241.4
So yesterday I had a fight with my husband - nothing major or mariage threatening, just one of our occasional spats. So I left the house angry, and went to a bar to meet friends. But! I had already eaten a small but reasonable dinner and this bar doesn't serve food. So I'm safe right? I can have a few beers, commiserate with friends, and go home having not done too much damage to the scale.. um. no. I have NO control when I drink (food craving wise) and totally hit the taco bell drive through on the way home. Was I hungry? Sure felt like I was at the time. Did I choose to go home and pop some popcorn or have a handful of cashews? Nope. Bad cindy.
The scale did not punish me too badly this morning, but I fear tomorrow. It was a late night binge so maybe it will take a day for the punishment to hit. We shall see. So far today - good choices made, now to get through the next 8 hours...
Showing posts with label Binge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Binge. Show all posts
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Wedding Dress is In
TUESDAY
So I got a call yesterday from my bridal shop to say that my dress has come in - a MONTH early. Crazy. I'm so not ready for this! I'm sure it'll fit, but I'm still not at all where I wanted to be when the dress came in. I think I've decided to hold off on fittings until the end of July when the dress was supposed to come in. I'm going back to Boot camp on July 7th and hopefully will have made some more progress by then.
So the last few weeks I've been totally off program. Letting myself eat and drink what I wanted. It's time to re-focus. All the hard work I did the last couple months had really begun to show. I've had at least 10 people in the last 2 weeks comment on how they could tell I was losing weight. And I've responded by letting myself go. What gives? So - back on track this morning. I skipped the fast food breakfast and opted instead for a high protein option of a balance bar and some cashews. Lunch was a huge salad with chicken breast and vinagrette dressing (on the side!) I also had some sunchips which I didn't need, but overall a good choice. My new plan for the next 10 weeks or so is to try to have a small but protein rich breakfast, a salad for lunch and a "sensible" dinner. I go out a lot for dinner (and lunch for that matter) so maybe I can keep myself in check for 2 meals of the day then try not to go too off course for the dinner.
That's the plan. So far so good today. Here's to tomorrow.
So I got a call yesterday from my bridal shop to say that my dress has come in - a MONTH early. Crazy. I'm so not ready for this! I'm sure it'll fit, but I'm still not at all where I wanted to be when the dress came in. I think I've decided to hold off on fittings until the end of July when the dress was supposed to come in. I'm going back to Boot camp on July 7th and hopefully will have made some more progress by then.
So the last few weeks I've been totally off program. Letting myself eat and drink what I wanted. It's time to re-focus. All the hard work I did the last couple months had really begun to show. I've had at least 10 people in the last 2 weeks comment on how they could tell I was losing weight. And I've responded by letting myself go. What gives? So - back on track this morning. I skipped the fast food breakfast and opted instead for a high protein option of a balance bar and some cashews. Lunch was a huge salad with chicken breast and vinagrette dressing (on the side!) I also had some sunchips which I didn't need, but overall a good choice. My new plan for the next 10 weeks or so is to try to have a small but protein rich breakfast, a salad for lunch and a "sensible" dinner. I go out a lot for dinner (and lunch for that matter) so maybe I can keep myself in check for 2 meals of the day then try not to go too off course for the dinner.
That's the plan. So far so good today. Here's to tomorrow.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Bam! Off the Wagon...
217.4 (see title)
FRIDAY
Ok, so I fell. Hard. Yesterday was a crazy hectic day after 12:00 pm. I was running around with a partner on a new case that is really cool and exciting, but really stressful too. I didn't get a good snack in for the afternoon, and then Erik & I decided to go out to Y-knots for poker. We haven't been out for a while with family obligations and all. So, I fell. Hard. I got to Y-knots tired, stressed and hungry. I.e. recipe for a major beer craving. Now, excluding my trip to Panama City to see my family, I haven't drank in a month. This from a girl that probably put away about 15 or so beers a week. At least. So, I was craving hard, and I totally gave in. Course giving into the bucket of beer (to share with Erik!) quickly led to giving into bad food choices for dinner - i.e. buffalo chicken fingers, tater tots & ranch. Grrr. Why? So not necessary.
So all in all I had 3 1/2 beers (including one once we got home). And yes, I was definitely tipsy from them. But I did get to sleep by 10:30. So I did make it to boot camp this morning after all, even if I was feeling a bit tired. Good work out - didn't feel like it at first, but got into it after the warm up.
Today I've still not crawled up on the wagon. I'm such a creature of habit that when my routine gets messed up, I lose it. This morning I had a dentist appointment at 9:00 am. I got an email from the partner I'm working with at 7:00 am this morning asking my to drop by when I get in to discuss some projects. I emailed him and subsequently talked to him on the phone about my dentist appointment but bottom line, I ended up rushing into work after getting my tooth drilled. I had a small snack after my work out at 6:30 am, but didn't want to eat before my dentist appointment. Then I was all numb afterwards, and didn't want to try to eat with half my face not working, so I didn't end up getting lunch till about 1:00 pm. When I was ravenously hungry and ended up getting a chick-fil-a sandwich AND a Moe's naked burrito AND tortilla chips from our cafeteria downstairs. Who eats like this? I figured maybe I could be strong and not eat the chips, which came with the Moe's order (thus I didn't intentionally purchase that much food...). But no - I have no will power. I used to be smart enough to just say - "no chips please". Why didn't I do that today? Because I secretly knew I'd eat every one of those chips and enjoy it.
So now it's 3:00 pm and I'm full, bloated, blah feeling. Not at all the "program" I'm supposed to be on with 5-6 small meals. I don't feel like eating again at all today, though I'm sure that'll change in a few hours, knowing me. Uck.
On top of that Erik & I got into an emotional discussion last night (after my 3 1/2 beers) about my weight issues, self esteem issues, body issues, etc., and how I didn't feel like he was really noticing all the hard work I was doing. It's all worked out, though. Bottom line is he's just not a strong communicator, and though I know he loves me and finds me attractive, he doesn't say it much because that's just him. He promised to work on it and I promised to try to not get emotional again too soon.. Lol.
So yeah, the last 24 hours have kinda sucked.
And now I'm looking at a weekend where I'm definitely going to have to work. I've had a project I've been futzing around with that is due Monday and I haven't been able to work on it the last two days with this new case. So I need to buckle down and work on that this afternoon. Get as much done as possible so I'm not stuck with too much this weekend.
Good news is we have no social plans this weekend except a poker game Sunday night. At a friends house, not at a bar, so no temptations should exist. I should definitely be able to get in some exercise, and most importantly considering my emotional state - some sleep. I WILL be sleeping in tomorrow, and loving every minute of it.
That's about it - ah the life of a lawyer-bride. :-)
FRIDAY
Ok, so I fell. Hard. Yesterday was a crazy hectic day after 12:00 pm. I was running around with a partner on a new case that is really cool and exciting, but really stressful too. I didn't get a good snack in for the afternoon, and then Erik & I decided to go out to Y-knots for poker. We haven't been out for a while with family obligations and all. So, I fell. Hard. I got to Y-knots tired, stressed and hungry. I.e. recipe for a major beer craving. Now, excluding my trip to Panama City to see my family, I haven't drank in a month. This from a girl that probably put away about 15 or so beers a week. At least. So, I was craving hard, and I totally gave in. Course giving into the bucket of beer (to share with Erik!) quickly led to giving into bad food choices for dinner - i.e. buffalo chicken fingers, tater tots & ranch. Grrr. Why? So not necessary.
So all in all I had 3 1/2 beers (including one once we got home). And yes, I was definitely tipsy from them. But I did get to sleep by 10:30. So I did make it to boot camp this morning after all, even if I was feeling a bit tired. Good work out - didn't feel like it at first, but got into it after the warm up.
Today I've still not crawled up on the wagon. I'm such a creature of habit that when my routine gets messed up, I lose it. This morning I had a dentist appointment at 9:00 am. I got an email from the partner I'm working with at 7:00 am this morning asking my to drop by when I get in to discuss some projects. I emailed him and subsequently talked to him on the phone about my dentist appointment but bottom line, I ended up rushing into work after getting my tooth drilled. I had a small snack after my work out at 6:30 am, but didn't want to eat before my dentist appointment. Then I was all numb afterwards, and didn't want to try to eat with half my face not working, so I didn't end up getting lunch till about 1:00 pm. When I was ravenously hungry and ended up getting a chick-fil-a sandwich AND a Moe's naked burrito AND tortilla chips from our cafeteria downstairs. Who eats like this? I figured maybe I could be strong and not eat the chips, which came with the Moe's order (thus I didn't intentionally purchase that much food...). But no - I have no will power. I used to be smart enough to just say - "no chips please". Why didn't I do that today? Because I secretly knew I'd eat every one of those chips and enjoy it.
So now it's 3:00 pm and I'm full, bloated, blah feeling. Not at all the "program" I'm supposed to be on with 5-6 small meals. I don't feel like eating again at all today, though I'm sure that'll change in a few hours, knowing me. Uck.
On top of that Erik & I got into an emotional discussion last night (after my 3 1/2 beers) about my weight issues, self esteem issues, body issues, etc., and how I didn't feel like he was really noticing all the hard work I was doing. It's all worked out, though. Bottom line is he's just not a strong communicator, and though I know he loves me and finds me attractive, he doesn't say it much because that's just him. He promised to work on it and I promised to try to not get emotional again too soon.. Lol.
So yeah, the last 24 hours have kinda sucked.
And now I'm looking at a weekend where I'm definitely going to have to work. I've had a project I've been futzing around with that is due Monday and I haven't been able to work on it the last two days with this new case. So I need to buckle down and work on that this afternoon. Get as much done as possible so I'm not stuck with too much this weekend.
Good news is we have no social plans this weekend except a poker game Sunday night. At a friends house, not at a bar, so no temptations should exist. I should definitely be able to get in some exercise, and most importantly considering my emotional state - some sleep. I WILL be sleeping in tomorrow, and loving every minute of it.
That's about it - ah the life of a lawyer-bride. :-)
Monday, May 5, 2008
Who knew family would be such a bad influence...
220.2 - yes, that's right. I'm VERY high today...
MONDAY
Wow, what a weekend. I've been out of town for 4 days and the scale is showing it. Bad scale. Ok, bad Cindy. Thursday I left for sunny Panama City Beach to meet up with my dad, his girlfriend, his girlfriend's 20 y/o son, my brother and my brother's wife for Thunder Beach - Panama City's version of bike week. It's basically where thousands of motorcycles convene to ride together, drink together, celebrate the coolness of bikes. My dad and brother have several bikes and brought down 4 of them in a trailer for us to ride. My dad didn't ride much, but my brother & I did a lot of riding on Friday and Saturday. It was really fun. I got my license about 10 years ago, and don't get to ride much. I've always wanted to buy a harley, but have never been able to justify the cost.
So Thursday night I left out of here about 2:00 and got to PCB around 7:00. I met up with my the family for a bit then went out for my first ride with Joey. I generally have a rule that I will not drink anything if I'm riding a motorcycle. It's just too dangerous. So, I easily passed on the alcohol at the first bar. Then we went to a german bar that had it's own beer and I gave in and tasted all 4 of their home brews. I probably swallowed a total of 1/2 a beer, so I wasn't worried about riding. I did kill the great 18 day no-drinking streak, though. Oh well - I never said I'd stay sober forever.
Friday and Saturday we did a bunch of riding and of course eating. The problem I have with my family is that food is always a focus. My father and brother are both significantly overweight. I was raised in a family where eating was a hobby. So, we did a lot of eating. And of course I didn't bring my laptop, so I wasn't entering anything in spark people. I have no idea the damage, but as you can see on the scale, it was large.
