I WILL. I have my gym bag, including socks! I'm heading there right after work. Which is pretty crucial since I fly out to Vegas tomorrow and won't have another opportunity to hit the gym.

Yes, I could use the gym at the hotel, but in Vegas they actually charge you to use their gym, and lets be honest, am I going to work out in Vegas? Nope. The best I can hope for is to minimize the over-indulgence food/alcohol wise. So that will be my goal. Try to avoid the buffets, if I do go to a buffet (hey - that's usually what they're willing to comp you on) I'll load up on lots of veggies, and I'll limit my alcohol. That's the plan.

The exciting thing is that Erik is already out there and played a poker tournament last night that he won, to the tune of $1400 profit. Very nice. So we have some gambling money now and might, shocker of shockers, come home up, or at least not down. That would be a first. :-)

So my moderation thing is going ok. No, I've not seen a loss on the scale yet, but I've stopped the gaining. I made good choices yesterday and I'm going to the gym today. Ideally when I get back from Vegas I'll be right where I am now. That would be a success, for sure.

I watched the Biggest Loser last night (don't worry no spoilers) and I love that show. I love how it makes me feel motivated. It makes me commiserate with others who are dealing with weight loss and how hard it is. And it makes me realize how hard I'm NOT working - I mean Bob and Jillian KILL those people during their work outs. Makes me want to get out there any try - which is what I will do this evening!

No Socks!

233.2 (weekend weight - as usual)

I actually had really nice weekend. Friday night we had the boys sleepover. It was fine, but I know I don't want to have twins! Daniels two friends were 5 year old boy twins, and although very sweet considering, they were a handful! Erik and I just shook our head so many times this weekend. Its such a change for us to have more than one in the house. When it's just Daniel, he's usually hanging out with us or playing x-box with his dad or watching a cartoon on TV. When it's the 3 of them it's LOUD crazy screaming children. I'm sure this is normal in houses with more than one child, but we've been spoiled. They are good kids though, so although it was different, it wasn't all that bad.

It also helped that I dipped out Friday night and played poker with friends, leaving Erik to put the 3 of them to bed.

Saturday we went to a parade just down the street from our house for our local "founder's day" celebration. It was nice and the kids got lots of candy. Saturday afternoon and evening was dedicated to football. Boy did it suck! FSU played HORRIBLY against Wake Forest. I was so disappointed. This was the first televised game they've had and it was miserable. Our two new quarterbacks threw a combined 5 interceptions! FIVE. So bad. So that sucked.

Sunday was church, nap, TV, etc. It was Erik's birthday but since he had to leave town today he was running around a lot and we only celebrated a bit at the end of the night.

Today Erik leaves for Vegas for a week long seminar. I fly out on Thursday to meet him and come home on Monday. I'm SO looking forward to this. I love Vegas and we go out usually once a year, usually in June. We haven't made it out this year due to the wedding, but I'm glad we still get to go. We're staying at Bally's which is right across the street from Bellagio - my favorite hotel just because of the fountains out front. I'm very excited.

So today I had GREAT plans to hit the gym after work. I packed my bag and everything. Then I got here and was getting the bag out of the car and realized I forgot my socks. GRRRR. Now I can do weight training maybe without socks, but I definitely should not hit the treadmill without socks. That's the fastest way to a blister that would keep me off it for a week or more. So I'm mad at myself because I know I'm not motivated enough to work out at home, so I need this "at work" trip to keep me going.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day. I'll hit it then for sure.

Oh and by the way? Thank you notes suck. I've been dreading and procrastinating for weeks now, and it's getting bad. I need to get them out this week or it just looks really bad. I've only got about 35 or 40 to do - way less than the invitations I had to do - but I'm just dragging my feet for some reason. I will knock out at least half of them today. I swear!

Life as a "step-mom"

So, getting married 2 weeks ago made me more than a wife. I'm also now a Step Mom to Erik's 5 year old son. He was married before and had a child with her. Now she lives in the next town over, and they share custody. He gets Daniel every other weekend and every Wednesday. It's been this way since I met him so its nothing new. But the "title" is new. I was always just "Cindy". Now I'm Stepmom Cindy. Odd.

About 2 months ago I had a conversation with Daniel about it and said something to the effect of, you know when we get married, I'm going to be your "stepmom" but you can still call me Cindy. He said, no I'll call you "mom". I think it was just a spontaneous thing he said, but wasn't what I was going for. His mom is very cool in many respects and has never made me feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in his life. That said, he is her world, and I do NOT feel like she would welcome him calling me mom. I don't need that and don't have any desire to cause strife in his or her life. So we'll see - so far, he hasn't called me anything but Cindy but we'll see.

He's too cute, by the way, here's a couple pictures from our wedding:

In the first one he has one of the chair sashes on his head, in the second one he had to take off his shirt because someone spilled beer on it, so he put the vest back on anyway. So funny.

Anyway, tonight we are having our first "sleepover". Erik is picking up Daniel and two of his friends to spend the night. I think it's going to be fun, but it's a first for us, so I think its sweet. Tomorrow our town is having a parade for "founders day" so we're going to take the boys there. I'm sure by the time that's over, I'll be done being a step mom and be glad to ship the extra two 5 year olds off. :-)

It's weird being a mom even if it's only a "step" mom.

First Run a Success

232.4 (up, but am sore so I'll blame it on that).

I did it. I got back to the gym. I had to do all the stuff you do at a new gym - figure out where the lockers where, how the towel service worked, where everything is located. But, I did all that and then I got on the treadmill. And Ran. I ended up doing week 4 of the C25K program. Essentially I did a 5 minute warm-up walk, ran 1/4 mile, walked 1/8 mile, ran 1/2 mile, walked 1/4 mile, ran 1/4 mile, walked 1/8 mile, ran 1/2 mile, walked 1/2 mile. Ultimately I ended a little over 2.5 miles, in about 33:00 minutes. Not bad. I burned about 400 calories, and am a little sore today but all that was to be expected.

I didn't hit the weights like I'd hoped. I'm always bad about motivation for weight training. But I didn't beat myself up about it because I did the most important thing - started again. So today I'm going back. I packed my gym bag, brought it to my office, and it's sitting in the corner of the room looking at me.

Last night I started thinking about things - I felt good that I'd ran again, but I was beating myself up for not eating right or drinking enough water that day. Then I realized that I can take this one step at a time. Always in my life when I decide to do something I do it 200%. I mean I go overboard and try to do it al at once. And I'm usually sucessful - for a time at least - until I burn out. This time I want to be ok with taking it slow.

I decided last night that today I'd work on eating better and drinking more water, with a goal of doing a little better each day. And sticking to the gym. I am going a little crazy in that department with plans to go every work day. I don't have to go for long, but I want to make myself go every night before I go home. I rarely have evening commitments that require me to be home at a particular time, so it shouldn't be a problem most of the time. Also, part of the reason I haven't been good about exercising on my own treadmill is that by the time I get home, I'm starving, and want to eat dinner. That's usually about 8:00 at night and I by the time I'm "digested" enough to feel comfortable exercising, it's bed time.

So this is a good solution. I work out right after work then I can go home and have dinner without guilt. And go to bed without guilt. I'll use my treadmill on the weekends, so it's not all a waste. That's the plan. Day 1 in the books. I'm going to shoot for getting under 230 by the end of the month. That should be really doable, but I'm going to set small goals this time around, and meet every one of them.

The Gym

231.6

Well, I did it. I re-signed up for the gym. Gym membership is a funny thing for me. I've always had one up until March of this year. I started being really good about exercise in law school when I first started weight watchers, and have always had a gym membership since. But when Erik and I bought a house and moved a town away from where my current membership was, I just let it lapse. I had gotten a treadmill from my dad and had built up my other exercise equipment for the house (weight bench, yoga stuff, jump rope, weights, balls etc.) such that I felt it was a waste of money to have a gym membership. But now I realize that all the equipment in the world is useless if you don't use it. Duh right?

