60 days. (5 days till crunch time!)

WEDNESDAY

So, I'm actually really excited about Monday. Odd, because this is a holiday weekend. I'm flying out tomorrow evening with Erik to see my family, my dad's new home, my brother & his kids and wife, and of course my mom. But I'm looking forward to Monday - the day after we get back. Why?

Because I start back at Boot camp.

And I REALLY start my countdown to the wedding.

Why can't I start now, you ask? Did you read the paragraph above about family gathering this weekend? It will be tremendous fun, but I have absolutely ZERO will power around my family. We eat. That's what we do. There's always food, and it's always good.

The one saving grace I should have is that my dad just moved to a place right on the Lake of the Ozarks, and has a boat we can waterski behind. I was a killer waterskiier when I was a kid (with some scars to prove it). I skiied about 5 years ago here in GA and maybe once since, but haven't really gotten to do it much as an adult. I know I'm going to suck. But I'm confident I will be able to get UP. More than my brother can do, apparently. :-) I determined to show him up.

So that'll be some exercise. Hopefully more swimming will be done as well so I can burn some of the bajillion calories I will be consuming this weekend.

Then Monday?

DUM DUM DUM

It's official wedding crunch time! I'm back to boot camp at 5:00 am every morning. Back to writing down EVERYTHING I eat. Back to eating Body for Life-style. And, with the exciting exception of our bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Savannah - I'm back to NO ALCOHOL. Zip. Zero. I mean, I can go 8 weeks without it, right? Especially since I'll get a no-regrets exception in Savannah. I can DO this.

I got my dress last Friday. I was actually a little disappointed. I still LOVE the dress. But since I've stopped the boot camp, I've not been feeling so hot about myself, and the pounds are creeping back on. The dress fit - no worries there - but I wanted it to be loose. I wanted it to be falling off. And although it fit, it kind of pushed up my chest in a way that didn't exactly make my boobies look big - which is what you'd assume and wouldn't be so bad - but made my upper chest/sholder area look poofy. Odd to describe, I know, but it's something that weightloss and strength training will help. I just need to get back on it.

So, I've given myself the next 5 days. Not to go crazy, but to enjoy my last bit of "freedom" food wise. After that, I've got to be committed. I can still conceivably be under 200 for my wedding - a goal I've always had. Of course I'd love to be 'at goal' but that's not going to happen now. I'll be satisfied with under 200. That's about where I was when I met Erik. It'd be appropriate. I can DO it. Right?

Other than the weight issue, wedding planning has been surprisingly easy. I know I know, I just jinxed myself, but sheesh - should I be stressing about details by now? I keep checking my little "checklists" available all over the web, and I'm right on track. Everything that should be booked/planned is done. Just waiting for final numbers from my guests to shore up the details. I have appointments with the vendors I need to make final decisions for. I'm good to go. So WHY can't I focus on the one thing that scares me the most about this wedding? Why can't I put more energy into the weightloss project I care so much about?

I will. Starting Monday. Yes, that sound like a HORRIBLE, typical fat-girl statement ("I'll start tomorrow, again"). But that's the plan. Meanwhile - the goal is damage control.