Also, contributing to the scale is the alcohol. After I killed my streak on Thursday night Friday and Saturday night we went out and played some pool and drank some beer. By some, I mean more than 5 beers each night. Ahh. Off the wagon...
Sunday morning I left out early because I had dinner plans back home. I have a friend who was just diagnosed with cancer and starts his chemo therapy today. He wanted to go out last night and have some fun before the stress and physical issues associated with chemo start.
So unfortunatly I had the horrible mentality that causes so many dieters to fail. I knew I'd killed my drinking streak. I knew I'd eaten badly for 4 days straight, so I figured - hell - why not finish it off with a bang and start being good "tomorrow". So, we ate and drank. and drank. and drank. It was really fun, though. Jimbo, my friend with cancer, wanted to play poker, so after dinner we went to a new bar that just started hosting poker games. It was great because Jimbo won the tournament of about 35 players. I also got 4th, so we got to play for a long time. It was really nice so see him have a good time and not think about all the bad stuff going on in his life right now.
So, here we are Monday morning. I've drank alcohol the last 4 nights. I have not exercised. I ate horribly. And I wrote nothing down. Thus, the scale is in the very scary 220's again. Granted. I know I can't gain 6 lbs in 4 days, so I know it will go back down to some extent tomorrow if I'm good today and hydrate. But it's sad how quickly all the hard work disappears.
These things happen though. There are going to be stumbling blocks. I'm also going to recover. I didn't get a work out in this morning, as I was obviously tired from being out way too late. And I don't know if I'll get one in tonight. But I do know that I will be journaling everything that I put in my mouth. I will be chugging water, starting when I hit post here. And I will not be consuming any alcohol tonight at y-knots, where we plan to meet up with Jimbo again and see how the first day went. It's a step up, back on the wagon. I can continue to make this work. I know I won't see a loss this week, but hopefully I'll get the scale back down around 214 by next Thursday. I have not more travel plans for a bit, so I shouldn't be too tempted.
Here's to starting again, and taking it one day at a time...again.
MONDAY
Wow, what a weekend. I've been out of town for 4 days and the scale is showing it. Bad scale. Ok, bad Cindy. Thursday I left for sunny Panama City Beach to meet up with my dad, his girlfriend, his girlfriend's 20 y/o son, my brother and my brother's wife for Thunder Beach - Panama City's version of bike week. It's basically where thousands of motorcycles convene to ride together, drink together, celebrate the coolness of bikes. My dad and brother have several bikes and brought down 4 of them in a trailer for us to ride. My dad didn't ride much, but my brother & I did a lot of riding on Friday and Saturday. It was really fun. I got my license about 10 years ago, and don't get to ride much. I've always wanted to buy a harley, but have never been able to justify the cost.
So Thursday night I left out of here about 2:00 and got to PCB around 7:00. I met up with my the family for a bit then went out for my first ride with Joey. I generally have a rule that I will not drink anything if I'm riding a motorcycle. It's just too dangerous. So, I easily passed on the alcohol at the first bar. Then we went to a german bar that had it's own beer and I gave in and tasted all 4 of their home brews. I probably swallowed a total of 1/2 a beer, so I wasn't worried about riding. I did kill the great 18 day no-drinking streak, though. Oh well - I never said I'd stay sober forever.
Friday and Saturday we did a bunch of riding and of course eating. The problem I have with my family is that food is always a focus. My father and brother are both significantly overweight. I was raised in a family where eating was a hobby. So, we did a lot of eating. And of course I didn't bring my laptop, so I wasn't entering anything in spark people. I have no idea the damage, but as you can see on the scale, it was large.
Also, contributing to the scale is the alcohol. After I killed my streak on Thursday night Friday and Saturday night we went out and played some pool and drank some beer. By some, I mean more than 5 beers each night. Ahh. Off the wagon...
Sunday morning I left out early because I had dinner plans back home. I have a friend who was just diagnosed with cancer and starts his chemo therapy today. He wanted to go out last night and have some fun before the stress and physical issues associated with chemo start.
So unfortunatly I had the horrible mentality that causes so many dieters to fail. I knew I'd killed my drinking streak. I knew I'd eaten badly for 4 days straight, so I figured - hell - why not finish it off with a bang and start being good "tomorrow". So, we ate and drank. and drank. and drank. It was really fun, though. Jimbo, my friend with cancer, wanted to play poker, so after dinner we went to a new bar that just started hosting poker games. It was great because Jimbo won the tournament of about 35 players. I also got 4th, so we got to play for a long time. It was really nice so see him have a good time and not think about all the bad stuff going on in his life right now.
So, here we are Monday morning. I've drank alcohol the last 4 nights. I have not exercised. I ate horribly. And I wrote nothing down. Thus, the scale is in the very scary 220's again. Granted. I know I can't gain 6 lbs in 4 days, so I know it will go back down to some extent tomorrow if I'm good today and hydrate. But it's sad how quickly all the hard work disappears.
These things happen though. There are going to be stumbling blocks. I'm also going to recover. I didn't get a work out in this morning, as I was obviously tired from being out way too late. And I don't know if I'll get one in tonight. But I do know that I will be journaling everything that I put in my mouth. I will be chugging water, starting when I hit post here. And I will not be consuming any alcohol tonight at y-knots, where we plan to meet up with Jimbo again and see how the first day went. It's a step up, back on the wagon. I can continue to make this work. I know I won't see a loss this week, but hopefully I'll get the scale back down around 214 by next Thursday. I have not more travel plans for a bit, so I shouldn't be too tempted.
Here's to starting again, and taking it one day at a time...again.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Why do we sabotoge?
217.6
MONDAY
So, after my AMAZING weigh in on Thursday, what did I do? Proceed to eat and drink merrily for 3 days. What the hell? I have a co-worker who sits next to me at the office who's also doing weight watchers. She came in this morning and we compared notes. We both agree that one of our biggest struggles is that we totally self-sabotage when we have a good week/day/scale showing. Her's this week was a morning scale-hop - she saw a good number and then justified copious amounts of ice cream. Mine was my fabulous weigh in on Thursday justifying a stupid alcohol binge on Friday night. The worst part about it was that Erik & I had plans to go to the movies on Friday which, at worst, would have resulted in a popcorn binge. Instead, at the last minute, we decided to go to Y-Knots and drink too much. Well I, at least, drank too much. Which lead to 11:00 pm ordering of "pub rolls" these fabulously cheesy, chicken roll thingies that are, of course, deep fried and very good. I wasn't even HUNGRY but the alcohol ALWAYS has me craving food. Bad girl.
Saturday and Sunday were better but not perfect. I had a wonderfully productive weekend house-wise and got lots of boxes unpacked. But Saturday we did go to that movie and I did have that popcorn binge. Sunday after church we went to Ted's Montana Grill for Bison burgers and Mexican for dinner (dinner was Erik's idea, but did I object? NO!).
Oh - and have I logged all this craziness into Sparkpeople? Of course not.
SO - today has been declared another 1200 calorie day. I can DO this. I WILL have a light lunch. I WILL run 3 miles as SOON as I get home, and I WILL eat VERY little for dinner. I WILL. All is not lost. The scale reading today is about what it was last Wednesday before my kick butt day/work out that dropped it to the 215's. I can still recover before Thursday. But oh - how low would I be if this weekend never happened?
Eh - woulda, coulda, shoulda, right? Moving on...
MONDAY
So, after my AMAZING weigh in on Thursday, what did I do? Proceed to eat and drink merrily for 3 days. What the hell? I have a co-worker who sits next to me at the office who's also doing weight watchers. She came in this morning and we compared notes. We both agree that one of our biggest struggles is that we totally self-sabotage when we have a good week/day/scale showing. Her's this week was a morning scale-hop - she saw a good number and then justified copious amounts of ice cream. Mine was my fabulous weigh in on Thursday justifying a stupid alcohol binge on Friday night. The worst part about it was that Erik & I had plans to go to the movies on Friday which, at worst, would have resulted in a popcorn binge. Instead, at the last minute, we decided to go to Y-Knots and drink too much. Well I, at least, drank too much. Which lead to 11:00 pm ordering of "pub rolls" these fabulously cheesy, chicken roll thingies that are, of course, deep fried and very good. I wasn't even HUNGRY but the alcohol ALWAYS has me craving food. Bad girl.
Saturday and Sunday were better but not perfect. I had a wonderfully productive weekend house-wise and got lots of boxes unpacked. But Saturday we did go to that movie and I did have that popcorn binge. Sunday after church we went to Ted's Montana Grill for Bison burgers and Mexican for dinner (dinner was Erik's idea, but did I object? NO!).
Oh - and have I logged all this craziness into Sparkpeople? Of course not.
SO - today has been declared another 1200 calorie day. I can DO this. I WILL have a light lunch. I WILL run 3 miles as SOON as I get home, and I WILL eat VERY little for dinner. I WILL. All is not lost. The scale reading today is about what it was last Wednesday before my kick butt day/work out that dropped it to the 215's. I can still recover before Thursday. But oh - how low would I be if this weekend never happened?
Eh - woulda, coulda, shoulda, right? Moving on...
Monday, March 17, 2008
St. Patty's Day!
221.6
MONDAY
SO much has happened in the last week. - why don't I post more often?!? Oh yeah, cause I'm CRAZY busy with everything except work. Go figure.
Anyway, Wednesday I did, indeed, buy a dress. I ordered my fabulous wedding dress, and it will be here mid July. Yeah - time to totally get crackin on this weight loss stuff! Holly also ordered her bridesmaid dress, and I've instructed Gloria to get me measurements for hers. I think I've also decided on the junior bridesmaid dresses, but I'm still thinking on that.
Wedding invitations went out on Thursday morning. Or at least most of them. Erik is still getting me addresses for several people, and I dropped another 10 in the mail today, but for the most part they're out. People have started viewing our wedding website, which is exciting. One person (a very reliable guy) has already booked his room. yeah!
House is about 2/3rds of the way packed. We are living amongst boxes, people. And lots of them. We spent about 4 hours on Saturday and another 2 last night packing. We have maybe 3 or 4 more to go. Hopefully that will get done tomorrow. Erik's begged off a reprieve for tonight after our very productive weekend.
Closing is set for tomorrow, and according to my lender and realtor all is good. We do our final "walk-through" tonight at 7:00.
I had a weekend retreat for work last weekend that was wonderful information-wise, but I had WAAAY too much wine on Friday night. not a good thing since I was with co-workers. I absolutely hate that I did that. I don't "think" I did anything stupid, but there are fuzzy spots near the end of the night, that tells me I just don't know. No one said anything at the meetings on Saturday morning, but I hate that feeling of wondering if you said or did something stupid. Very bad. I'm actually really pissed at myself for this. I shouldn't get drunk ever, but it's relatively harmless when I'm with my fiance, or close friends. With work people it's completely inexcusable, even if they do provide you with unlimited liquor & wine in the hospitality suite...
So, understandably Saturday I was hung over and feeling crappy - and thus eating crappy. Sunday was Erik's son's birthday party at his mother's house (Erik's ex-wife). That went well considering, she's actually very civil to me to my face at least. Besides, she was too busy being pissed at Erik for getting Daniel there later than she preferred ("what's more important, Church or your son's birthday?"... huh?) Whatever.
Got a little sun burnt yesterday, but I could use it.
Today I'm super slow at work, again. I've asked for work and been told that it's "coming". Since it's slow, I signed up for a CLE (continuing legal education) class all day Wednesday in an area I'd like to work in (White Collar Crime). It's being co-hosted by one of the partners in my firm, so it's a good networking idea anyway.