Somehow paying for a membership is motivation in itself. And I'm fortunate that my firm has a gym in one of our two buildings that we can be a member of for only $42/month with no sign up fee. Not bad at all, so I did it. Yesterday I went in and signed up. And today I brought my gym bag and will be heading out there in a few minutes. I have to do this. I can't let everything go now just because I'm married. That is no excuse. No, I don't have to go "find a man" anymore, but I do have to like myself. And I always like myself better when I'm exercising, feeling healthy, and losing, rather than gaining, weight. So, back at it.

I've printed out the couch to 5K program and I'm going to see how I do tonight to gauge what week to start on. Before the wedding I was comfortably running 2-3 miles, but I know that stamina is gone and I'll have to build it up again. That's ok though. I'm going to set mini-goals, but there's no deadline here. This is my LIFE now. I need to be a healthy person. For myself, for my husband, and for the kids I plan to have not too long from now. Besides, trying to get pregnant after 30 will have it's own challenges, I don't need to add "excessively obese" to the list. I don't believe I'll ever be "skinny" again, but I can keep things status quo - or at least status quo from before the wedding (meaning drop ~10 lbs). I can do that, and I will do that. Starting today!

Boy I feel like a broken record ,and I'm sure it's no fun to read the same entry of 'back at it today, I swear' that I seem to write every month. But, again, this blog is for me. It's really more of a journal. I need to get down how I feel, what I'm thinking, before I have any hope to follow through. I'd love to have a few readers, and a couple comments now and then, but really I need this for me. So unfortunately that appears to mean a lot of repeat material. Sorry bout that.

So tonight at the gym - the plan is to do at least 20, hopefully 30 or more minutes on the treadmill then do some basic weight training. Get things started right, right?

2 Weeks Married

230.0 (believe me, that's actually good).

Well today I'm 2 weeks married. And I still like it. :-) That's good, right? We're settling back into our life, and nothing seems to different except I'm dealing with a lot of name change BS right now. Very frustrating. I'm hating it and hating it more that Erik doesn't have to deal with it. Boo. Oh well, it should all be a one time thing, at least. When I got my new driver's license, they asked me if I wanted to renew for 5 or 10 years (a cool option Georgia has) and I said, 10 for sure - I'm not planning on moving or changing my name again! Now I'll probably move sometime in the future, but not for a very long time. Ideally, not until I'm too old to climb the stairs to our master bedroom. We'll see though. I really do love our house, though.

As for my weigh in this morning. I've not posted weight in a long time here, mostly because I was disappointed I wasn't able to lose a lot before the wedding, and it just sucks being up, right? But then, I remember, that's the value of this semi-annonomous forum. Post the embarrasing stuff, maybe it'll keep you accountable. So there it is, the scary number of 230.0. But the good news is it was 231.6 the day after I got home from the honeymoon. So it's going in the right direction. I'd love to get down to about 220 - about where I was a month or so before the wedding. That is still 50lbs too heavy, but I'll feel more in control. then I can work from there.

So, I'm back to work, back to bloggin, and hopefully back to trying to minimize my food intake and maximize my calorie burn. Here we go!

Married!

Ok, so it's been forever and a day since I posted. I know. But you know what. Getting married is a LOT OF WORK. I mean wow. But I was SOOOOO great. I don't have the words to describe how wonderful it was, how perfect everything went, and how great everyone was to us. So here I am. A Mrs. :-)

And now, I have to go back to life. Back to fighting the battle we all fight our entire life. To be healthy. It's tougher for some than for others. I didn't reach all my goals I set for my wedding day. But I felt beautiful. And everyone said I was beautiful. And even if they only said it because they were supposed to, it still felt really really good.

We had a great honeymoon in the carribean. We got back on Monday. Today is my first day back at work. Yesterday I spent the majority of the day in the Social Security office and the Driver's License office, but it was ok, because I'm just so happy to be married.

I have a lot of thank you cards to write, but besides that, and putting away a few remaining gifts, wedding stuff is over. Now we're back to life. No "dress" to fit into, no "deadline" just life. A life of trying to be fit. So where do we find the motivation?

I dont' know, but I'm actually pretty upbeat about it. i had a very indulgent honeymoon and of course the scale is up now that I'm back. But I'm not sweating it, I'm not complacent about it, but I'm ok with it. Because I'm motivated to get back into exercising. I'm actually planning to hit the treadmill tonight. It's been inactive for a while now, so I think it needs a work out. I know I do.

So, I'm back. Hopefully regularly and for good. I'm ready to take on this new chapter as Mrs.

Busy - Focusing is hard

FRIDAY

Well, as is the case of late, I've been very busy with work, boot camp, and wedding planning. And the weight loss progress has stopped. I'm a bit frustrated as I'm running out of time. We're 37 days away. I've been good on the boot camp front, but not good on the food front. I'm kinda peeved at myself too. But my problem is when I'm stressed I eat. And life is stressful right now. I had a very frustrating day yesterday with a paralegal at the office that simply isn't doing her job. So when I went out with Erik I felt entitled to have a beer or 4. It was a nice release, but an unnecessary weekday drinking binge.

Oh well - the wedding is coming - ready or not. And I think I'm ready other than weight-wise. I've got lots of appointments coming up to finalize things, the scariest of which is the dress fitting. I'm trying to put it off as long as possible, but it's coming too - ready or not.

I don't really have much else to say - this post is really a same ol same ol type of post. Gee - I'm not losing weight - gee I'm eating too much - gee maybe that's why I'm not losing weight. No real epiphanies there.

Wow time FLIES

THURSDAY

Oh my gosh time flies. I'm so crazy scared of this wedding! It's now 44 days away. Yes, little 44 days. Under 50 but still more than a month, thank god! It's so sneaking up on me!

Well, life's been busy as you can imagine. I've got lots of wedding stuff on the calendar. I'm meeting with the resort this weekend to finalize the menu details, cake stuff, timeing, etc. Yesterday I went and looked at "chair covers" and linens. Do not ASK me what I'm paying for chair covers and linens. OMG. Ridiculous. And trust me - I got the "basic" ones! It's just when you have a semi-large wedding (~145) and have to cover chairs for both the ceremony AND the reception, it gets expensive. Oh - and of course my site does not have ivory linens, so I'm stuck renting those too - or having them in white and clash with my dress and everything else. booo.

Oh well, things are getting done, albeit slowly. I'm excited and my weekends are filling up with to do's but boy it's getting close.

As for weight loss/work out, I'm a bit frustrated. I jumped back into Boot Camp full force. I've been every day. This is the end of week 2. I saw a good 4 lb loss the first week, but have really stagnated this week. Now I know there are several factors that could be in play here. I've been VERY sore this week so it could be water retention. I've been good but not "great" with food. But sheesh! I'm burning 600+ calories every morning! You'd think that'd add up to something.

Oh well - still pluggin along. I know the results will come. I won't be a "skinny minny" for my wedding, but as I've said before, if I lose some weight and feel fit, that's what matters. I just want to feel "good" about myself, even if I don't feel "perfect".

And work has gotten good too. I'm on two primary cases, with a few others sort of dormant. These two are keeping me busy though. I'm pretty much the primary associate on both, so I have a lot of responsibility and client contact which is exactly what I need to feel motivated and appreicated. If only I could get my butt into work earlier. With the boot camp I've been bad about getting to bed ontime so I've been "napping" when I get home at 6:30 for a bit which gets me into work late (obviously). I am staying later to make up for it, but if I could just rearrange the scheduling and be asleep by 10:00 it would all work easier. I'm just such a night owl and even with good intentions every night, I can't seem to fall asleep until around midnight. Frustrating.

Oh well - boot camp too will be over in 44 days. Hopefully then (after the honeymoon at least) I can get back to normal work life. Hopefully no one really is bothered by it in the meantime!

That's about it. Sorry for the lack of posting. I'd like to keep a good journal of this exciting time, but it's hard. I'm going to try harder to get on more often!

First Test

Wednesday

Well, today is my first test of my new commitment. We didn't have a boot camp work out today (we get the first and third Wednesday off). So I have to do my own work out tonight. I'm ready. I have no plans to go out anywhere. I'm going to hit the treadmill and possibly add some jump roping in with my cool calorie counting jump rope. Then I need to do some strength work which I might do on the Wii Fit since I haven't been on there in a while. I'm ready.

