Moved in and Funkdity funk funk

220.0


Thursday



This weekend was CRAAAAAZZY. Like totally crazy busy. I ended up taking off Thursday & Friday from work to get my house ready for "the move". Holly's husband Dana was a godsend and helped me both days buy a refrigerator, lawn mower & patio furniture and install all that and a dishwasher. He's very handy! Than Saturday began the GREAT MOVE. I had about 6 friends meet me at my old house at 10:30 to start loading up the gynormous U-Haul I bought. We got it loaded, with more friends trickling in, about 12:30 and headed to the new house. A few mor friends met us there for the unload. Half way through unloading we sent half the big strong guys off to my storage facility to empty that out as well (which included a pian0 - let me tell you they LOVED me for that one). By the time they got back with that stuff we had the U-Haul emptied. By 4:30 we had the trucks/trailers/etc. from storag emptied and the party commenced. In exchange for physical labor Erik & I supplied Pizza, Wings, Beer & Water throughout the day. And we started our celebratory poker tournament at about 6:30 for all participants.

Sunday was church, then easter dinner at Holly's then home for nap & unpacking. So much unpacking to do...

Then this week I've been car-pooling with Holly because I'm not allowed to wear my contacts. I'm having lasik surgery tomorrow morning and this week have had to live with a blurry world. It's really odd. My eyes aren't that bad compared to a lot of people but I do have to squint if the TV is more than aobut 10 feet away. Anyway, technically I'm not supposed to drive w/o contacts/glasses so I've been riding w/Holly. Why don't I wear glasses you say? Well because about a month ago my someone or something (read my crazy cat!) decided to hide my glasses and I haven't been able to find them - not even after the move. I think they took them outside and burried them. Grrr. So blind I am - till tomorrow at least.

Food-wise I was really bad this weekend. Got lots of exercise with moving, but balanced it with beer, pizza & wings. Not good.

So my weight has totally fluctuated this week. Way too high. But finally I got back on track yesterday. I'm trying something different. I'm trying Sparkpeople. I've read lots of blogs on people who use it and thought I'd give it a try. The problem with weight watchers I'm having is that I've done it so long, that I really cheat too much. I know how to cheat points - find the foods with the most fiber so it's lower point - eat two servings separatly so it's less points than it would be in one sitting - stupid stuff that doesn't lower the calorie content of the food, but just lets me abuse the program. I'm just in a rut with weight watchers and need a change. So Sparkpeople here I come. I logged all my food yesterday and even got a good run in last night. Today so far I'm doing well. I've logged breakfast and lunch and will find something good for dinner.

I've got 22 weeks till the wedding. 22 weeks. I started with almost 30 and I've wasted about 8 without any real weight loss. not good. I can do a lot in 22 weeks but I've got to stick with it. I've got to. This HAS to be important.

I was researching DJ's yesterday and one had a bunch of pictures of weddings he hosted. I saw all these beautiful brides. I hate pictures of me right now. I really don't want to hate my wedding photos. So 22 weeks to make it happen. I HAVE to.

Today's plan - 200-500 calories for dinner - good run on the treadmill and some strength training. Get to bed at a reasonable time - no alcohol - no Y-knots (bar we usually go to on Thursdays). Just good healthy living. i can DO this!

Screw You Scale

Last WI: 224.8/Morning WI: 224.8

Thursday.

Ok. Now I'm just pissed. And hurt and depressed. What the hell. So yesterday I didn't follow my plan 100%, but enough not to deserve this. I ended up staying at work till 7:30. Went home - chugged like a million ounces of water, and went to bed. I was asleep before 11:00. No I didn't hit the treadmill, but NO I didn't eat dinner either. I only started to feel the tiniest bit hungry about 8:30 pm and said - nope. I will not eat again today. I've probably hit my points with that evil sushi buffet, and I need to see a good number on the scale tomorrow. So I went to bed, having last eating about 2:00 pm.

This morning (after getting up no less than 3 times last night to pee - thanks million ounces of water) I jumped on the scale and saw 224.8. What? 3.2 lb gain? Are you freaking kidding me? This is the number I've vowed to record on all my stupid websites and databases? Ok. So I just don't get it. No, I wasn't perfect this week, but I did TRY. More than I've done in over a month. I ran 2 times (again more than over a month). I tracked everything I ate on WW e-tools - even when I went over. And shit - I didn't eat for over 17 hours before WI! WTF? Now when I get sick and don't eat for 17 hours the scale plummets (then rebounds once I start eating). But hell, I didn't even care if it was a "fake" number this morning, so long as it wasn't a 3.2 lb gain! I'm so mad and sad and disappointed and confused.

I feel like the scale just laughs at me as it climbs to nearly new heights. Now my stupid ticker at the top looks like I just started this journey. Oh boy do I wish I had just started this journey. Every day this week the scale creeped up, laughing the whole way....222, ha ha, 223, ha ha ha, 224, ha ha ha ha. Oh - you don't like 224.8? No I didn't, so what did I do - brushed my teeth and then re-hopped. HA HA HA - 225.4. Fine. I'll take 224.8. WTF. Maybe my scale's messed up? That would be too much to hope for.

I've said it a million ways, and I'll say it again. I don't get it. I just don't get it. I didn't expect this fabulous loss - I mean come on, I wasn't perfect. But I didn't expect a "fabulous" gain either.

So - the question remains. What am I going to do about it. Well, a big part of me wants to say FUCK YOU SCALE and just eat whatever I want. Gorge on pizza hut and McDonalds. Say so what if I'm 300 lbs next year. So what.

But I know that won't make me happy either. As I noted yesterday, I am over weight, but I'm not horribly unhealthy. At 300 lbs I'd be horribly unhealthy.

So, I'll try again. I had my stupid 3 pt weight watcher muffin for breakfast. I've packed some snacks (including that apple and orange I so proudly DIDN'T eat yesterday). And I'll try to get through another day. Sad, disappointed and depressed. But I'll get through.

I'll count my blessings, and be happy for a life that, with the exception of weight struggles, is pretty darn good - good job, good family, good man. Stop complaining and keep trying.

Sadly. Disappointedly. We'll leave it at that. Oh - and no sushi buffet...for a long while.

No reward for hard work today.

Last WI: 221.6/Morning WI; 223.6 (wtf?)

TUESDAY

So, I know weight fluctuates daily based on more than just caloric intake. But I was hoping to see a lower number this morning. I was so good yesterday. Ate exactly my points, plus one of the activity points I earned by running 2 miles/walking .5 yesterday after working late (8:30). So dedicated and so not rewarded. Oh well - we'll do it again and hope for the best tomorrow. Gotta keep pluggin along. I did really well with water and fruits and veggies yesterday too, so all around a good day. Here's to another...

I won't be working out tonight as I think I need a break after two hard pushes on the treadmill. My legs are a little sore and I'd hate to hurt myself after my slackerness the last few months. So today is off to rest, and back at it tomorrow.

So far this morning I've had a balance bar and a banana (total 6 pts) and I'm still starving. I think today is going to be a tough day. I've got to figure out a yummy, filling, low point lunch to keep me going.

Other than that, no new news.