Hopefully things will pick up later this week. I've got to get some projects to work on!
Tonight after our walk-through I think we're going out, but I AM NOT GOING TO DRINK. Ok, I've said it in all caps so I have to follow through, right? I could probably lose 20 lbs b/w now and the wedding just by cutting out alcohol. Why is that so hard?
MONDAY
SO much has happened in the last week. - why don't I post more often?!? Oh yeah, cause I'm CRAZY busy with everything except work. Go figure.
Anyway, Wednesday I did, indeed, buy a dress. I ordered my fabulous wedding dress, and it will be here mid July. Yeah - time to totally get crackin on this weight loss stuff! Holly also ordered her bridesmaid dress, and I've instructed Gloria to get me measurements for hers. I think I've also decided on the junior bridesmaid dresses, but I'm still thinking on that.
Wedding invitations went out on Thursday morning. Or at least most of them. Erik is still getting me addresses for several people, and I dropped another 10 in the mail today, but for the most part they're out. People have started viewing our wedding website, which is exciting. One person (a very reliable guy) has already booked his room. yeah!
House is about 2/3rds of the way packed. We are living amongst boxes, people. And lots of them. We spent about 4 hours on Saturday and another 2 last night packing. We have maybe 3 or 4 more to go. Hopefully that will get done tomorrow. Erik's begged off a reprieve for tonight after our very productive weekend.
Closing is set for tomorrow, and according to my lender and realtor all is good. We do our final "walk-through" tonight at 7:00.
I had a weekend retreat for work last weekend that was wonderful information-wise, but I had WAAAY too much wine on Friday night. not a good thing since I was with co-workers. I absolutely hate that I did that. I don't "think" I did anything stupid, but there are fuzzy spots near the end of the night, that tells me I just don't know. No one said anything at the meetings on Saturday morning, but I hate that feeling of wondering if you said or did something stupid. Very bad. I'm actually really pissed at myself for this. I shouldn't get drunk ever, but it's relatively harmless when I'm with my fiance, or close friends. With work people it's completely inexcusable, even if they do provide you with unlimited liquor & wine in the hospitality suite...
So, understandably Saturday I was hung over and feeling crappy - and thus eating crappy. Sunday was Erik's son's birthday party at his mother's house (Erik's ex-wife). That went well considering, she's actually very civil to me to my face at least. Besides, she was too busy being pissed at Erik for getting Daniel there later than she preferred ("what's more important, Church or your son's birthday?"... huh?) Whatever.
Got a little sun burnt yesterday, but I could use it.
Today I'm super slow at work, again. I've asked for work and been told that it's "coming". Since it's slow, I signed up for a CLE (continuing legal education) class all day Wednesday in an area I'd like to work in (White Collar Crime). It's being co-hosted by one of the partners in my firm, so it's a good networking idea anyway.
Hopefully things will pick up later this week. I've got to get some projects to work on!
Tonight after our walk-through I think we're going out, but I AM NOT GOING TO DRINK. Ok, I've said it in all caps so I have to follow through, right? I could probably lose 20 lbs b/w now and the wedding just by cutting out alcohol. Why is that so hard?
Friday, February 22, 2008
Been away for a bit
No weights.
FRIDAY
Ok, I just don't feel like posting weights. Not happy with how things are going, and as expected, only myself to blame. I've not been horrible, but I've been "maintaining" since I had one good week after getting engaged. That's NOT going to get me into the wedding dress size I want.
I'm starting to think it's hopeless, that I'm destined to be around 220 for the rest of my life. Hopefully no more. It seems like my "efforts" only serve to keep me from gaining anymore, which certainly is a good thing, but I can't seem to stick to it for more than a day or two in a row. What gives?
I keep thinking back to those first few months on WW. I first started when I was an intern at a law firm between my 2nd and 3rd years in law school. I continued on through my first semester of my 3rd year, all the way to goal and lifetime. It took 6 months to go from 208 to 167. Now I'm at 220, and can't seem to MOVE. I don't know what's wrong. I've done all the things they say - recommit, do what you used to do, treat it like the first time, etc. But for whatever reason, I can't. I find excuses. Why was it so easy back then? Why was I able to make the "tough" choices every day, day in and day out?
Now that was in 2001, so I know my metabolism may have slowed a bit, turning 30 and all, but that really doesn't explain this. That's really just a cop out.
I don't have the answer. I feel like I've tried everything. Today is just a really tough day. I went shopping with Holly today at Dillards. They're having a big shoe sale and she wanted to go. While I was there, I walked through the misses department. This is such a tough time for me shopping-wise because I'm a 16. Now that is possibly the worst size to be shopping-wise. It's the top of the "regular" clothes and the bottom of the "plus-size" clothes. Translation - they never have my size. In the women's section, they always have 18W and bigger. In the missus section, I'm lucky to find a 14. In all the styles I looked at today I found 2 16's on the whole 2nd floor. No I didn't look at every rack, but I looked at a lot. So frustrating. One didn't fit, and the other (a white dress) made me look like a ginormous 50's house-wife. Not good.
So I left there trying to explain to the oh-so-skinny, I can wear anything, Holly, why I hate shopping. She doesn't get it, though she tries to be sympathetic.
That's the other thing. She's my matron of honor, and has been pressuring me to go wedding dress shopping for a month and made me commit to tomorrow. I'm totally dreading it. I know I will hate the way I look in any of them. I also know that I can't put it off forever and it doesn't look like I'm losing the weight as planned. Shocker. I really don't want to do it. I'm so excited about the wedding but really feel self conscious about the whole thing. I'd love to be where I was in law school when I felt so confident at 167 - a solid size 10, tall, thin. I let it all go and then some though. I really didn't appreciate it enough.
Grrr.
So this became a rant blog. You can see, now, why it's been almost 2 weeks since I've been on. No good progress to report. That said, I still need to do this. It's theraputic in many ways, even when I'm off track.
FRIDAY
Ok, I just don't feel like posting weights. Not happy with how things are going, and as expected, only myself to blame. I've not been horrible, but I've been "maintaining" since I had one good week after getting engaged. That's NOT going to get me into the wedding dress size I want.
I'm starting to think it's hopeless, that I'm destined to be around 220 for the rest of my life. Hopefully no more. It seems like my "efforts" only serve to keep me from gaining anymore, which certainly is a good thing, but I can't seem to stick to it for more than a day or two in a row. What gives?
I keep thinking back to those first few months on WW. I first started when I was an intern at a law firm between my 2nd and 3rd years in law school. I continued on through my first semester of my 3rd year, all the way to goal and lifetime. It took 6 months to go from 208 to 167. Now I'm at 220, and can't seem to MOVE. I don't know what's wrong. I've done all the things they say - recommit, do what you used to do, treat it like the first time, etc. But for whatever reason, I can't. I find excuses. Why was it so easy back then? Why was I able to make the "tough" choices every day, day in and day out?
Now that was in 2001, so I know my metabolism may have slowed a bit, turning 30 and all, but that really doesn't explain this. That's really just a cop out.
I don't have the answer. I feel like I've tried everything. Today is just a really tough day. I went shopping with Holly today at Dillards. They're having a big shoe sale and she wanted to go. While I was there, I walked through the misses department. This is such a tough time for me shopping-wise because I'm a 16. Now that is possibly the worst size to be shopping-wise. It's the top of the "regular" clothes and the bottom of the "plus-size" clothes. Translation - they never have my size. In the women's section, they always have 18W and bigger. In the missus section, I'm lucky to find a 14. In all the styles I looked at today I found 2 16's on the whole 2nd floor. No I didn't look at every rack, but I looked at a lot. So frustrating. One didn't fit, and the other (a white dress) made me look like a ginormous 50's house-wife. Not good.
So I left there trying to explain to the oh-so-skinny, I can wear anything, Holly, why I hate shopping. She doesn't get it, though she tries to be sympathetic.
That's the other thing. She's my matron of honor, and has been pressuring me to go wedding dress shopping for a month and made me commit to tomorrow. I'm totally dreading it. I know I will hate the way I look in any of them. I also know that I can't put it off forever and it doesn't look like I'm losing the weight as planned. Shocker. I really don't want to do it. I'm so excited about the wedding but really feel self conscious about the whole thing. I'd love to be where I was in law school when I felt so confident at 167 - a solid size 10, tall, thin. I let it all go and then some though. I really didn't appreciate it enough.
Grrr.
So this became a rant blog. You can see, now, why it's been almost 2 weeks since I've been on. No good progress to report. That said, I still need to do this. It's theraputic in many ways, even when I'm off track.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Screw You Scale
Last WI: 224.8/Morning WI: 224.8
Thursday.
Ok. Now I'm just pissed. And hurt and depressed. What the hell. So yesterday I didn't follow my plan 100%, but enough not to deserve this. I ended up staying at work till 7:30. Went home - chugged like a million ounces of water, and went to bed. I was asleep before 11:00. No I didn't hit the treadmill, but NO I didn't eat dinner either. I only started to feel the tiniest bit hungry about 8:30 pm and said - nope. I will not eat again today. I've probably hit my points with that evil sushi buffet, and I need to see a good number on the scale tomorrow. So I went to bed, having last eating about 2:00 pm.
This morning (after getting up no less than 3 times last night to pee - thanks million ounces of water) I jumped on the scale and saw 224.8. What? 3.2 lb gain? Are you freaking kidding me? This is the number I've vowed to record on all my stupid websites and databases? Ok. So I just don't get it. No, I wasn't perfect this week, but I did TRY. More than I've done in over a month. I ran 2 times (again more than over a month). I tracked everything I ate on WW e-tools - even when I went over. And shit - I didn't eat for over 17 hours before WI! WTF? Now when I get sick and don't eat for 17 hours the scale plummets (then rebounds once I start eating). But hell, I didn't even care if it was a "fake" number this morning, so long as it wasn't a 3.2 lb gain! I'm so mad and sad and disappointed and confused.
I feel like the scale just laughs at me as it climbs to nearly new heights. Now my stupid ticker at the top looks like I just started this journey. Oh boy do I wish I had just started this journey. Every day this week the scale creeped up, laughing the whole way....222, ha ha, 223, ha ha ha, 224, ha ha ha ha. Oh - you don't like 224.8? No I didn't, so what did I do - brushed my teeth and then re-hopped. HA HA HA - 225.4. Fine. I'll take 224.8. WTF. Maybe my scale's messed up? That would be too much to hope for.
I've said it a million ways, and I'll say it again. I don't get it. I just don't get it. I didn't expect this fabulous loss - I mean come on, I wasn't perfect. But I didn't expect a "fabulous" gain either.
So - the question remains. What am I going to do about it. Well, a big part of me wants to say FUCK YOU SCALE and just eat whatever I want. Gorge on pizza hut and McDonalds. Say so what if I'm 300 lbs next year. So what.
But I know that won't make me happy either. As I noted yesterday, I am over weight, but I'm not horribly unhealthy. At 300 lbs I'd be horribly unhealthy.
So, I'll try again. I had my stupid 3 pt weight watcher muffin for breakfast. I've packed some snacks (including that apple and orange I so proudly DIDN'T eat yesterday). And I'll try to get through another day. Sad, disappointed and depressed. But I'll get through.
I'll count my blessings, and be happy for a life that, with the exception of weight struggles, is pretty darn good - good job, good family, good man. Stop complaining and keep trying.
Sadly. Disappointedly. We'll leave it at that. Oh - and no sushi buffet...for a long while.
Thursday.