I do need to do some grocery shopping, as I'm down to very few easy "mini meals" like we're supposed to do on this program. I usually take some fruit, yogurt, nuts, hard boiled egg, etc. to work for my mid day snacks but I'm out! I'll try to go tonight. If I don't make it, it'll be this weekend before I can go. We'll see how that goes.

Other than that, things are going well. I'm looking forward to this weekend. I've got some plans with friends that should be a lot of fun. I've got a LOT of work to do before then though - so on that note - back to work!

54 days - Day 2 Bootcamp Revisited

TUESDAY

Things are going well. I'm totally back on track and committed to my final countdown till the wedding. Unfortunately I did some damage on my last minute binging before this week, but nothing that cannot be remedied over the next 2 months, I feel sure. I'm ready to see results!

Today was day 2 of my return to boot camp and boy 3 weeks of has killed me. I didn't realize what good shape I'd gotten into, but it's kicking my butt again. I'm super sore. Course that is exasperated by the fact that I waterskiied last weekend for the first time in YEARS. It was so fun, but SOOO exhausting. See me kicking butt:

Very fun. It was gorgeous out on the lake in MO where my father just moved. I really had a relaxing (if indulgent) 4th weekend - see me and Erik drinking beer in front of the campfire:

But now we're in full assault mode! Perfect eater, perfect exerciser, non-alcohol drinker. I'm READY. It's crunch time and I'm ready to feel the burn!

Here's to 54 more days of good food and good exercise!

60 days. (5 days till crunch time!)

WEDNESDAY

So, I'm actually really excited about Monday. Odd, because this is a holiday weekend. I'm flying out tomorrow evening with Erik to see my family, my dad's new home, my brother & his kids and wife, and of course my mom. But I'm looking forward to Monday - the day after we get back. Why?

Because I start back at Boot camp.

And I REALLY start my countdown to the wedding.

Why can't I start now, you ask? Did you read the paragraph above about family gathering this weekend? It will be tremendous fun, but I have absolutely ZERO will power around my family. We eat. That's what we do. There's always food, and it's always good.

The one saving grace I should have is that my dad just moved to a place right on the Lake of the Ozarks, and has a boat we can waterski behind. I was a killer waterskiier when I was a kid (with some scars to prove it). I skiied about 5 years ago here in GA and maybe once since, but haven't really gotten to do it much as an adult. I know I'm going to suck. But I'm confident I will be able to get UP. More than my brother can do, apparently. :-) I determined to show him up.

So that'll be some exercise. Hopefully more swimming will be done as well so I can burn some of the bajillion calories I will be consuming this weekend.

Then Monday?

DUM DUM DUM

It's official wedding crunch time! I'm back to boot camp at 5:00 am every morning. Back to writing down EVERYTHING I eat. Back to eating Body for Life-style. And, with the exciting exception of our bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Savannah - I'm back to NO ALCOHOL. Zip. Zero. I mean, I can go 8 weeks without it, right? Especially since I'll get a no-regrets exception in Savannah. I can DO this.

I got my dress last Friday. I was actually a little disappointed. I still LOVE the dress. But since I've stopped the boot camp, I've not been feeling so hot about myself, and the pounds are creeping back on. The dress fit - no worries there - but I wanted it to be loose. I wanted it to be falling off. And although it fit, it kind of pushed up my chest in a way that didn't exactly make my boobies look big - which is what you'd assume and wouldn't be so bad - but made my upper chest/sholder area look poofy. Odd to describe, I know, but it's something that weightloss and strength training will help. I just need to get back on it.

So, I've given myself the next 5 days. Not to go crazy, but to enjoy my last bit of "freedom" food wise. After that, I've got to be committed. I can still conceivably be under 200 for my wedding - a goal I've always had. Of course I'd love to be 'at goal' but that's not going to happen now. I'll be satisfied with under 200. That's about where I was when I met Erik. It'd be appropriate. I can DO it. Right?

Other than the weight issue, wedding planning has been surprisingly easy. I know I know, I just jinxed myself, but sheesh - should I be stressing about details by now? I keep checking my little "checklists" available all over the web, and I'm right on track. Everything that should be booked/planned is done. Just waiting for final numbers from my guests to shore up the details. I have appointments with the vendors I need to make final decisions for. I'm good to go. So WHY can't I focus on the one thing that scares me the most about this wedding? Why can't I put more energy into the weightloss project I care so much about?

I will. Starting Monday. Yes, that sound like a HORRIBLE, typical fat-girl statement ("I'll start tomorrow, again"). But that's the plan. Meanwhile - the goal is damage control.

66 days

THURSDAY

So my titles might be a little boring for the next few months. They will be designed to keep me focused on the end goals - eye on the prize as they say. So today we are 66 days out.

How did I do yesterday? Well, not bad. Not phenomenal, but not bad. I did log all my food into Sparkpeople for the first time in months. My total for the day awas 1700 calories. A bit higher than I wanted to be, but I'll accept it as it was filled with mostly nutritious foods - grilled chicken Caesar salad for lunch (with dressing on the side, thank you) and chicken salad sandwich for dinner with lots of lettuce & tomato and a small handful of cashews and 2 slices of cheese. Along with popcorn for a snack. Not bad at all.

Bad news? No exercise. I didn't feel like it (when do I ever feel like it?) after I got home. I did NOT go out for drinks though, like I have for about 2 weeks straight. (small victories). The exercise thing is going to be tough for the next week and a half. I get back to boot camp in July 7th. Until then I'm on my own, and I suck on my own. I actually "thought" about getting up early this morning to run before work, but of course I didn't do it.

The frustrating thing right now is that I'm have a really crappy work situation. I'm working on a case where we we represent a humane society that had contracted with the county to run animal control. According to the contract, the county has the right to review our documents within 3 years of the end of the contract. We terminated our contract earlier this year, and for purely political reasons, the county now wants to audit our documents. So I've been sitting in a conference room all week with three county auditors as they go over our documents and flag the ones they want copied. It's so much bullshit, and I hate not being in my office, but we don't trust them with our documents, so I'm essentially on babysitting duties. Luckily my "charge" is not a real baby and doesn't cry, but it's still very needy! Lol.

Anyway, I am getting some work done down here, and can bill my time to someone regardless, but sheesh it's frustrating. I've had to get in before 9:00 each day - something I don't normally do because of my commute and traffic issues. So, yeah. Getting up to work out before work just isn't happening. Hell - at least I'm working, right?

Another thing this stupid babysitting job is doing, is keeping me from picking up my wedding dress. I really need a 2 hour lunch to get over there to try it on and make sure everything looks right before I leave with it. So far, no good. Maybe this evening if I can kick them out early enough before the store closes.

So - back to goals - I'm having another salad for lunch. Planning to make good choices at dinner, and probably will end up "thinking" about exercising. ;-)

Oh - and no weight post for a week or so as I'm too scared. I need to focus for a bit then see the damage.

9.5 weeks

WEDNESDAY

So I am 9.5 weeks away from the wedding. That would be 67 days. Really? I mean, only 67 days? I feel like I should have more to do. But I keep checking the wedding "checklists" and everything's on track. Now I just need to get closer to finalize a head count, then I can do the last big things on the list. It seems almost too easy.

Now - onto the focus of this blog - weight and weight loss. 9.5 weeks is a long time but not SO long that it is daunting. 4 months is daunting. 67 days is "a bit". I would like to convince myself that I can be a very good dieter/exerciser for 67 days. That doesn't sound unreasonable. I've done it before. We all know I'm going to totally party it up at the wedding and honeymoon beyond. So, can I sacrifice my beloved beer/pizza/fries/burgers/etc. for 67 days? Can I prioritize exercise over poker and sleeping in? Can I?

Of course only time will tell, but here we are, and I'm ready to try. Today I logged my breakfast into spark people. I will log my lunch as well. And dinner. And EXERCISE. Because tonight I am going to dust off my beautiful treadmill and give it a "whirl". Literally. 67 days. I can and WILL do this.

So far today:
Calories consumed: 482
Calories remaining available: 1018
Exercise yet to be done: 60 minutes/~700 calories

HERE WE GO...

