I'm starting this website in September of 2006. The purpose is really for me to have another outlet to motivate myself in my weight loss journey. I've made this journey before, and somehow it's more difficult this time.
My Story:
As of Sept. 2006, I'm a 28 year old attorney living in Georgia. I've felt like I've been over weight my whole life, but in reality, I wasn't until college. I think the feelings before that stem from typical femle body image issues. I was always tall. I am now just a half inch shy of six feet tall. So growing up, even in elementary school, I was always bigger than other girls. Therefore, I always weighed more. My first memory of comparing weight with other girls is from 4th grade. I don't remember the numbers, but I remember a cute, little girl telling me what she weighed and thinking...wow...I must be fat, I weigh more than 10lbs more than her. At that age, of course, height didn't factor into the equation in my mind. I didn't know I was SUPPOSED to weigh more. So started my obsession with weight.
Looking at pictures now - I was totally thin in high school and before. Now - I wasn't "skinny" like some girls. I definitely wasn't the smallest of my friends. But I was healthy, and looked good. Course, I didn't think so at the time because I couldn't fit into my friends clothes and I weighed more than them.
Then college came. I put on the Freshman 15, plus 15 more and it just got worse from there. I had a wonderful time in college. I went to a major football university and partied like there was no tomorrow. Then I went to law school and the partying continued. I wasn't until the summer between my 2nd and 3rd year in law school that I REALLY realized how much weight I'd gained. Now, I don't know what I weighed in high school, or really even college. I seemed to have blanked out the numbers as soon as I saw them, cause I KNOW I weighed frequently. I just can't remember what the numbers were.
SO- my experience with Weight Watchers began the summer of 2001. I was interning between my 2nd and 3rd year of law school and was being "wined and dined" by the firms I was working for. I put on even more weight and finally topped the scale at 207. It was around July 1st of that summer that I first found the courage to walk into a weight watcher's meeting room. After that, it was all down hill (weight wise).
Now, I'm not going to say that losing the weight the first time was "easy". I made lots of sacrifices, and changed a lot of habits, but the weight came off very quickly. I lost about 40 lbs in a little over 5 months and hit my WW goal of 169 just before Christmas of 2001. I hit lifetime in January of 2002.
Then I quit going to meetings.
I quit weighing in, and keeping track
I quite journaling
And I quit counting points.
And I gained it all back, and then some.
Surprise surprise.
This isn't a new story if you've spent anytime on the WW boards. But it's still sad nonetheless.
Now, 4 years later, I've had to start over. This time, my "revelation" came in July of this year. I went to a conference for my job at the beach. I didn't fit into any of the shorts I had from last summer - they were tight even then - so I went to the store to find some new shorts. I couldn't find ANY that fit. My size had balloned over normal sizes, so I had to go to the Women's section at WalMart. Now, it may have been the store I was in, they may have just been out of stock of many styles of shorts, but I could not find any that fit. I tried on 18's, even 20's - a size I have never bought before. I couldn't find any that fit. So I left, I cried, and I decided that I would do this and get back to where I belonged.
Over the last 4 years, it's not like I have completely left WW. I've "tried" to get my focus back dozens of times. But for whatever reason, I couldn't commit. I didn't journal like I'm supposed to. I tried to do it in my head, thinking I've been doing it for so long, I could keep track that way. I failed every time. So I've had a spattering of weigh ins over the last four years, that really have done nothing but chronicle the re-gaining of my weight.
So - July 20, 2006, I returned to weight watchers, hopefully for the last time. I weighed in at an obscene 225.6. I have never seen that number before, and was simply disgusted at how far I'd let myself go. That being said, I know that if I had waited another couple months, or years, it would have only gotten worse.
So here I am - working the program like I did 4 years ago. I've bought the monthly pass, I use the boards (mostly the 50+ pounds to lose board) and I journal. I weigh in every Thursday evening and the process is working again. It's working a lot SLOWER this time, but it's working. I'm impatient at times, and miss they way the weight fell off last time, but I know that I can do this. Even if it happens only 1 lb or less a week.
So now, my new WW goal is 172. My personal goal is to weigh less than my adorable, and so skinny boyfriend. We're the same height (almost - he has about 1 inch on me) and he weighs around 160. I didn't get down to that last time, but I believe, that if I don't give up on the program like before, I can do it. I'll be patient once I reach the WW goal, and work to getting to that point, but I know I can do it.
I'm going to try to blog and keep up with progress pictures. If you've found me, please sign my guest book. I'd love the feedback. And here's hoping that next summer, I will FINALLY be able to wear a bikini.