Ok. Now I'm just pissed. And hurt and depressed. What the hell. So yesterday I didn't follow my plan 100%, but enough not to deserve this. I ended up staying at work till 7:30. Went home - chugged like a million ounces of water, and went to bed. I was asleep before 11:00. No I didn't hit the treadmill, but NO I didn't eat dinner either. I only started to feel the tiniest bit hungry about 8:30 pm and said - nope. I will not eat again today. I've probably hit my points with that evil sushi buffet, and I need to see a good number on the scale tomorrow. So I went to bed, having last eating about 2:00 pm.
This morning (after getting up no less than 3 times last night to pee - thanks million ounces of water) I jumped on the scale and saw 224.8. What? 3.2 lb gain? Are you freaking kidding me? This is the number I've vowed to record on all my stupid websites and databases? Ok. So I just don't get it. No, I wasn't perfect this week, but I did TRY. More than I've done in over a month. I ran 2 times (again more than over a month). I tracked everything I ate on WW e-tools - even when I went over. And shit - I didn't eat for over 17 hours before WI! WTF? Now when I get sick and don't eat for 17 hours the scale plummets (then rebounds once I start eating). But hell, I didn't even care if it was a "fake" number this morning, so long as it wasn't a 3.2 lb gain! I'm so mad and sad and disappointed and confused.
I feel like the scale just laughs at me as it climbs to nearly new heights. Now my stupid ticker at the top looks like I just started this journey. Oh boy do I wish I had just started this journey. Every day this week the scale creeped up, laughing the whole way....222, ha ha, 223, ha ha ha, 224, ha ha ha ha. Oh - you don't like 224.8? No I didn't, so what did I do - brushed my teeth and then re-hopped. HA HA HA - 225.4. Fine. I'll take 224.8. WTF. Maybe my scale's messed up? That would be too much to hope for.
I've said it a million ways, and I'll say it again. I don't get it. I just don't get it. I didn't expect this fabulous loss - I mean come on, I wasn't perfect. But I didn't expect a "fabulous" gain either.
So - the question remains. What am I going to do about it. Well, a big part of me wants to say FUCK YOU SCALE and just eat whatever I want. Gorge on pizza hut and McDonalds. Say so what if I'm 300 lbs next year. So what.
But I know that won't make me happy either. As I noted yesterday, I am over weight, but I'm not horribly unhealthy. At 300 lbs I'd be horribly unhealthy.
So, I'll try again. I had my stupid 3 pt weight watcher muffin for breakfast. I've packed some snacks (including that apple and orange I so proudly DIDN'T eat yesterday). And I'll try to get through another day. Sad, disappointed and depressed. But I'll get through.
I'll count my blessings, and be happy for a life that, with the exception of weight struggles, is pretty darn good - good job, good family, good man. Stop complaining and keep trying.
Sadly. Disappointedly. We'll leave it at that. Oh - and no sushi buffet...for a long while.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Why are some days so much tougher than others?
Last WI: 222.2/At Home WI: 220.8
Tuesday
Yesterday, I couldn't stop eating. Couldn't stop. I was "hungry" all day. Though I'm sure it wasn't true hunger but craving issues. I did count every last damned point, which put me way over for the week. And I did get on the treadmill when I finally got home last night at 8:30 pm and did 1.5 miles. Not a marathon, but every bit helps these days. And I did go to bed without eating anymore, but boy did I do it up all day. Lots of little snacks. And (only!) one glass of wine at the holiday party. Sheesh.
Well, a new day, as they say. I did better for lunch. I didn't do my normal chick-fil-a drive through so I think it'll sustain me longer. Plus I have a huge meeting all day today that I'm about to leave for. We'll break for lunch, but hopefully this will keep me from grazing all day.
Other than that, not much to report. I'm still hoping for a loss this week. And I plan to hit the treadmill again tonight. But that's about it. Working this day to day I guess..
Tuesday
Yesterday, I couldn't stop eating. Couldn't stop. I was "hungry" all day. Though I'm sure it wasn't true hunger but craving issues. I did count every last damned point, which put me way over for the week. And I did get on the treadmill when I finally got home last night at 8:30 pm and did 1.5 miles. Not a marathon, but every bit helps these days. And I did go to bed without eating anymore, but boy did I do it up all day. Lots of little snacks. And (only!) one glass of wine at the holiday party. Sheesh.
Well, a new day, as they say. I did better for lunch. I didn't do my normal chick-fil-a drive through so I think it'll sustain me longer. Plus I have a huge meeting all day today that I'm about to leave for. We'll break for lunch, but hopefully this will keep me from grazing all day.
Other than that, not much to report. I'm still hoping for a loss this week. And I plan to hit the treadmill again tonight. But that's about it. Working this day to day I guess..
Thursday, December 6, 2007
New Job, New Committment - is it December already?
Last WI (today) 222.2 (UGH)/At Home WI: 220.8
THURSAY
Ok, so I took a month off. Grrr. Lot's has happened in the last month. I started a new job, my best friend got married, I visited family, I got super sick (still getting over it). Now I'm up to 222 on the WW scale and have a LOT of work to do. BUT there's no time to start like the present, so here I go.
I did have one other great thing happen over the last month. I got a treadmill! My dad, who's something of an odd entrepreneur, went to an auction for a fitness center and randomly bought all the equipment. So when we went to see him for Thanksgiving, Erik and I borrowed a truck (from his ex-wife - weird) and picked me up a treadmill. NO MORE EXCUSES! So, we got it home and I used it three times, then got horribly sick. Like hacking up a lung sick. So now, I'm still coughin a little, but have vowed that tonight I will get back on that treadmill.
Today I also had WI. Since I started this job, I decided I wouldn't be able to make my old meeting anymore, I just don't get out of work in time. But - the good news is that my new firm has a WW at work program. And, if you lose 10 lbs in a session, they pay for half. Cool huh? The WI's are every Thursday right in the building at lunch. So I joined. Then came thanksgiving, and my illness, so it's been 3 weeks since my last WI. I only gained 1.2 but I hadn't exactly made great progress in the 1 week since I started here. So, bottom line is that I'm up .6 from when I started. But I can't look at it that way. I have to commit to this week. I really haven't done anything WW-ish in over a month so I can't complain. So today I logged onto WW.com and logged my food. I went shopping yesterday and stocked up on good choices. I made a plan to run on the treadmill tonight and to have a great week to kick things off. If I truly tracked and exercised for a whole week, I'd probably lose 3+ pounds. I haven't done that perfectly in years. I don't know why. I know it works, but I just can't commit.
But there are no food or drink oriented plans this weekend. I am totally free to be PERFECT. The good news is with the new job I haven't been going out during the week as much. The bad news is that I'm sitting at a desk for 10+ hours and totally get the munchies. I'm working toward solving that, though and today brought a number of low point snacks to have in my drawer if the urge arises.
SO - heres the stats so far:
Breakfast - chik-fil-a breakfast burrito (9pts)
Lunch - Ceasar salad, lean cuisine entree, broccoli, roasted potatos (10 pts).
Snack - hostess 100 calorie cakes (1 pt - yes, 1 pt b/c they have 5 grams of fiber)
That leaves me with 9 pts left for the day.
Oh and I have a new theory on exercise. I've been very bad in the past about eating my APs before I earn them. Like on a day like today when I plan to run tonight, I'd say - oh I'll earn at least 4 APs so I'll eat them now. Then I wouldn't do the work out and end up in the negative anyway. So now, I'm only allowed to eat the APs from the day before if at all. That way if I work out at night I won't feel like I'm being jipped if I don't want to eat them that night (often I work out at 8:00 or later) and I won't be cheating and eating them early and then not even earning them. So - day after APs plan in ON. If I earn 4 APs tonight - all the better for tomorrow!
Time to execute!
THURSAY
Ok, so I took a month off. Grrr. Lot's has happened in the last month. I started a new job, my best friend got married, I visited family, I got super sick (still getting over it). Now I'm up to 222 on the WW scale and have a LOT of work to do. BUT there's no time to start like the present, so here I go.
I did have one other great thing happen over the last month. I got a treadmill! My dad, who's something of an odd entrepreneur, went to an auction for a fitness center and randomly bought all the equipment. So when we went to see him for Thanksgiving, Erik and I borrowed a truck (from his ex-wife - weird) and picked me up a treadmill. NO MORE EXCUSES! So, we got it home and I used it three times, then got horribly sick. Like hacking up a lung sick. So now, I'm still coughin a little, but have vowed that tonight I will get back on that treadmill.
Today I also had WI. Since I started this job, I decided I wouldn't be able to make my old meeting anymore, I just don't get out of work in time. But - the good news is that my new firm has a WW at work program. And, if you lose 10 lbs in a session, they pay for half. Cool huh? The WI's are every Thursday right in the building at lunch. So I joined. Then came thanksgiving, and my illness, so it's been 3 weeks since my last WI. I only gained 1.2 but I hadn't exactly made great progress in the 1 week since I started here. So, bottom line is that I'm up .6 from when I started. But I can't look at it that way. I have to commit to this week. I really haven't done anything WW-ish in over a month so I can't complain. So today I logged onto WW.com and logged my food. I went shopping yesterday and stocked up on good choices. I made a plan to run on the treadmill tonight and to have a great week to kick things off. If I truly tracked and exercised for a whole week, I'd probably lose 3+ pounds. I haven't done that perfectly in years. I don't know why. I know it works, but I just can't commit.
But there are no food or drink oriented plans this weekend. I am totally free to be PERFECT. The good news is with the new job I haven't been going out during the week as much. The bad news is that I'm sitting at a desk for 10+ hours and totally get the munchies. I'm working toward solving that, though and today brought a number of low point snacks to have in my drawer if the urge arises.
SO - heres the stats so far:
Breakfast - chik-fil-a breakfast burrito (9pts)
Lunch - Ceasar salad, lean cuisine entree, broccoli, roasted potatos (10 pts).
Snack - hostess 100 calorie cakes (1 pt - yes, 1 pt b/c they have 5 grams of fiber)
That leaves me with 9 pts left for the day.
Oh and I have a new theory on exercise. I've been very bad in the past about eating my APs before I earn them. Like on a day like today when I plan to run tonight, I'd say - oh I'll earn at least 4 APs so I'll eat them now. Then I wouldn't do the work out and end up in the negative anyway. So now, I'm only allowed to eat the APs from the day before if at all. That way if I work out at night I won't feel like I'm being jipped if I don't want to eat them that night (often I work out at 8:00 or later) and I won't be cheating and eating them early and then not even earning them. So - day after APs plan in ON. If I earn 4 APs tonight - all the better for tomorrow!
Time to execute!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
New Job Starts Monday
Last WI: 216.8 (today)/At Home WI: 218.2
THURSDAY
Well I drug myself back to a meeting today. I've been slacking still. Now it's November, and I've got got get it in gear. I start my new job Monday and have spent the week getting ready from getting my hair cut and colored, to updating my wardrobe. Good thing I'm getting a raise so I can pay for all of this.
I still haven't been able to get focused WW-wise or exercise wise. I've been off all week and haven't been to the gym once. Not good. We were out of town last weekend in biloxi gambling, and I totally overindulged on everything. I've gotten a bit back in line since getting home, but still not tracking fully and not yet exercising. I did get some good news though - looks like I'm getting a treadmill for thanksgiving. My dad got one from an auction recently and is going to give it to me. I'm very excited. No excuses for not exercising over the winter!
Anyway - I'm excited about the new job. I'm not going to put too much pressure on myself to be perfect WW-wise for the next week or so, I'm just going to try to make good choices and lose if possible, but at worst maintain. I need to figure things out with this job priority one.
Just wanted to update!