Wedding Dress is In

TUESDAY

So I got a call yesterday from my bridal shop to say that my dress has come in - a MONTH early. Crazy. I'm so not ready for this! I'm sure it'll fit, but I'm still not at all where I wanted to be when the dress came in. I think I've decided to hold off on fittings until the end of July when the dress was supposed to come in. I'm going back to Boot camp on July 7th and hopefully will have made some more progress by then.

So the last few weeks I've been totally off program. Letting myself eat and drink what I wanted. It's time to re-focus. All the hard work I did the last couple months had really begun to show. I've had at least 10 people in the last 2 weeks comment on how they could tell I was losing weight. And I've responded by letting myself go. What gives? So - back on track this morning. I skipped the fast food breakfast and opted instead for a high protein option of a balance bar and some cashews. Lunch was a huge salad with chicken breast and vinagrette dressing (on the side!) I also had some sunchips which I didn't need, but overall a good choice. My new plan for the next 10 weeks or so is to try to have a small but protein rich breakfast, a salad for lunch and a "sensible" dinner. I go out a lot for dinner (and lunch for that matter) so maybe I can keep myself in check for 2 meals of the day then try not to go too off course for the dinner.

That's the plan. So far so good today. Here's to tomorrow.

Back to Blogging?

Not Sure on WI...

WEDNESDAY

So I'm not sure why I had such a funk with blogging. I tried to analyze why I didn't want to blog, and I think it was at least partly due to the fact that I've not been good with the bootcamp/eating/dieting thing and I feel like that girl that's always "gonna" lose weight but never does. This blog is supposed to help inspire me, keep me on track, and ultimately help me lose weight. When I've been bad, though I don't want to come on and say my weight, or say how bad I've been. So I say - ah - tomorrow I'll blog after I'm good today. But that just doesn't work sometimes.

So here's declaring. THIS BLOG IS FOR ME. Well duh, you say, who else would it be for? Well, no one in particular, but when you know someone's reading (even if it's only like 3 someones) you feel an obligation to do good. Well, I don't always do good. It's hard to lose weight. And you know what? I can still be a good person even if I don't.

So I'm back, I hope with the same goals, but hopefully not the same fears. Ironically I forgot to weigh myself this morning. Not at all in anticipation of this post. Yesterday morning i was at 217.4, so I'm sure I'm somewhere around there.

So - life is good otherwise. I've finally got some work to do, which translates to TONS of work to do. That's pretty much how it goes, though. Feast or famine. But it's better. I billed less than 100 hours last month (I should average b/w 160-180 each month). And this month until this week I hadn't billed even 40. So this is good. I'm not at a place where I worry about my job in the short run, but if that pace kept up, there'd definitely be trouble.

In other news, I've re-found my obsession with poker. I never really quit playing, and Erik and I have always gone out 1-2 nights a week to play with friends, but recently bought a book by a player I respect greatly, Gus Hansen, called Every Hand Revealed. It's basically the story of how he won the Aussie Millions - a huge annual poker tournament in Australia - in 2007. He tells every hand he played, the circumstance of the table, and his thought process behind is decisions. Fantastically boring for a non-poker player I'm sure, but exceptionally helpful to me. It got me inspired. I'm back playing online, and doing pretty well. I put $100 on my PokerStars account a week ago and have about $300 now. I'm going to try to build up a bankroll for Erik & my September trip to Vegas. We'll see how it goes, but right now I'm really lovin it.

Other than that, wedding plans are going fine. I'm sure there's something I should be doing right now but all the major stuff is taken care of, and we're down to details. I think it'll all work out just fine.

That's about it for now. I'm going to try to stay on the blogging thing. For me. It sure can't hurt. :-)

don't feel like blogging

217.0 (eh).

MONDAY

Not really in the mood to blog today, or the last week really. I'm kinda in a funk. Not sure why. Erik & I got in a fight last night that started over something small then got me all worked up. We're fine now, but it was emotionally draining. I've missed 3 boot camps now, after not making it this morning. I did email my instructors today though and promised to be there tomorrow. I'm not sure what's going on. I'm very slow at work, which leads to stress about my job security. I know it's not just me, but I still stress.

Anyway - hopefully I'll snap out of this shortly. I'm not loving life right now, though even in saying that I realize how selfish that is and how many blessings I have. Why is it sometimes hard to appreciate them?

Epi-lasik Update

216.2

WEDNESDAY

Well, I went in for my 6 week check up yesterday after my Epi-Lasik eye surgery. And ... drum roll please... I have 20/15 in both eyes. *cheer* I knew I could see well, mostly because I don't think about my vision anymore, but it was wonderful to hear that is better than "perfect". I'm so pleased. Hopefully it'll stay that way. I don't have my next check up until August, so we'll see then, but i should be good to go. The Dr. was very pleased.

And, I don't have any of the bad side effects others have complained about. I don't have dry eyes, which may be because I had Epi-Lasik rather than traditional Lasik - I seem to remember reading/hearing that was one of the differences. I don't have halo's or night vision problems. Frankly I feel like I see exactly like I used to with my torric contact lenses in. But with out the troublesome eye irritation from the contacts. Very nice!

No other major update. Today we had "off" from boot camp - one of two week days during the month where we have a break. I was so excited to sleep in, but I think my body has become accustomed to the early morning wake up's (could it be true?!?) because I woke up at 4:45 on the dot, then kept waking up every 30-45 minutes until finally I gave up 30 minutes before my alarm went off. Crazy. I didn't think it was possible. But - back to boot camp tomorrow, so all's well.

On the food front, I still can't commit it seems. Yesterday is a perfect example. I was PERFECT all the way until dinner. Where I had a burger and fries. Boo. I'm trying to counteract this with getting in as much exercise as possible - adding WiiFit workouts to the days I have boot camp. But sheesh - I've got 88 more days. Where am I going to get the motivation to commit?

Same ol' same ol.

I did pick up my bridesmaid dresses yesterday, which look great. I also paid off my dress. And in a hope to feel inspired and motivated, had the clerk write down the body measurements I had taken when I ordered the dress. My thought was that, though I haven't lost a ton of weight, hopefully I've lost inches from the boot camp. I'm going to try to remember to measure tonight.

That's about it...

90 Days and COUNTING.

215.8

MONDAY

This weekend was nice. Except for a little tiff on Friday night with Erik. I got to see Sex and the City twice on Friday. Once with work people, once with my girl friends. Very nice. I got to share a beer with my fellow boot camp graduates. That was nice as well. And after Erik apologized and realized how wrong he was on Friday, Saturday and Sunday shaped up nice as well. Saturday we bought our wedding bands and ordered the tuxes for the wedding. Check and Check off the to do list. Then we went to a friend of his's house for his friend's son's graduation party. That was nice. Then we went home and watched movies together while drinking beer (my last binge for a while, I hope). Sunday we worked on the house. A lot. I got my office set up, did the grocery shopping. He got our seasonal stuff put away in the attic and the yard trimmed/edged. Not a bad day. Then we had a nice dinner at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant.

Didn't want to come to work today...wanted a longer weekend.

Oh well -this morning was the first day of a new month of boot camp. There were only about 8 or 10 new people, and probably 10 or 12 returning people. So it'll be a smaller class this time unless a lot of new people sign up last minute (like I did last month).

So this month, my focus is food. Last month it was surviving the obscenely early morning workouts. Now I feel strong at the workouts, so I need to try to really incorporate their food plan. I'm at 215.8 today. I hope to be under 210 by the end of the month. That's the plan. I know if I do well on food I can do it. It's the unplanned binges that put me behind.

So - today has started off well. I've got 2 of my 5-6 small meals eaten with a plan for all but my dinner, which I have lots of choices at home for. And I hope to get 2 work-outs a day in. On at boot camp and one on either the WiiFit or Treadmill at home at night. I've got 90 days till the wedding. 90 days. That will go SOOO fast, I know it.

Oh and for further motivation? The ring I picked out for my wedding band came in a size 7. They agreed to size it for me, but we decided to wait until closer to the wedding to see what the right size will be. Already I'm down to a 7 1/2 from a 8 1/4 that my engagement ring is. We're getting that sized too. But if I can get down to a 7, no need to size the band, just need to size the engagement ring. I have no idea how many pounds I need to lose to drop .5 size in a wedding band, but hell, it'd be nice recognition if I can do it.