THURSDAY
Well I drug myself back to a meeting today. I've been slacking still. Now it's November, and I've got got get it in gear. I start my new job Monday and have spent the week getting ready from getting my hair cut and colored, to updating my wardrobe. Good thing I'm getting a raise so I can pay for all of this.
I still haven't been able to get focused WW-wise or exercise wise. I've been off all week and haven't been to the gym once. Not good. We were out of town last weekend in biloxi gambling, and I totally overindulged on everything. I've gotten a bit back in line since getting home, but still not tracking fully and not yet exercising. I did get some good news though - looks like I'm getting a treadmill for thanksgiving. My dad got one from an auction recently and is going to give it to me. I'm very excited. No excuses for not exercising over the winter!
Anyway - I'm excited about the new job. I'm not going to put too much pressure on myself to be perfect WW-wise for the next week or so, I'm just going to try to make good choices and lose if possible, but at worst maintain. I need to figure things out with this job priority one.
Just wanted to update!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Ok, maybe now?
Last WI: 215.4/At Home WI: 218.8 (Ugh)
MONDAY
Ok, so I'm 30. THIRTY. Very depressing. I turned 30 on Friday and celebrated all weekend. Obviously not eating on program during all of that. Booo. Got to work this morning to find my ENTIRE office decorated in black balloons, streamers and "30" signs. Funny, but a little sad. I took friday off for the birthday and they decorated while I was gone. Oh well. It was sweet they were thinking of me.
So now I've got to get things together. My bridesmaid dress came in and I haven't tried it on yet. I'm scared. I'm down from when I originally ordered it, but not as much as I was. I totally need to get it together. A little over 1 month till the wedding!
Anyway, I've had a great week or so with birthday stuff, now I'm in my last week before I start my new job in Atlanta. Erik and I are going to Biloxi this weekend to celebrate. Oh - when will I get my butt in gear food-wise? I've got to just do it.
Babbling - nothing coherent - trying to refocus...
MONDAY
Ok, so I'm 30. THIRTY. Very depressing. I turned 30 on Friday and celebrated all weekend. Obviously not eating on program during all of that. Booo. Got to work this morning to find my ENTIRE office decorated in black balloons, streamers and "30" signs. Funny, but a little sad. I took friday off for the birthday and they decorated while I was gone. Oh well. It was sweet they were thinking of me.
So now I've got to get things together. My bridesmaid dress came in and I haven't tried it on yet. I'm scared. I'm down from when I originally ordered it, but not as much as I was. I totally need to get it together. A little over 1 month till the wedding!
Anyway, I've had a great week or so with birthday stuff, now I'm in my last week before I start my new job in Atlanta. Erik and I are going to Biloxi this weekend to celebrate. Oh - when will I get my butt in gear food-wise? I've got to just do it.
Babbling - nothing coherent - trying to refocus...
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Sabotage, Sabotage
Last WI: 214.6/At Home WI: 214.6 (better, but not good).
THURSDAY
Well it's Thursday - WI day - and I have mixed emotions. I woke up yesterday to 216+ on the scale and really felt my week was over. Part of that high number was the beers I had the night before, but it was also a good part legitimate bad eating. I planned to have a perfect day yesterday. It started off right with my balance bar for breakfast but when I got to work, Holly was waiting for me. She works with me, but usually in a different office. She had to come by our office for something so we caught up and gossiped for a while. She ended up staying till after 11:00 and wanted to go to lunch. Now this is the bride I described before - eats EVERYTHING and will be wearing a size 2 wedding dress. Yes 2. So she of course wanted to go to Slices - a great pizza place down the road. I had planned on subway for my "perfect day" but gave in (surprise surprise). I did only have 1 slice of pizza - it's one of those places that have huge slices - and she had two (bitch). :-)
Obviously the scale is down this morning, though frankly I'm surprised. I was late getting out of work and had agreed to volunteer at the fair again last night. So I picked up McDonald's for dinner - very healthy. Then after a few hours at the fair I agreed to let Erik get me a hot dog - didn't need it. And finally, instead of going to the gym when my shift ended at 8:30 I went home. And had a glass of wine. Oh the good choices abound.
So this week has sucked. It's so common for me to have like 4-6 weeks of going great and then sabotage. I know I'll see a gain if I go to WI today. I'm thinking about not going. Now I know they always say you should "face the music" and WI anyway. But I hate seeing the gain. I don't know. I haven't decided. I think part of it will depend on scheduling. I've got an appointment out of the office at 3:00 to meet with a witness (named Pig - charming huh?). If I get done with that appointment in time, I should be able to go home, change cars and clothes and WI before I need to be at the fair at 5:45 (last night of volunteering). The good news is that for the 2nd week in a row I won't have my typical Thursday night after WI drinking binge due to the fair commitment. Any hot dog/fair food I eat could not be worse that consuming bar food and 10 beers.
So here's the plan. I've let myself go this week on both food and exercise. I'll forgive myself that. We all need a break now and then. I have got to recommit though. WI or no WI today I have got to make this coming week a good one. I'm back to a normal schedule with the exception of Saturday which will be crazy football day. Holly's an Alabama grad and I'm an FSU grad. Well, this year is the first year in a very long time that our teams play each other. So we got tickets. It's a game in Jacksonville so Holly, Dana, me and Erik are driving down Saturday for a 5:00 game and have to come back afterwards because Holly has to teach Sunday school in the morning. Will be a very long day with one of us very unhappy. But should be fun regardless. I'm looking forward to it. Tomorrow night we're celebrating Erik's birthday with friends. He turned 36 last Friday but had family in town, and then the fair, so we haven't really been able to celebrate. So I will be DD that night and he will be getting toasted I'm sure. That should be fun. And then Sunday we have a different poker league that has a game. Busy weekend, but with the exception of Saturday (game day!) I should be able to make some good food choices AND get some exercise in. That's the plan. Back on track. I've had my "vacation" from WW. Now I need to DO THIS. Not long till the wedding!
THURSDAY
Well it's Thursday - WI day - and I have mixed emotions. I woke up yesterday to 216+ on the scale and really felt my week was over. Part of that high number was the beers I had the night before, but it was also a good part legitimate bad eating. I planned to have a perfect day yesterday. It started off right with my balance bar for breakfast but when I got to work, Holly was waiting for me. She works with me, but usually in a different office. She had to come by our office for something so we caught up and gossiped for a while. She ended up staying till after 11:00 and wanted to go to lunch. Now this is the bride I described before - eats EVERYTHING and will be wearing a size 2 wedding dress. Yes 2. So she of course wanted to go to Slices - a great pizza place down the road. I had planned on subway for my "perfect day" but gave in (surprise surprise). I did only have 1 slice of pizza - it's one of those places that have huge slices - and she had two (bitch). :-)
Obviously the scale is down this morning, though frankly I'm surprised. I was late getting out of work and had agreed to volunteer at the fair again last night. So I picked up McDonald's for dinner - very healthy. Then after a few hours at the fair I agreed to let Erik get me a hot dog - didn't need it. And finally, instead of going to the gym when my shift ended at 8:30 I went home. And had a glass of wine. Oh the good choices abound.
So this week has sucked. It's so common for me to have like 4-6 weeks of going great and then sabotage. I know I'll see a gain if I go to WI today. I'm thinking about not going. Now I know they always say you should "face the music" and WI anyway. But I hate seeing the gain. I don't know. I haven't decided. I think part of it will depend on scheduling. I've got an appointment out of the office at 3:00 to meet with a witness (named Pig - charming huh?). If I get done with that appointment in time, I should be able to go home, change cars and clothes and WI before I need to be at the fair at 5:45 (last night of volunteering). The good news is that for the 2nd week in a row I won't have my typical Thursday night after WI drinking binge due to the fair commitment. Any hot dog/fair food I eat could not be worse that consuming bar food and 10 beers.
So here's the plan. I've let myself go this week on both food and exercise. I'll forgive myself that. We all need a break now and then. I have got to recommit though. WI or no WI today I have got to make this coming week a good one. I'm back to a normal schedule with the exception of Saturday which will be crazy football day. Holly's an Alabama grad and I'm an FSU grad. Well, this year is the first year in a very long time that our teams play each other. So we got tickets. It's a game in Jacksonville so Holly, Dana, me and Erik are driving down Saturday for a 5:00 game and have to come back afterwards because Holly has to teach Sunday school in the morning. Will be a very long day with one of us very unhappy. But should be fun regardless. I'm looking forward to it. Tomorrow night we're celebrating Erik's birthday with friends. He turned 36 last Friday but had family in town, and then the fair, so we haven't really been able to celebrate. So I will be DD that night and he will be getting toasted I'm sure. That should be fun. And then Sunday we have a different poker league that has a game. Busy weekend, but with the exception of Saturday (game day!) I should be able to make some good food choices AND get some exercise in. That's the plan. Back on track. I've had my "vacation" from WW. Now I need to DO THIS. Not long till the wedding!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Late Night McDonald's Run. :-(
Last WI: 218.6/At Home WI: 217.8
MONDAY
Well, the weekend was nice and "ok" food-wise. I left work Friday and got a good 2.5 mile run in. I say "good" because I did it. It was REALLY hard. I realized about mile 1.5 that my asthma was making life difficult. Which is really odd because I've had asthma for some 10 or so years, but it is not exercise induced so it only effects me when I'm exercising if it was already acting up before I began exercising. I guess I didn't notice it before I got on the treadmill because I really had to push by mile 2.5. My heart rate was over 175, and I was breathing really heavy even though I was going very slow for me. But I got through it and found my inhaler when I got home - all is good. Then I went out Friday night. Erik had Daniel so I was on my own. I went to YKnots for beer and poker.
I ate "ok" - had the pubrolls appitizer which is not necessarily a good choice, but was at least a small portion size. Then I had a bunch of beer. Boo. I did check myself before I left and was ok to drive (I have a pocket breathalizer) but I was there like 5 hours and should not have consumed that many empty calories via beer. Then the worst part - I made a late night McDonald's run. Booo!
Saturday I was a total bum. I didn't work out at all. I did go to the grocery store and stock the house with good choices. I also bought lots of fruit to restock my work fruit bowl. Then I went to play poker in the afternoon and evening, and was better. I had 4 beers in the afternoon but they were beck's premier light - 64 calories per beer. Only one point. That's mainly because it's reduced alcohol content. They're good but expensive. I can't afford to drink those all the time. Besides lots of places don't carry it.
Then Saturday night I went to a friends house for a home game. Did well, and just snacked a bit, but didn't really have dinner and got home at 2:00 am withOUT making a late night McDonald's run. So that was good.
Sunday I laid around all day except for the trip to the gym with Erik where I had an AMAZING 4 mile run. I mean it was crazy - my run from Friday and yesterday were like night and day. I started out slow to be sure I could get the whole 4 miles in, but about 2 miles in kicked it up a little because I was feeling so good. I got a little bored, but physically I felt great. After the 4 miles I totally felt like I could have done 2 more. I actually felt guilty because I didn't feel like I'd worked out that hard, even though 4 miles is more than I've done in months. Very weird. But I'll take it. Maybe I'm finally regaining my cardio endurance I had previously. That would be nice. One factor is that I totally hit the inhaler before I started to be sure I was cool asthma-wise. Maybe that's what I needed. It's a non-steroid inhaler so it shouldn't have "enhanced" me in the bad way - just helped clear my lungs. Anyway, whatever it was, I'm thankful for the good run. I hope they continue to go so well.
Today I woke up to see 217.8 on the scale which is the lowest I've seen since I recommitted at the beginning of the month. So that's good. I'm hoping to get the scale down to about 216 by Thursday, so I'll see 2lbs at WI. But frankly any WI under 217 will be good. So - work to do.
Plan for today - I'm going to try to get out of work early enough to hit the gym before our Monday poker night. I'm hosting it tonight and people will start to show up around 6:45 or so. So if I can get home before 5:00 I should be able to get some time in at the gym. Even though I feel fine from my run yesterday I'm going to give running a break since today's technically a "rest" day and just do some elliptical. I figure I traded Saturday for my rest day since I was a slacker then. Hopefully this plan will work. Barring no craziness at work...
MONDAY
Well, the weekend was nice and "ok" food-wise. I left work Friday and got a good 2.5 mile run in. I say "good" because I did it. It was REALLY hard. I realized about mile 1.5 that my asthma was making life difficult. Which is really odd because I've had asthma for some 10 or so years, but it is not exercise induced so it only effects me when I'm exercising if it was already acting up before I began exercising. I guess I didn't notice it before I got on the treadmill because I really had to push by mile 2.5. My heart rate was over 175, and I was breathing really heavy even though I was going very slow for me. But I got through it and found my inhaler when I got home - all is good. Then I went out Friday night. Erik had Daniel so I was on my own. I went to YKnots for beer and poker.
I ate "ok" - had the pubrolls appitizer which is not necessarily a good choice, but was at least a small portion size. Then I had a bunch of beer. Boo. I did check myself before I left and was ok to drive (I have a pocket breathalizer) but I was there like 5 hours and should not have consumed that many empty calories via beer. Then the worst part - I made a late night McDonald's run. Booo!
Saturday I was a total bum. I didn't work out at all. I did go to the grocery store and stock the house with good choices. I also bought lots of fruit to restock my work fruit bowl. Then I went to play poker in the afternoon and evening, and was better. I had 4 beers in the afternoon but they were beck's premier light - 64 calories per beer. Only one point. That's mainly because it's reduced alcohol content. They're good but expensive. I can't afford to drink those all the time. Besides lots of places don't carry it.
Then Saturday night I went to a friends house for a home game. Did well, and just snacked a bit, but didn't really have dinner and got home at 2:00 am withOUT making a late night McDonald's run. So that was good.
Sunday I laid around all day except for the trip to the gym with Erik where I had an AMAZING 4 mile run. I mean it was crazy - my run from Friday and yesterday were like night and day. I started out slow to be sure I could get the whole 4 miles in, but about 2 miles in kicked it up a little because I was feeling so good. I got a little bored, but physically I felt great. After the 4 miles I totally felt like I could have done 2 more. I actually felt guilty because I didn't feel like I'd worked out that hard, even though 4 miles is more than I've done in months. Very weird. But I'll take it. Maybe I'm finally regaining my cardio endurance I had previously. That would be nice. One factor is that I totally hit the inhaler before I started to be sure I was cool asthma-wise. Maybe that's what I needed. It's a non-steroid inhaler so it shouldn't have "enhanced" me in the bad way - just helped clear my lungs. Anyway, whatever it was, I'm thankful for the good run. I hope they continue to go so well.
Today I woke up to see 217.8 on the scale which is the lowest I've seen since I recommitted at the beginning of the month. So that's good. I'm hoping to get the scale down to about 216 by Thursday, so I'll see 2lbs at WI. But frankly any WI under 217 will be good. So - work to do.
Plan for today - I'm going to try to get out of work early enough to hit the gym before our Monday poker night. I'm hosting it tonight and people will start to show up around 6:45 or so. So if I can get home before 5:00 I should be able to get some time in at the gym. Even though I feel fine from my run yesterday I'm going to give running a break since today's technically a "rest" day and just do some elliptical. I figure I traded Saturday for my rest day since I was a slacker then. Hopefully this plan will work. Barring no craziness at work...
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Slight Binge with Wine and Beer.
Last WI: 222.4/At Home WI: 221.4 (to be expected)
Well, I didn't follow my plan yesterday. :-( I didn't make it to the gym for weight training after work as I got delayed a bit and had people showing up at the house at 6:30. I did make a good dinner consisting of a tuna sandwich and some light chips. I had 10 points left and used them all. I prepared the "snacks" for our guests and included some very good choices for me - broccoli with light dip and "light" tostitos (fat free) with salsa.
Unfortunately I also opened a bottle of wine. And by the end of the night had drank it all. :-* Plus two beers. :-( Plus snacked on the good food and the bad (spinach dip and cashews). All in all the day was great till the evening and my splurge wasn't totally over the top, like I've done in the past. But I'm still disappointed with myself. Today I need to get it back under control.
The good news is I won our poker game last night! :-) Woo hoo! It's been a while since I've posted a win and it felt good. The money isn't bad either. Now - to just learn to play poker withOUT alcohol...
So, I should be able to sneak out of work early today. I'm definitely going to the gym. I plan to run 3 miles, and hopefully kick in some elliptical or weight training to get in 10 APs. That's definitely on the high end but it helps after a splurge day to have a great AP day - sort of a la Wendie Plan.
Another factor is that Erik's highschool friend Kevin, whom I've never met, is coming in tonight to stay a couple days with us. I think he's moving to this area and needs a place to crash for a couple nights. Hopefully that won't mix up the food issues too much. I NEED to post a good loss this week for motivational reasons as well as the bridesmaid countdown. As of today I'm down about 1 lb. BUT I totally plan to kick that to over 2 by Thursday with today's extreme work out and another planned for tomorrow. I CAN do it. I haven't seen a 2 lb loss in AGES. Here we go!
Well, I didn't follow my plan yesterday. :-( I didn't make it to the gym for weight training after work as I got delayed a bit and had people showing up at the house at 6:30. I did make a good dinner consisting of a tuna sandwich and some light chips. I had 10 points left and used them all. I prepared the "snacks" for our guests and included some very good choices for me - broccoli with light dip and "light" tostitos (fat free) with salsa.
Unfortunately I also opened a bottle of wine. And by the end of the night had drank it all. :-* Plus two beers. :-( Plus snacked on the good food and the bad (spinach dip and cashews). All in all the day was great till the evening and my splurge wasn't totally over the top, like I've done in the past. But I'm still disappointed with myself. Today I need to get it back under control.
The good news is I won our poker game last night! :-) Woo hoo! It's been a while since I've posted a win and it felt good. The money isn't bad either. Now - to just learn to play poker withOUT alcohol...
So, I should be able to sneak out of work early today. I'm definitely going to the gym. I plan to run 3 miles, and hopefully kick in some elliptical or weight training to get in 10 APs. That's definitely on the high end but it helps after a splurge day to have a great AP day - sort of a la Wendie Plan.
Another factor is that Erik's highschool friend Kevin, whom I've never met, is coming in tonight to stay a couple days with us. I think he's moving to this area and needs a place to crash for a couple nights. Hopefully that won't mix up the food issues too much. I NEED to post a good loss this week for motivational reasons as well as the bridesmaid countdown. As of today I'm down about 1 lb. BUT I totally plan to kick that to over 2 by Thursday with today's extreme work out and another planned for tomorrow. I CAN do it. I haven't seen a 2 lb loss in AGES. Here we go!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Ok, so Back on the Wagon
Last WI: (3 weeks ago)/At Home WI: 218.6 (actually this is good..)
WEDNESDAY
Well, I fell off the wagon. For a WHILE. I climbed back on, and then fell off again. For another WHILE. But I'm back up on it and determined once again. I haven't weighed in for a couple weeks, so I won't post a WI number until after tomorrow when I officially face the music.
I won't go into the last 2 months, but the last couple weeks I've been really bad. I went to Michigan with Erik for his family vacation to stay with his partents for a week last week. It was lots of fun and very relaxing. We took his son up there and had a really good time. But I was HORRIBLE food-wise. I didn't eat healthy at all, and his dad - though a wonderful cook - is also a food pusher. I'm so weak that I accepted often. Not good. I also brought my running shoes and didn't run even once. :-(
We got back on Friday last week and the same day we flew in, my best friend from college flew in as well. Gloria is her name and she currently lives in Hawaii and is pursuing her doctorate in Psychology. She gets over to see me about once a year, so she's in town now for a week or so. So - my grand plans to get back OP after we got back got pushed back a few days as I had a very fun weekend with G. Ate too much though and definitely drank too much. I dropped her at her grandparents on Monday morning (they live close) and will pick her up again tomorrow for one more weekend of fun. So Monday I should have been good. But I wasn't. So yesterday was my recommitment day.
The only good I did this weekend was that I did make it to the gym on Sunday and ran almost 3 miles on the treadmill - ran 30 minutes and didn't quite make 3 miles. I went back yesterday evening and tried again and was only 15 sec's shy of doing the 3 miles in 30 mins. I plan to try again tonight.
My left knee was hurting a bit on both runs. Both times it began hurting about mile 1.5 or 2.0. I hope it's just "under use" and not some real injury. I'm going to try not to push it, but I do want to try to run 3-4 days a week from now on. Today I plan to run and probably won't be able to again until Saturday.
Well, after I got back from Michigan I got on the scale and Sat, Sun, and Mon, I saw 220's. Not good at all. So after my "perfect" day yesterday, today the scale read 218.6. So that's why I'm happy with that number. Even though it's a full 5 lbs higher than 2 months ago. I'm ok. I just have to keep plugin along.
I've started a new challenge on the WW board. A group of us is trying to lose 20 lbs in 20 weeks. They started July 1. I really started yesterday but am going to try to catch up. The challenge runs us almost up to Thanksgiving, the day I'm going to *try* to run the Atlanta half marathon, so I really think this will be good. I think WI tomorrow will be something close to 220, hopefully 218, but if I can lose 20 lbs by thanksgiving, I'll be on ONEDERLAND which I haven't seen in a very long time.
That's the plan!
Today I'm leaving work around 4:30. I'm going to go home, change, hit the gym, and then hang out with Erik tonight. I've got 10 more points left for the day, not counting any I earn at the gym, so I should be good for a second "perfect" day. :0)
WEDNESDAY
Well, I fell off the wagon. For a WHILE. I climbed back on, and then fell off again. For another WHILE. But I'm back up on it and determined once again. I haven't weighed in for a couple weeks, so I won't post a WI number until after tomorrow when I officially face the music.
I won't go into the last 2 months, but the last couple weeks I've been really bad. I went to Michigan with Erik for his family vacation to stay with his partents for a week last week. It was lots of fun and very relaxing. We took his son up there and had a really good time. But I was HORRIBLE food-wise. I didn't eat healthy at all, and his dad - though a wonderful cook - is also a food pusher. I'm so weak that I accepted often. Not good. I also brought my running shoes and didn't run even once. :-(
We got back on Friday last week and the same day we flew in, my best friend from college flew in as well. Gloria is her name and she currently lives in Hawaii and is pursuing her doctorate in Psychology. She gets over to see me about once a year, so she's in town now for a week or so. So - my grand plans to get back OP after we got back got pushed back a few days as I had a very fun weekend with G. Ate too much though and definitely drank too much. I dropped her at her grandparents on Monday morning (they live close) and will pick her up again tomorrow for one more weekend of fun. So Monday I should have been good. But I wasn't. So yesterday was my recommitment day.
The only good I did this weekend was that I did make it to the gym on Sunday and ran almost 3 miles on the treadmill - ran 30 minutes and didn't quite make 3 miles. I went back yesterday evening and tried again and was only 15 sec's shy of doing the 3 miles in 30 mins. I plan to try again tonight.
My left knee was hurting a bit on both runs. Both times it began hurting about mile 1.5 or 2.0. I hope it's just "under use" and not some real injury. I'm going to try not to push it, but I do want to try to run 3-4 days a week from now on. Today I plan to run and probably won't be able to again until Saturday.