Here we goooooo.


Now I just have to get my work done that's due today.

Oh

Graduation!

216.8 (down a little bit more...)

FRIDAY

TGIF! I'm totally psyched about today. It started wonderfully at 5:00 am (believe it or not). Today was our last day of boot camp - for this session. We had our "post-test" and I totally improved a lot. Here's the stats:

Pre Test (May 9)
Push ups in 1 min: 0 regular, 18 facilitated (on knees)
Sit ups in 1 min: 25
Dips in 1 min: 19 regular (legs straight), 20 facilitated (legs bent)
1 mile run: 9:09 minutes

Post Test (Today)
Push ups in 1 min: 7 regular, 28 facilitated
Sit ups in 1 min: 32
Dips in 1 min: 20 regular, 30 facilitated
1 mile run: 8:34 minutes!

So, I shaved 35 seconds off my mile run, and added a whole bunch of strength. I'm lovin it! Especially since I haven't seen massive movement in the scale, which I know is due to my lack of commitment to the food plan. I'm hoping next month will be better on that front.

So now, we have our graduate party tonight. Our instructors are buying us each a drink (because supposedly we haven't drank all month. I doubt many stuck to it that religiously, though it would have been nice, I'm sure.)

But - before that I have a crazy day planned. I had made plans a month ago to see the Sex and the City premier with Holly and a couple other friends. She bought the tickets and we're going at the 10:45 showing tonight. Before that is the graduation party at 7:00 where I'll allow myself 2 drinks, since I'm driving to the movie.

Then earlier this week, I got an email from a young partner at my firm that she is organizing a "girls day out" with our female summer associates to go to the Sex and the City premier at 3:30 today. She wanted as many women attorneys as could to go and bond with our summers. So I asked Holly if she'd be totally pissed if I saw it early and then again with them. She completely understood. So I'm leaving work today at 3:00 to go see the movie. Then home to get ready for the party, then off to see it again. Crazy. but so fun.

I'm looking forward to this weekend. I think it'll be good for Erik & I. We've had a crazy month or so, and really haven't connected just the two of us much. Last weekend was Michigan trip, the weekend before that he had daniel, the weekend before that my mom was in town and the weekend before that I was in Panama City for bike-week. So this is our first weekend, just the two of us, in a long time. We need it. All is good, and I totally love this man, but I feel like we've not connected emotionally or physically very well in a while. I need me some Erik time.

So, our plans for the weekend - he's going with me to the graduation party, but not the movie (he doesn't get the SATC fascination). Tomorrow we're getting up early for a bonus workout for my boot camp (a recruiting measure b/w sessions). Then we're going to pick out tuxes and wedding bands. In the afternoon we're going to a high school graduation party for the son of a good friend of his. Then we might find somewhere to play poker together tomorrow night.

Sunday is church and working on the house. And probably work for me, since I have not accomplished much this week and have a project due Monday.

We have some plans, but I think it'll still be relaxing. Nice to be with just him and me.

Then Monday starts Boot Camp - Month 2. Another "pre-test" I'm sure, then off and running trying to improve even more. I'm excited!

Tanning makes you Thin!

217.2 (down a bit at least)

WEDNESDAY

So yesterday wasn't bad. I had a pretty good day food wise and got in two exercise sessions - one at boot camp and one at home on the Wii Fit - my new obsession. It was the first time I've gotten on it since the Michigan trip, and of course it was last night after dinner, so I wasn't surprised with the bouncy little scale was sad that I had gained 4 lbs since my last visit. I expect it to go down as the week progresses. I had fun though and did a good number of yoga, strength and cardio workouts along with the fun balance games it has. I've unlocked a new balance game that I cannot manage to beat yet. Which is good I guess, I'd get bored if I could beat them all immediately, but this one is just frustrating me! Oh well - makes it that more of a challenge I guess.

This morning's boot camp was killer. It's the last week of the month session, so they're really trying to kick our butts, knowing we're stronger than we were when we started. And boy did they. They had a guest trainer from the Atlanta boot camp, and he was crazy strong. Very motivating though, and a killer work out that I felt great about afterwards. After my shower and 90 minute power nap before work, I was actually sore already. Now that might be a combination of yesterday's long run for boot camp, last nights WiiFit strength training AND this morning's butt kicking, but either way, I'm glad. I like being this kind of sore - makes me know it's working.

So hopefully this scale will continue to creep back down this week. I knew I'd done a good bit of damage over the weekend with the Michigan trip. Good news is the only other travel plans this summer before wedding stuff starts is a short trip over 4th of July weekend to see my family. That gives me all of June with no travel, no big weekend party plans, and a good time to really see some progress on the scale/strength meters. I'm looking forward to it!

So my tanning contract expired last week and I decided to wait until after the MI trip to renew it. I did so this morning and after some difficulties with the new staff member who put me in the wrong bed, I got 15 minutes in and felt great. Had a co-worker comment on how "tan" I look. The one thing I've noticed, and I may have posted about this before, is that tanning is a great way to look thinner, even if you've not lost weight. I find that people often notice when I look tan and rather than saying "you look tan" they usually say "you look great - have you lost weight?". So - in lieu of a good weight loss month, I'll take a good tan.

That said - I'm not a fan of long term tanning. I'm doing this for the wedding, and I did it last year for a couple months for Holly's wedding. I probably won't tan again for a long while. I hate the way older women, who've obviously tanned their whole lives, look. Very leathery. I don't want that type of skin. So after the wedding photos, I'll be going back to my natural pasty whiteness I think. Meanwhile, I'll enjoy the benefits of a tan(ner) body!

Long Glutenous Weekend & I HATE UNITED

217.6 (good considering...)

TUESDAY

I had a great weekend. For the most part. Once we got there. Ok, so traveling sucked. I HATE United now, and will never, by choice, fly them again. We flew out on Friday afternoon. Even though we live in Atlanta, the hub of Delta, where we can always get direct flights, we choose to fly United and do a layover in Chicago. Mostly because we waited too long and the United flight was significantly cheaper than the Delta direct. When you're flying 3 people, you need to find the cheapest flights you can.

So, we're already spoiled in that we never usually have to deal with a layover. But this time we did. Ok, no big deal, right? Our flight to Chicago left almost on time. Then we had a 2 1/2 hour layover, which wouldn't be so bad if you weren't traveling with a 5 year old. So we had dinner, and tried to entertain him as best we could. Then we took our short flight to Lansing, MI - about 30 mins away from Erik's parents house. This was a small flight in a small plane. Probably only about 50 people on the entire plane and it wasn't full. Of course, when we landed in Lansing, about 8:00, we only got one of the bags. And not the one with our clothes, just the little one that we put our toilettries in. The worst part about it - besides the fact that we had a 2 1/2 HOUR LAYOVER so there was no excuse - was that about 15% of the passengers on the plane didn't get their luggage. So it wasn't a mere oversight - it was a pervasive problem. According to the United rep in lansing, this is typical out of Chicago. Typical? To lose 15% of the bags?

So, we went home to promises that it would be on the next flight (11:30 pm) and be delivered to our house within 4 hours. Which sucks because we'd be waiting by the phone for the courier to call up to 4:00 am, but at least we'd have our bags. Oh no - we don't get a call, or a delivery. By 8:00 am, Erik's pissed and calls the airline's 800 number. Which of course is directed to INDIA. And that person says our bags are still in Lansing, but will be delivered by 12:30. Unhappy, but at least having obtained a promise as to a delivery time, Erik hangs up. 12:30 comes and goes - no bags, no call. Lie #1. Erik calls back and this time is told, "we've already delivered" them. Excuse me? We have been here the whole time, never got the promised call, never got the promised bags. Lie #2. Finally, after about 4 more phone calls to India and a very rude courier, our luggage arrives about 1:30. For our trouble? We are offered a $25 gift certificate to ride United. Um...don't bother.