Well, after I got back from Michigan I got on the scale and Sat, Sun, and Mon, I saw 220's. Not good at all. So after my "perfect" day yesterday, today the scale read 218.6. So that's why I'm happy with that number. Even though it's a full 5 lbs higher than 2 months ago. I'm ok. I just have to keep plugin along.
I've started a new challenge on the WW board. A group of us is trying to lose 20 lbs in 20 weeks. They started July 1. I really started yesterday but am going to try to catch up. The challenge runs us almost up to Thanksgiving, the day I'm going to *try* to run the Atlanta half marathon, so I really think this will be good. I think WI tomorrow will be something close to 220, hopefully 218, but if I can lose 20 lbs by thanksgiving, I'll be on ONEDERLAND which I haven't seen in a very long time.
That's the plan!
Today I'm leaving work around 4:30. I'm going to go home, change, hit the gym, and then hang out with Erik tonight. I've got 10 more points left for the day, not counting any I earn at the gym, so I should be good for a second "perfect" day. :0)
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Ran 4 Miles. Felt Good!
Last WI: 212.4/At Home WI: 213.4
WEDNESDAY
Well, I've had a couple of tough days. Monday I had my poker league. I went shopping on my way home from work and stocked up the fridge. I bailed on the run I had planned because I got home late and was tired from shopping (wimp!). I cooked a healthy dinner before my friends showed up for the game, but then set out the "munchies" for them. I had too many chips and dip, and unfortunately one of my friends brought tacos from taco bell and I had 2 (boo!) so my OP day went to Off Program quickly.
Yesterday I fell off the wagon for lunch. I had court in the morning and while there we heard some really good news for the office. One of the slack-ass attorneys has put in his notice. We've been thinking he was going to leave because he never shows up to work anymore, and we were counting the days. Now we have a date certain when this loser will be gone. Praise be. So we went to lunch to celebrate (bad move) - Mexican (even worse move). I totally ordered my favorite - taco and chili relleno w/sour cream and too many chips and salsa. Bad girl. I can't know for sure the points, but I'm guessing 20 for the lunch and that might be low. :-(
BUT there is a silver lining. I was supposed to do dinner at Maggiano's last night for a social function, but after my over-indulgent lunch, I bailed and went to the gym instead. I managed 4 miles on the treadmill. I ran it a little slow for me - 5.7 mph - but I wanted to get in 4 miles - something I haven't done in a while. And it felt good. I probably could have (and should have) gone further, but I quit without pain. 6 AP's earned, and a good run logged. I felt good. I went home to cook some chicken and a side of pasta and green beans for Erik and I. A 10 pt dinner - not bad and healthy. Had a snack of popcorn before bed. So I definitely finished the day over in points, but at least the run helped. The scale was very nice today considering it showed 215.4 yesterday. I'm hoping to have a good day today and see another drop tomorrow. I'm not sure what to expect at WI tomorrow, but I fear I'm going into it again, with the hope of not seeing a gain. Ah - I deserve it.
Plan today - get back to the gym tonight and get in another run. As far as I can, but then some elliptical to get me over 5 APs. I've had 9 pts so far today (a little high for breakfast) so I need to keep a check on things to be good the rest of the day. Good news is no plans for the night. Erik has daniel, so we'll have a quiet night at home I hope. :-)
WEDNESDAY
Well, I've had a couple of tough days. Monday I had my poker league. I went shopping on my way home from work and stocked up the fridge. I bailed on the run I had planned because I got home late and was tired from shopping (wimp!). I cooked a healthy dinner before my friends showed up for the game, but then set out the "munchies" for them. I had too many chips and dip, and unfortunately one of my friends brought tacos from taco bell and I had 2 (boo!) so my OP day went to Off Program quickly.
Yesterday I fell off the wagon for lunch. I had court in the morning and while there we heard some really good news for the office. One of the slack-ass attorneys has put in his notice. We've been thinking he was going to leave because he never shows up to work anymore, and we were counting the days. Now we have a date certain when this loser will be gone. Praise be. So we went to lunch to celebrate (bad move) - Mexican (even worse move). I totally ordered my favorite - taco and chili relleno w/sour cream and too many chips and salsa. Bad girl. I can't know for sure the points, but I'm guessing 20 for the lunch and that might be low. :-(
BUT there is a silver lining. I was supposed to do dinner at Maggiano's last night for a social function, but after my over-indulgent lunch, I bailed and went to the gym instead. I managed 4 miles on the treadmill. I ran it a little slow for me - 5.7 mph - but I wanted to get in 4 miles - something I haven't done in a while. And it felt good. I probably could have (and should have) gone further, but I quit without pain. 6 AP's earned, and a good run logged. I felt good. I went home to cook some chicken and a side of pasta and green beans for Erik and I. A 10 pt dinner - not bad and healthy. Had a snack of popcorn before bed. So I definitely finished the day over in points, but at least the run helped. The scale was very nice today considering it showed 215.4 yesterday. I'm hoping to have a good day today and see another drop tomorrow. I'm not sure what to expect at WI tomorrow, but I fear I'm going into it again, with the hope of not seeing a gain. Ah - I deserve it.
Plan today - get back to the gym tonight and get in another run. As far as I can, but then some elliptical to get me over 5 APs. I've had 9 pts so far today (a little high for breakfast) so I need to keep a check on things to be good the rest of the day. Good news is no plans for the night. Erik has daniel, so we'll have a quiet night at home I hope. :-)
Monday, May 21, 2007
Brownies Are My Downfall
Last WI: 212.4/At Home WI: 214.0
MONDAY
Another Monday. I hate Mondays. But I know most people do. This weekend was nice in terms of social interaction, but not so nice food-wise. Friday was ok. I agreed to work as a dealer at a casino show in Atlanta. I did really well food-wise all day and ended the day just 2 points over my target, having gotten in all the healthy 8's. Saturday was a different story. I slept in because I was so tired from working the night before, and had a quick brunch about 11:00 before heading over to Erik's new house to help clean for an upcoming open house. His New House is a new construction house he built in Tyrone with plan of selling it pretty quickly. Sort of a "flip it" idea. Well, the housing market plummeted over the last year and he hasn't been able to sell it like he hoped. Now we need to spruce it up a bit for the summer - prime selling season.
Anyway, we went over there and I probably earned a couple AP's by scrubbing bathrooms, floors and weeding the flowers. Then we went to lunch at Wings 'n Things. Bad move. I had wings and fried mushrooms and fries. No beer fortunately because we had Daniel and the neighbor kid with us, but definitely too many calories.
Saturday night I went over to a friends house to deal a poker game for him. It was a great success financially (they tipped very well). I ended up having 4 beers while I was there, which would have been ok. I was a bit over for the day, but not horribly. Unfortunately though, the game went till after midnight and I was starving by the time I got out of there. I'd had Wings 'n Things at about 3:00 and nothing since. Poor planning! So a midnight Taco Bell run it was. BAD!!
Sunday was supposed to be the day I recovered - ate well - exercised. All was going smoothly till Erik pulled out a pan of fresh brownies he'd made for Daniel (and us). I had one, and it was all down hill from there. Erik took Daniel back to his Mother's house at about 5:00 and I just fell into a sugar induced coma. Way too many brownies were consumed. No exercise was had. Bad girl!
So, here I am. Another Monday. Another week of trying to make up for my bad weekend activities WW-wise. I have no flex points left, and am in the hole. I didn't really tally yesterday's indulgence since I didn't look at the box of brownies before Erik took out the trash. I know it was bad though. Nothing to do now, but be good the rest of the week, get in the water and exercise and hope for the best on Thursday.
Today I'm going to try to get in some of those AP's. We have our Monday night poker league at my house tonight so that should help. I'm leaving here shortly to hit the grocery store on the way home. Then I plan to walk/run at least 3 miles before people start showing up around 6:30. It'll be cutting it close, but I need this to feel better about myself!
Here's Hoping!
MONDAY
Another Monday. I hate Mondays. But I know most people do. This weekend was nice in terms of social interaction, but not so nice food-wise. Friday was ok. I agreed to work as a dealer at a casino show in Atlanta. I did really well food-wise all day and ended the day just 2 points over my target, having gotten in all the healthy 8's. Saturday was a different story. I slept in because I was so tired from working the night before, and had a quick brunch about 11:00 before heading over to Erik's new house to help clean for an upcoming open house. His New House is a new construction house he built in Tyrone with plan of selling it pretty quickly. Sort of a "flip it" idea. Well, the housing market plummeted over the last year and he hasn't been able to sell it like he hoped. Now we need to spruce it up a bit for the summer - prime selling season.
Anyway, we went over there and I probably earned a couple AP's by scrubbing bathrooms, floors and weeding the flowers. Then we went to lunch at Wings 'n Things. Bad move. I had wings and fried mushrooms and fries. No beer fortunately because we had Daniel and the neighbor kid with us, but definitely too many calories.
Saturday night I went over to a friends house to deal a poker game for him. It was a great success financially (they tipped very well). I ended up having 4 beers while I was there, which would have been ok. I was a bit over for the day, but not horribly. Unfortunately though, the game went till after midnight and I was starving by the time I got out of there. I'd had Wings 'n Things at about 3:00 and nothing since. Poor planning! So a midnight Taco Bell run it was. BAD!!
Sunday was supposed to be the day I recovered - ate well - exercised. All was going smoothly till Erik pulled out a pan of fresh brownies he'd made for Daniel (and us). I had one, and it was all down hill from there. Erik took Daniel back to his Mother's house at about 5:00 and I just fell into a sugar induced coma. Way too many brownies were consumed. No exercise was had. Bad girl!
So, here I am. Another Monday. Another week of trying to make up for my bad weekend activities WW-wise. I have no flex points left, and am in the hole. I didn't really tally yesterday's indulgence since I didn't look at the box of brownies before Erik took out the trash. I know it was bad though. Nothing to do now, but be good the rest of the week, get in the water and exercise and hope for the best on Thursday.
Today I'm going to try to get in some of those AP's. We have our Monday night poker league at my house tonight so that should help. I'm leaving here shortly to hit the grocery store on the way home. Then I plan to walk/run at least 3 miles before people start showing up around 6:30. It'll be cutting it close, but I need this to feel better about myself!
Here's Hoping!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Week Off Program Leads to Recommitment
Last WI: 212.4/At Home WI: 213.0
MONDAY
Ok, so I haven't blogged in a week, and as you can guess, that means I've been bad for a week. Well, I was bad through Friday last week. I ended up not weighing in on Thursday, but for sort of a good reason. I was supposed to go to Tennessee to see my dad last weekend. I was going to leave Thursday. In order to get there at a reasonable time, I would have to miss WI. Well, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I was not OP. I was "tracking" but I was not staying within my points. I was 10-20 points over every day. Really, every day. I just looked back at my journal, and not one day last week did I stay w/in my points. So - I would probably have had a gain anyway.
Well, Wednesday I started feeling the beginnings of a cold coming on. I tried to ignore it, but by Thursday afternoon I was totally congested an exhausted. I called my dad and explained that I didn't think I could drive 7 hours in that state. I felt bad, but he understood. He has his own health problems, so I really don't need to get him sick. I ended up just going home on Thursday and sleeping. I didn't go to work on Friday, but spent the day in bed.
But - I declared, as of Friday morning (the beginning of my WW week) that this week would be a perfect week. I will track every single point (not just write down the food, but count the points). I will only eat my target points plus my weekly points allowance plus my APs. I will allow myself every point on the program, but not one more!
So far so good. It is Monday and I've used all but 7 of my WPA points, but that's not bad. I'm usually pretty good about being OP on the week days, so the fact that I got through the weekend with any WPA points left is amazing. I'm doing great. And the scale isn't being so bad. The lowest I've seen on the scale lately was 211.6, and that was after my "sick" day of not eating much at all. Today saw 213. I'm hoping to get around 211 flat by Thursday. I think I can do it. I think I can see a loss this week. I'd love for a "good" loss, but any loss will be good considering I deserved a gain last week.
This "cycle" is about right for me though. I can usually do about 2 months of being OP and seeing losses before I begin to slip. This time I did 8 weeks. Week 9 was last week, and I would have seen a gain. Now - it's time for another good 2 months of loss! Starting today.
In other good news, about 9 weeks ago I started my own personal challenge of journaling 84 days straight. One entire "three month journal". I am happy to say I am on day 67. This is week 10 of the 12 week journal and there are entries on every day. There are a few where I didn't bother to calculate the points - knowing I was way over - but every day lists every thing I ate - better or worse. I think that challenge has really been what has shown me such consistent losses. I plan to complete this journal and start a new one. I WILL get to goal - albeit slowly.
On personal news, I have another job interview today. A while ago, I interviewed with the United States Attorney's Office. A job I really wanted, and didn't get. Well, they called a couple weeks ago to say that, if we agreed, they were handing over the resumes of the individuals who interviewed there but didn't get offers to a partner agency called HIDTA which stands for High Intensity Drug Traffic Area. From what my research has shown, it's a federal agency that prosecutes high level drug dealers in metro areas around the US. Certain metro areas - atlanta included - have been designated high intensity drug traffic areas, and special prosecutors work to coordinate with law enforcement and prosecute the high level offenders. So I think. Anyway, I'm interviewing with them today. I have no idea if I'd want to do this job, but I feel like it can't hurt to interview. If they make me an offer, I can ask all the questions I want and make a choice. It's always good to have choices. The job I have right now is fun, and I have a lot of freedom and autonomy. The only real negatives are the money (very low for my industry) and the potential for growth. There really isn't any chance of "promotion" you're either an assistant district attorney or the district attorney (elected). And salary-wise, I'll get a 3% COLA raise every year, with little hope of more regardless of performance.
So, I've been exploring other options. We'll see how this goes.
MONDAY
Ok, so I haven't blogged in a week, and as you can guess, that means I've been bad for a week. Well, I was bad through Friday last week. I ended up not weighing in on Thursday, but for sort of a good reason. I was supposed to go to Tennessee to see my dad last weekend. I was going to leave Thursday. In order to get there at a reasonable time, I would have to miss WI. Well, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I was not OP. I was "tracking" but I was not staying within my points. I was 10-20 points over every day. Really, every day. I just looked back at my journal, and not one day last week did I stay w/in my points. So - I would probably have had a gain anyway.
Well, Wednesday I started feeling the beginnings of a cold coming on. I tried to ignore it, but by Thursday afternoon I was totally congested an exhausted. I called my dad and explained that I didn't think I could drive 7 hours in that state. I felt bad, but he understood. He has his own health problems, so I really don't need to get him sick. I ended up just going home on Thursday and sleeping. I didn't go to work on Friday, but spent the day in bed.
But - I declared, as of Friday morning (the beginning of my WW week) that this week would be a perfect week. I will track every single point (not just write down the food, but count the points). I will only eat my target points plus my weekly points allowance plus my APs. I will allow myself every point on the program, but not one more!
So far so good. It is Monday and I've used all but 7 of my WPA points, but that's not bad. I'm usually pretty good about being OP on the week days, so the fact that I got through the weekend with any WPA points left is amazing. I'm doing great. And the scale isn't being so bad. The lowest I've seen on the scale lately was 211.6, and that was after my "sick" day of not eating much at all. Today saw 213. I'm hoping to get around 211 flat by Thursday. I think I can do it. I think I can see a loss this week. I'd love for a "good" loss, but any loss will be good considering I deserved a gain last week.
This "cycle" is about right for me though. I can usually do about 2 months of being OP and seeing losses before I begin to slip. This time I did 8 weeks. Week 9 was last week, and I would have seen a gain. Now - it's time for another good 2 months of loss! Starting today.
In other good news, about 9 weeks ago I started my own personal challenge of journaling 84 days straight. One entire "three month journal". I am happy to say I am on day 67. This is week 10 of the 12 week journal and there are entries on every day. There are a few where I didn't bother to calculate the points - knowing I was way over - but every day lists every thing I ate - better or worse. I think that challenge has really been what has shown me such consistent losses. I plan to complete this journal and start a new one. I WILL get to goal - albeit slowly.
On personal news, I have another job interview today. A while ago, I interviewed with the United States Attorney's Office. A job I really wanted, and didn't get. Well, they called a couple weeks ago to say that, if we agreed, they were handing over the resumes of the individuals who interviewed there but didn't get offers to a partner agency called HIDTA which stands for High Intensity Drug Traffic Area. From what my research has shown, it's a federal agency that prosecutes high level drug dealers in metro areas around the US. Certain metro areas - atlanta included - have been designated high intensity drug traffic areas, and special prosecutors work to coordinate with law enforcement and prosecute the high level offenders. So I think. Anyway, I'm interviewing with them today. I have no idea if I'd want to do this job, but I feel like it can't hurt to interview. If they make me an offer, I can ask all the questions I want and make a choice. It's always good to have choices. The job I have right now is fun, and I have a lot of freedom and autonomy. The only real negatives are the money (very low for my industry) and the potential for growth. There really isn't any chance of "promotion" you're either an assistant district attorney or the district attorney (elected). And salary-wise, I'll get a 3% COLA raise every year, with little hope of more regardless of performance.
So, I've been exploring other options. We'll see how this goes.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Being Sick Helps the WI
Last WI: 212.6/At Home WI: 212.0
TUESDAY
Well, this weekend I was bad. Friday night we went to a friend's party. I was driving, so I wasn't drinking much. Over all that day I was bad for food though. I had fried food for lunch, and snacky type food for dinner. Not good.
Saturday I was planning to run, eat good and get back OP. But then we went to the Tavern for poker at 3:00. I wasn't going to drink but everyone else was and it looked good. Erik had driven, so I ended up drinking. After poker at the bar we went to Holly's for more poker and craps. Not good. I ended up getting really drunk. I had to journal some major estimates on that one because I really don't know how much I had. Bad.
Felt like crap on Sunday. It thought it was just hang over all day. We had Moe's for lunch and Longhorn for dinner. I made good choices both time, but I probably went over again.
All that made for a WI of 216+ yesterday morning. Basically I was worried again that this week would be a "gain" week. Then I went to work and came home at lunch feeling very naseous. Turns out my crappy feelings on Sunday may not have just been hang over. I think I got some wierd stomach bug because I ate a total of 12 points yesterday: Balance bar for breakfast (4pts); left over hamburger casserole for lat lunch (6pts) and a few saltines for "dinner" (2 pts). I really felt so crappy.
So this morning's WI is really a result of not eating yesterday, but now that I'm feeling better, I'm hoping it'll counteract my weekend indulgences. Today I've not eaten much again: left over hamburger casserole (6pts), green beans (0pts), broccoli & light dip (3pts), popcorn (6pts), pb2 & chocolate (3pts) for a total of 18 pts. That leaves me 10 pts for tonight. I think I'm going to meet some friends and play poker tonight at Chaps, so I'll get a salad or something there to stay at or under 10pts. I'm definitely not drinking, so that should be plenty. If I WI at or below 212 tomorrow morning, I'll have hope for a good loss this week.
Here's hoping!
I've been doing some soul searching about drinking lately. Not only is it really bad for my diet, I seem to be going overboard lately. Both Thursday night and Saturday night I got drunk. Not just tipsy or intoxicated, but drunk. I don't remember the end of the night on Saturday night so that's really bad. I know I'm "safe" when I party with Erik and the friends I was with, but as far as my body goes, it is so bad for me. I feel like crap for a whole day afterwards and don't get any exercise in. Besides the actualy physiological effects that such binge drinking has on the body. Bad I'm sure.
But, I've been a pretty heavy social drinker since college. I know I can't "give it up" but I really want to try to reduce the extremes I take it to. I love beer and love hanging out and having a beer or two, but there is absolutely no reason to get totally shit-faced. I need to work on finding that point where enough is enough. As I said, I'm not drinking today and won't be drinking tomorrow either (home with Erik & Daniel). Thursday we have a non-alcohol banquet for work, so at the earliest it'll be Friday before I drink at all again. I may be strong and not drink this weekend, though because Erik has Daniel and I should just stay home with the boys.
Anyway, just some thoughts on alcohol and my occasional abuse of it. Let's see if I can get it under control.
TUESDAY
Well, this weekend I was bad. Friday night we went to a friend's party. I was driving, so I wasn't drinking much. Over all that day I was bad for food though. I had fried food for lunch, and snacky type food for dinner. Not good.
Saturday I was planning to run, eat good and get back OP. But then we went to the Tavern for poker at 3:00. I wasn't going to drink but everyone else was and it looked good. Erik had driven, so I ended up drinking. After poker at the bar we went to Holly's for more poker and craps. Not good. I ended up getting really drunk. I had to journal some major estimates on that one because I really don't know how much I had. Bad.
Felt like crap on Sunday. It thought it was just hang over all day. We had Moe's for lunch and Longhorn for dinner. I made good choices both time, but I probably went over again.
All that made for a WI of 216+ yesterday morning. Basically I was worried again that this week would be a "gain" week. Then I went to work and came home at lunch feeling very naseous. Turns out my crappy feelings on Sunday may not have just been hang over. I think I got some wierd stomach bug because I ate a total of 12 points yesterday: Balance bar for breakfast (4pts); left over hamburger casserole for lat lunch (6pts) and a few saltines for "dinner" (2 pts). I really felt so crappy.
So this morning's WI is really a result of not eating yesterday, but now that I'm feeling better, I'm hoping it'll counteract my weekend indulgences. Today I've not eaten much again: left over hamburger casserole (6pts), green beans (0pts), broccoli & light dip (3pts), popcorn (6pts), pb2 & chocolate (3pts) for a total of 18 pts. That leaves me 10 pts for tonight. I think I'm going to meet some friends and play poker tonight at Chaps, so I'll get a salad or something there to stay at or under 10pts. I'm definitely not drinking, so that should be plenty. If I WI at or below 212 tomorrow morning, I'll have hope for a good loss this week.
Here's hoping!
I've been doing some soul searching about drinking lately. Not only is it really bad for my diet, I seem to be going overboard lately. Both Thursday night and Saturday night I got drunk. Not just tipsy or intoxicated, but drunk. I don't remember the end of the night on Saturday night so that's really bad. I know I'm "safe" when I party with Erik and the friends I was with, but as far as my body goes, it is so bad for me. I feel like crap for a whole day afterwards and don't get any exercise in. Besides the actualy physiological effects that such binge drinking has on the body. Bad I'm sure.
But, I've been a pretty heavy social drinker since college. I know I can't "give it up" but I really want to try to reduce the extremes I take it to. I love beer and love hanging out and having a beer or two, but there is absolutely no reason to get totally shit-faced. I need to work on finding that point where enough is enough. As I said, I'm not drinking today and won't be drinking tomorrow either (home with Erik & Daniel). Thursday we have a non-alcohol banquet for work, so at the earliest it'll be Friday before I drink at all again. I may be strong and not drink this weekend, though because Erik has Daniel and I should just stay home with the boys.
Anyway, just some thoughts on alcohol and my occasional abuse of it. Let's see if I can get it under control.
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