So time in MI is wonderful - see family, sleep, read, and eat eat eat. We're set to fly out yesterday. Our flight out of Lansing goes fine - to Chicago, where we're supposed to have a 1 hour layover. We get off the flight and see that we're delayed but 1 1/2 hours. Grrrr. And they can't even tell us what gate we'll be at. So we can't take our stuff, and 5 year old and plop down somewhere because we don't know where we need to be. So we go to their "customer service counter," which consists of a large counter with 6-10 phones and computer screens - completely UNMANNED. Not a single united agent in site at the "custemer service desk". So we get on the phone and are told that our plane is coming from Singapore and was late taking off. When Erik gets irritated, the lady on the phone (probably in India) tells him he can go to any united agent and get issued a meal voucher for our trouble. He asks for a confirmation number or something to ensure we get such a voucher, and she says we don't need one, just ask any agent. So we do. And 2 different agents tell us, hell no - they can't issue vouchers for a 1 1/2 hour delay on a flight that doesn't even serve food. Ok. That's lie number 3.

We're done at this point. There's no convincing us that United gives a SHIT about customer service. Their M.O. appears to be "get you off the phone as soon as possible" and "pawn you off on someone else" and "hope you get tired of asking for what you're promised." Done. Ridiculous.

So we didn't end up getting home till almost midnight last night. Very frustrating. Thank goodness the visit with family was good, but we will never fly United, and hopefully will never deal with a layover again.

This morning was back to boot camp. I was really looking forward to it, in fact, since I had such a horrible weekend food-wise. And this morning ROCKED. We ran about 4-5 miles. About 50 mintues straight. I only walked for maybe 3 minutes total, near the end. I felt so good, and I definitely needed it after this weekend. This is the last week of the original boot camp month and we have our graduation party on Friday night. Then I start fresh with a new month on Monday. I'm glad I committed. It's actually getting easier to get up at 5:00 am now that I've done it for a month - of couse it helps when I can go back to bed for a 90 minute power nap before heading into work, like this morning.

Michigan here I come & Wii Fit

217.8 (whatever)

FRIDAY

Well it's been a good week other than the food thing. I've really lost my focus there. But I do have some good news, regardless. I've had at least 5 people, over the last 48 hours, tell me that I really look great, that they can see the difference. Which is wonderful. I think there's two things that have caused this. 1) I've been doing really good with this boot camp - and it's showing, particularly in my muscle tone. Although I haven't dropped massive amounts of weight, I know I've gotten a lot stronger, so that may be what people are noticing. 2) I've been tanning. I've noticed that even if you're not losing weight/toning up, a tan makes you look thinner. I don't know why, maybe it's that "healthy glow" it gives you, like you've been out in the sun recently, but it works. I've been doing the fake tanning, but the result is the same.

Either way, I like it. I'm going out of town this weekend, but once I get back, I'm going to be right at 3 months until the wedding. I hope to be able to do even better over the next few months and really tone up. That said - the work I've done so far, already has made a difference, and if for some reason I don't make any more progress, I know I'll fit into my wedding dress and look good - if not as good as I could, I'll still look good.

I'm not giving up - I'm still motivated to make a big difference, but I'm also staying positive so I don't beat myself up too much if I don't reach my goals.

Anyway, Erik & I leave today with Daniel to go to Michigan for a short vacation. We fly out at about 2:00 and get back on Monday afternoon. We usually go up there once a year for a week or so, but this time, with the wedding coming up and all, we could only work out a long weekend. So, off we go.

I'm going to try to keep things in check this weekend. I always eat really crazy in Michigan because his dad is a really good cook and they make massive meals once or twice a day. I'm going to try to reduce my portions, and get in a good run both Sat. & Sun. That's the plan - hopefully I can execute. The good news is I always get a lot of sleep in Michigan. Which is wonderful and something I've been a little short on recently.

In other news, Erik & I got our Wii Fit on Wednesday. It is SOOOOO cool. I absolutely love it. Even if it does make my character look really tubby after my weigh in (motivation I guess). The exercises and games are really fun and some of them are really challenging. I definitely think that Wii Fit will be a nice compliment to the work I'm already doing. I fun way to burn a few more calories in the day. We got it Wednesday night and Erik & I stayed up until 11:30 playing it, knowing we were both getting up at 5:00 am the next morning for boot camp (it was bring a friend day). But we're competitive, and we found that each of us have particular strengths. I'm good at the dancing/balance games, he's good at the technique/sport games. I'll probably post more about this after we get back from Michigan and as I figure it out more, but so far all signs point to LOVING the Wii Fit!

I think that's about it. I leave for the airport in about an hour, so need to get some work wrapped up.

Grand Jury is fun!

216.2 (grrr).

WEDNESDAY

This week has been crazy busy, but really refreshing, too. Late last week I picked up a new matter that is in the area I want to work - White Collar. I can't say too much for confidentiality reasons, but basically we have a client who's being accused of anti-trust violations that have both civil and criminal ramifications. Yesterday the president/ceo of our client and two other employees, along with 2 former employees were subpoenaed before the federal grand jury here in Atlanta. I got to help prep the witnesses on Monday and attend the grand jury yesterday (well actually we couldn't go "in" to the grand jury, but it appears very similar to the state court grand juries I did as a prosecutor). Huge deal for our client, very interesting for me. I'm so happy to be on this case, and HOPE I can get into some more of those type of matters.

It's all the more important because I was really getting bored with my job. I'm only on one "real" case and the rest of my time is filled with helping out with various small matters. The firm is working on integrating me more, but meanwhile, it hasn't been all that rewarding. So this week was a nice change of pace.

Fitness -wise this week's been tough - as evidenced by the number on the scale this morning, which is actually lower than yesterday's 216.6. I had to miss boot camp yesterday to meet our client before the grand jury, and have generally just eaten poorly for the last 2 days. I really need to focus and get things back on track. I've got 1.5 weeks left of this boot camp and I'd really like to see another couple pounds gone. I still think it's been really helpful, but without keeping my food in check I won't see the results I want.

I have already decided to "re-up" for another 3 months of boot camp. Getting up at 5:00 am sucks, but I feel SOO good afterwards, and I'm really starting to bond with my trainers. And frankly, it's working. Even if I'm not seeing dramatic drops in the scale, I'm definitely stronger than when I started. I can do more sit ups, more push ups, more dips, and so many other things than when I started. I needed this to get me the strength training I've so avoided for so long. So, I'm in for the remainder of the time before the wedding. I need to do this.

Today I'm going to try to have a really good food day because I have Weigh In tomorrow for Weight Watchers. I'm pretty sure I'll see a loss regardless, but want it to be as good as possible. I already turned down a lunch invitation so I could make good choices here in the office instead (go me!).

Here's to a good day!

And the Beat Goes On...

215.6

MONDAY

Another week! And going to be a busy one at that. Today I'm prepping witnesses for federal gran jury testimony tomorrow and Wednesday. Thursday looks chill right now, but Friday Erik, Daniel and I are flying to Michigan for a short vacation over memorial day. Busy busy.

Good weekend overall with just a few stumbles. Yes, Friday night I was "ok". I ended up going out and had 2 beers and an "ok" dinner. But Saturday ROCKED. I ate just as I was supposed to and got a lot done including, watching Daniel's final baseball game, grocery shopping, laundry (including sheets!) AND I run 4.25 miles. Not bad. I was thus rewarded with a 213.8 on the scale Sunday morning. Very nice. My first "213" yet, even if it was a "barely".

Yesterday wasn't bad, but ended not so good. We went to church, then I had to bill some hours for work getting a memo done that I wasn't going to have time to finish this week. I got it done, though, and that's what matters. I was absolutely starving all day, though. I think in part because I had such a low cal day on Saturday. I did good with my choices until about 7:00 pm. Erik had been out running errands, and I was craving food not in my house, so we ended up going to mexican. I didn't go crazy (i.e. margarita's and queso dip) but did, of course eat mexican - which is never good. Thus the scale this morning. Which isn't too bad considering. I'm happy that my "high days" still have me down a good solid 10lbs.

This morning's boot camp was nice, even with the "encouragement" I had to endure. We did sprints along with some strength exercises. I can definitely tell that I'm getting stronger. I can do way more push-ups (yes, on my knees) than I could before. Maybe soon I'll graduate to the "real" ones.

This Thursday is "friends and family" day for boot camp and Erik is ridiculously excited, even if he won't admit it. He even got up this morning at about 5:30 and ran on our treadmill. Something he hasn't done for at least a couple weeks. It's too cute. I think he's really worried he'll look like such a wimp. In reality, there is such a broad range of fitness abilities, that he will be fine, but I'm kinda liking his stressing about it. It's cute.

So I've completed 8 days of the boot camp. It's supposed to be 18 total, but I missed the first two, so for me it's 16. Meaning I'm half way through. I'm pleased with my progress, though I need to keep up better with the food choices to ensure the best results. I'd love to lose 30 lbs in the next 3 1/2 months, but realistically, if I see under 200 before the wedding, I'll feel like a great success.

I can DO it!

Bam! Off the Wagon...

217.4 (see title)

FRIDAY

Ok, so I fell. Hard. Yesterday was a crazy hectic day after 12:00 pm. I was running around with a partner on a new case that is really cool and exciting, but really stressful too. I didn't get a good snack in for the afternoon, and then Erik & I decided to go out to Y-knots for poker. We haven't been out for a while with family obligations and all. So, I fell. Hard. I got to Y-knots tired, stressed and hungry. I.e. recipe for a major beer craving. Now, excluding my trip to Panama City to see my family, I haven't drank in a month. This from a girl that probably put away about 15 or so beers a week. At least. So, I was craving hard, and I totally gave in. Course giving into the bucket of beer (to share with Erik!) quickly led to giving into bad food choices for dinner - i.e. buffalo chicken fingers, tater tots & ranch. Grrr. Why? So not necessary.

So all in all I had 3 1/2 beers (including one once we got home). And yes, I was definitely tipsy from them. But I did get to sleep by 10:30. So I did make it to boot camp this morning after all, even if I was feeling a bit tired. Good work out - didn't feel like it at first, but got into it after the warm up.

Today I've still not crawled up on the wagon. I'm such a creature of habit that when my routine gets messed up, I lose it. This morning I had a dentist appointment at 9:00 am. I got an email from the partner I'm working with at 7:00 am this morning asking my to drop by when I get in to discuss some projects. I emailed him and subsequently talked to him on the phone about my dentist appointment but bottom line, I ended up rushing into work after getting my tooth drilled. I had a small snack after my work out at 6:30 am, but didn't want to eat before my dentist appointment. Then I was all numb afterwards, and didn't want to try to eat with half my face not working, so I didn't end up getting lunch till about 1:00 pm. When I was ravenously hungry and ended up getting a chick-fil-a sandwich AND a Moe's naked burrito AND tortilla chips from our cafeteria downstairs. Who eats like this? I figured maybe I could be strong and not eat the chips, which came with the Moe's order (thus I didn't intentionally purchase that much food...). But no - I have no will power. I used to be smart enough to just say - "no chips please". Why didn't I do that today? Because I secretly knew I'd eat every one of those chips and enjoy it.

So now it's 3:00 pm and I'm full, bloated, blah feeling. Not at all the "program" I'm supposed to be on with 5-6 small meals. I don't feel like eating again at all today, though I'm sure that'll change in a few hours, knowing me. Uck.

On top of that Erik & I got into an emotional discussion last night (after my 3 1/2 beers) about my weight issues, self esteem issues, body issues, etc., and how I didn't feel like he was really noticing all the hard work I was doing. It's all worked out, though. Bottom line is he's just not a strong communicator, and though I know he loves me and finds me attractive, he doesn't say it much because that's just him. He promised to work on it and I promised to try to not get emotional again too soon.. Lol.

So yeah, the last 24 hours have kinda sucked.

And now I'm looking at a weekend where I'm definitely going to have to work. I've had a project I've been futzing around with that is due Monday and I haven't been able to work on it the last two days with this new case. So I need to buckle down and work on that this afternoon. Get as much done as possible so I'm not stuck with too much this weekend.

Good news is we have no social plans this weekend except a poker game Sunday night. At a friends house, not at a bar, so no temptations should exist. I should definitely be able to get in some exercise, and most importantly considering my emotional state - some sleep. I WILL be sleeping in tomorrow, and loving every minute of it.

That's about it - ah the life of a lawyer-bride. :-)

I'm rocking the exercise, and boy my body hurts!

214.8 (better - now, can we see a 213?!?)

THURSDAY

I am VERY proud to say that I DID hit the treadmill last night. That's right. I got home about 7:45. I hit the treadmill at about 8:00 for 30 minutes, 2 1/2 miles, and about 400 calories burned. Not bad! I also ate a lot at work and lunch yesterday so didn't have anything to eat after I got home mostly because I just wasn't hungry, and I didn't want to kill the hard work I'd just done.

I think I'm starting to get more used to the morning routine because last night, probably for the first night, I just about slept through the whole night. I'm a really light sleeper and generally wake up several times a night naturally. Last night I went to bed at 10:00 - just after American Idol finished - and only woke up once at about 11:30 to pee (normal for me with all the water I'm chuggin these days). The next time I remember waking up was when the alarm went off at 5:00. Not bad. I'm still not quite getting enough sleep, but I'm slowly working my bed time back. It used to be midnight, so 10 is an accomplishment.

Granted Erik's not used to it yet. He tried to get frisky after Idol, and I straight up told him that while I'm doing this boot camp, any "extra-curricular" activities, need to be initiated before 10 pm. Or he's just out of luck. ;-)

This morning we did "field maneuvers", which basically means lots of strength work. We did about 110 reps of dips, sit ups, push ups, and leg lifts, mixed in with some running and lunges. Fun fun!

So I am really sore today. I knew this was coming when I signed up, but boy it hurts. Odd places too. Each day I seem to have a different sore spot. Which is good in the sense that it shows we're working lots of different muscles. But I'd hoped that after a week or so the soreness would be minimal. Today my "obliques" are sore. That's like the sides of your body between your armpit and hips. We did a little work on those yesterday but I really didn't think the exercises were that hard. I guess my body thought they were. Oww. And my backs a little sore today too, though not in the bad way (sharp pain) in the dull ache-muscle soreness type of way.

So I don't think I'll be hitting the treadmill tonight. I just got word that I'm picking up a new project today - in the white collar area - which I'm really excited about. I'm waiting now for the partner to call me. His email suggested some deadlines next week, so I might actually be busy this week, and possibly work this weekend. Which could really help my hours. I need to bill some time baby! All that by way of saying, no extra work-out today. And I'm going to make a serious effort to be in bed by 9:00 tonight to get LOTS of sleep.

In other news - I'm "re-starting" weight watchers today. I probably shouldn't. I'm not planning on actually using their plan. But as I think I said before, we have it at my work, and they weigh in's are on Thursdays at lunch. I have a friend who sits next to me to goes with me. I'd like to use it as an "official weigh in" system rather than a food system. Right now I'm really enjoying the body-for-life system of eating. I got the book in yesterday (titled "eating for lifestyle") and really feel like this is something I can do. Of course the book's system gives you one "cheat" day a week where you can eat anything. Apparently operation boot camp doesn't seem to think that's necessary. Oh well - I can do anything for 3 1/2 more months, right? All for the dress! :-)

Bad Trainer

215.4.

WEDNESDAY

HUMP day. Boy, I never was one of those people who really counted down the days to the weekend until now. I want to sleep in! :-) Oh well - two more days.

My mom left to go back home to Tennessee today. I'm very sad to see her go, but understand she misses her home, cats and the rest of the family who live out there. She did promise to come back, though, despite the fact that she worked so hard while here - 90% was her own motivation, not demands from me. I'm sad to see her go, but glad she got to spend about a week here.

So last night I took her to Outback for dinner. I wanted to treat her before she left, and knew I could be "ok" there diet wise. I was good and ordered the 9 oz lean sirloin and a salad. I was bad and also ordered mashed potatoes, and ate them all, along with the steak, and salad, and a few small slices of bread.

So - I logged it all in my boot camp journal, expecting to be "encouraged" again this morning. But nope. I got the "bad" trainer. See the way this boot camp works is that our class is divided into "companies". I'm in Charlie company (I bet you can guess the other two...yes, Alpha & Bravo). Anyway, we also have 3 trainers, Allen David & Kevin. Each week a different trainer is assigned to a different company. Last week I had David. This week I have Kevin. Now, Kevin is clearly new, I even asked him the first day how long he'd been doing this and he candidly said "a couple months". I suspect this is his first month as an actual trainer. Anyway, he sucks. And not just because he's new. He's just not cut out to be a trainer. One of the cool things about the other two is they keep you motivated. They keep you working. If they're around, they're calling out your name, saying "Come on Cindy - one more sprint" or "Come on Cindy, get a little lower in your lunges". etc. Kevin? The best he can come up with is "Great job everyone" or "keep moving, you're doing great". And most of the time he doesn't say anything. He's just not the right personality type to be a trainer in this environment. So it's a little disappointing when I'm in his group.

That said, I guess it worked out to my advantage today because he apparently didn't see anything wrong with my food entry of "sirloin steak, salad, mashed potatoes". Now, first of all, I did legitimately forget to write down the bread. I honestly thought I'd get "encouragement" anyway for the mashed potatoes, so I certainly didn't intentionally leave it out. But the thing is - any of the other trainers would have questioned that entry. It's not that we don't get to eat potatoes, we're just supposed to limit them, and minimize the toppings/additives/etc. If asked, I would have told him it was from Outback which would definitely have been a no-no. I should have ordered broccoli or green beans or something. But nah - he felt I was all good.

Oh well. I probably should have gone to encouragement anyway - they do let you voluntarily go if you like - but it was easier, of course, to just get on the car and go home. I needed it though - I had over 2200 calories yesterday, when the rest of this last week I've hovered around 1500 which is much better. So I should have burned the extra calories, and I'm sure that's why the scale crept up a bit today.

So, I have tentative plans to hit the treadmill tonight. In part to atone for missing encouragement, and in part because we didn't get much cardio in today. We did an ab circuit training thing which I will definitely feel tomorrow, but I'm certain I burned less calories than normal. So I'd like to kick it up a notch and try to run. Additionally, with the boot camp I haven't been on the treadmill in over a week. I want to keep running and eventually do a half marathon, so I need to keep at it. Wish me luck - finding motivation at 8:00 pm is hard.

I love my Mom!

215.0 (not bad)

TUESDAY

Well today will be short because I actually have work to do. I was in court this morning and have to be back at 1:30. Anyway, all is going well. Today's boot camp was good. We did running sprints up hills. Total killer but felt great. More ab work and lunges have made my butt sore - which is funny to me. No encouragement today - I was good yesterday!

Well, my mom's been in town since last Thursday and has been a big help getting things done at the house. Yesterday she planted a whole lot of flowers in my back yard, and also hung most of our big pictures as well as added some fake flowers and other misc. decorating things. This is stuff I would never have done. Not because I don't like it, but because I'm just not good at figuring out this stuff. So I'm so pleased. My house looks so much "homier".

Only bad thing is that it's gotten a bit cool this week in good ol' Georgia. Not too bad during the day (mid-70's) but damn getting up at 5:00 am and going outside when it's below 50 sucks. Yes. I'm a wimp to all you northerners. But I live in the south. And it's supposed to be warm in May! Hopefully it'll heat up soon.

Anyway - gotta run to court. Hope to see the scale in the 214's again tomorrow...

Encouragement (i.e. punishment)

214.6 (oh yeah.)

MONDAY

I had a GREAT weekend. But it went by WAY too fast. My mom came into town on Thursday last week to help get my house in order, and just make her first visit to my new home. It's so great having her there. My mom and I are totally best friends and I miss her so much when we don't get to see each other. Besides, she's super helpful around the house. I am a HORRIBLE decorator. I mean, really bad. I have no idea how to position things to look good. So she came in and has already put up a bunch of our pictures, and repositioned things so they look really good.

So, Saturday I was going to get up and run a 5K that that guy Josh in my boot camp told me about. I had Erik all convinced to go, and mom ready to come watch. But right before bed, I nixed the idea because I realized I only get 2 days a week to really catch up on sleep. I shouldn't squander them. Even if it is for exercise.

So, Saturday morning I slept wonderfully till 10:00 am. Almost 11 hours of sleep. You can tell I needed it I think. Once we got up, mom and I went up to IKEA, just about the coolest furniture store ever, and bought me some bookcases. Well, turns out I didn't need to go running that morning because we got our workout buying those bookcases. I measured the wall in my soon-to-be library and determined we needed about 7 of these really big bookcases, plus 7 more "height extenders" to make it almost as tall as the ceiling. Boy were they heavy! Ikea gives you these rolling carts like at home depot to carry everything (they are in boxes to be put together by you), and we totally overloaded the first one. to the point it wouldn't roll! We had to separate the stock to two of these big rolley carts, and still got a work out pushing them out to the car. Then loading them was a hoot. We had my mom's Jeep Liberty. We measured the depth and came up with 70 inches. I thought the bookshelves I wanted were about 72, so I knew it'd be tight. Turns out they're 79 1/2 inches. So mom was scrunched all the way up with her knees on the dash, and still we had several of the boxes sticking through the seats between us. Oh and then we had a 35 mile drive. Lol. Good thing my mom's a good sport.

We got them home, and I put on of them together, thinking I'd get Erik to do the rest. Well, when he got home, we ended up putting them all together, together. Kinda a funny project, as I kept having to tell him what he was doing wrong (boy REFUSES to read directions). But we got it done.

Then I started opening the book boxes. I LOVE books by the way. And I had boxes and boxes full of them just sitting in the library. I didn't think I'd have the energy to put them all away Saturday night, but I was just so excited, I totally did. Of course I had to organize them, popular paperback fiction by author, literary paperback fiction by author, hardbound by author, then all the non-fiction by subject matter, plus a whole section for my law books, and then all my text books from colleges (the ones I didn't sell back.) I LOVE it. I have 180 inches wide by 92 inches tall worth of bookshelves with all my books put up. I actually managed to fill about 60-70% of it, though in looking at it I decided I just didn't have enough books yet. Much to Erik's dismay...

So we were up till about 1:00 am doing that on Saturday. Sunday I took mom to the resort I'm having my wedding at to have their Sunday "brunch" and taste some of the options for our rehearsal lunch. She also got to see where everyone will stay and where the ceremony will be. Then we went home and just hung out the rest of the night. Oh and Erik bought a new microwave and installed that - which was actually rather difficult because it's one of those over the stove, under the cabinet kinds... Oh - and we bought a bunch of plants at home depot that mom has graciously put in my back courtyard (love her!) Ah - fun housework...

So this morning was the return to boot camp. Where I got "encouraged" Which is their polite way of saying "punished". Basically they review your food journal and if you weren't perfect, you get encouragement. I wasn't perfect in two ways. 1) besides pushing around bookshelves and putting them together, I didn't exercise like I was supposed to this weekend, and 2) Sunday's food wasn't on track b/c of the tasting. Couldn't get away from that, just have to suck it up.

It wasn't so bad, though. Encouragement consists of an extra 5 minutes after cool down where they push push push you. Today it was ab work and we literally did 5 STRAIGHT minutes of ab crunches, flutter kicks, plank, and many other torturous moves. I will definitely feel that tomorrow.

So I'm loving this boot camp. I will not lie, I am not loving getting up so early. But this morning I determined that if I lay my clothes out the night before I can get up at 5:00 and still be there in plenty of time to get my book checked by the instructor before the 5:30 am start time. Which is still obscenely early, but sounds much more reasonable than any time with a 4 in front of it.

I'm only 3 days in, but I really think I'm going to try to do this all the way to the wedding. After this week, I've got 15 weeks. It works out that if I do the next three sessions of the boot camp I'll go right up till the Friday 9 days before the wedding (which is on a Sunday). So I'll have the week of the wedding "off" which is perfect. I'll have lots of guests in town that week anyway, so don't want to be running off and leaving them too much. It's going to cost another $650 to add 3 more months, but I really think it'd be worth it.

I'm holding off on committing for at least another week or so, but boy my class is full, and I'd hate to be shut out. It's the only one convenient for me to go to. I'm sure I'll cave and commit soon, but I do want to be sure I can hack it. And I'm still really new to it, so I should give it a little more time.

That's about it. Need to get some work done!