241.4
So yesterday I had a fight with my husband - nothing major or mariage threatening, just one of our occasional spats. So I left the house angry, and went to a bar to meet friends. But! I had already eaten a small but reasonable dinner and this bar doesn't serve food. So I'm safe right? I can have a few beers, commiserate with friends, and go home having not done too much damage to the scale.. um. no. I have NO control when I drink (food craving wise) and totally hit the taco bell drive through on the way home. Was I hungry? Sure felt like I was at the time. Did I choose to go home and pop some popcorn or have a handful of cashews? Nope. Bad cindy.
The scale did not punish me too badly this morning, but I fear tomorrow. It was a late night binge so maybe it will take a day for the punishment to hit. We shall see. So far today - good choices made, now to get through the next 8 hours...
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Still kicking
241.8 (not bad)
It's been a busy week so only time for a quick note to prove that I have not, once again, giving up and gained 20 lbs. I'm up a pound or so from last week, but it was a crazy stressful week and I'm thankful that's where I am. I'm really busy a work this month, so I think I'll be thankful to see under 240 by the end of the month. That's the plan. My brother, of course, is kicking my ass on the weightloss challenge, but I'm the tortiose, not the hare...so I tell myself. :0)
More to come, hopefully.
It's been a busy week so only time for a quick note to prove that I have not, once again, giving up and gained 20 lbs. I'm up a pound or so from last week, but it was a crazy stressful week and I'm thankful that's where I am. I'm really busy a work this month, so I think I'll be thankful to see under 240 by the end of the month. That's the plan. My brother, of course, is kicking my ass on the weightloss challenge, but I'm the tortiose, not the hare...so I tell myself. :0)
More to come, hopefully.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Week 1: Down 4.4lbs!
240.4
Yeah! Good scale day today. I'm so pleased. I kicked butt yesterday on the treadmill and did 85 minutes. Most of it walking, yes, but hell that's still a huge victory. Haven't climbed on that machine in too long. I did 20 minutes first, running as much as I could (about 10 mins of it) then was getting tired and bored. I'd been listing to my music, but was getting bored anyway, so I decided to let myself "walk" and try to get through a tv episode on my Ipod. I've never watched the show Grey's anatomy, but a few weeks ago decided I'd like to give it a try, so I'd downloaded the first season (9 episodes) to my ipod. So I clicked on episode 1. And walked through the whole darn thing. I mean it was great. I got totally absorbed for about 50 minutes. I'd continue to check myself and be sure I was still walking fast, keeping the heart rate up, and every 10 mins or so I'd make myself run for a minute or two to get the heart rate going, but it worked. I ended up burning 870 calories, which is awesome and likely the reason for this morning's good weigh in.
So this week is going to be something of a challenge just because I'm really busy at work. I have 2 depositions scheduled -Tuesday and Wednesday- that I'm not yet totally prepared for. But I'll get through them, I'm sure. Today I'll get everything finalized, but then I have a lot to do before the next week when I have my client coming in to prep for her deposition the following week. Basically I'm about 4 weeks from the end of discovery in a relatively big case, so lots going on.
That's ok though. I still plan to make my gym workouts. I didn't get there this morning like I'd planned, in part because I didn't sleep well last night. I couldn't get to sleep for some reason. But that's ok. I have my bag in the car and essentially have to drive by the gym to get home and I have my assignment, so I will go. I only have to put in about 50 mins, so there's no good excuse to dodge it.
So week one down of my challenge with my brother and I'm down 4.4 lbs. Not bad. Of course he lost 10.5, but that's a guy for you. My only hope in winning this challenge is that he'll slack after a month or two. I'm the tortoise, he's the hare. Besides, if I end up losing 40lbs over 4 months, I'll happily pay my brother $100 for the motivation. I need to lose 70 total, which is just daunting, but for now, I'm taking it one month, one week, and one day at a time. Today I will track everything I eat, stay within my points, and it the gym for an hour or so. That will be a successful day.
Yeah! Good scale day today. I'm so pleased. I kicked butt yesterday on the treadmill and did 85 minutes. Most of it walking, yes, but hell that's still a huge victory. Haven't climbed on that machine in too long. I did 20 minutes first, running as much as I could (about 10 mins of it) then was getting tired and bored. I'd been listing to my music, but was getting bored anyway, so I decided to let myself "walk" and try to get through a tv episode on my Ipod. I've never watched the show Grey's anatomy, but a few weeks ago decided I'd like to give it a try, so I'd downloaded the first season (9 episodes) to my ipod. So I clicked on episode 1. And walked through the whole darn thing. I mean it was great. I got totally absorbed for about 50 minutes. I'd continue to check myself and be sure I was still walking fast, keeping the heart rate up, and every 10 mins or so I'd make myself run for a minute or two to get the heart rate going, but it worked. I ended up burning 870 calories, which is awesome and likely the reason for this morning's good weigh in.
So this week is going to be something of a challenge just because I'm really busy at work. I have 2 depositions scheduled -Tuesday and Wednesday- that I'm not yet totally prepared for. But I'll get through them, I'm sure. Today I'll get everything finalized, but then I have a lot to do before the next week when I have my client coming in to prep for her deposition the following week. Basically I'm about 4 weeks from the end of discovery in a relatively big case, so lots going on.
That's ok though. I still plan to make my gym workouts. I didn't get there this morning like I'd planned, in part because I didn't sleep well last night. I couldn't get to sleep for some reason. But that's ok. I have my bag in the car and essentially have to drive by the gym to get home and I have my assignment, so I will go. I only have to put in about 50 mins, so there's no good excuse to dodge it.
So week one down of my challenge with my brother and I'm down 4.4 lbs. Not bad. Of course he lost 10.5, but that's a guy for you. My only hope in winning this challenge is that he'll slack after a month or two. I'm the tortoise, he's the hare. Besides, if I end up losing 40lbs over 4 months, I'll happily pay my brother $100 for the motivation. I need to lose 70 total, which is just daunting, but for now, I'm taking it one month, one week, and one day at a time. Today I will track everything I eat, stay within my points, and it the gym for an hour or so. That will be a successful day.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Homework Completed!
242.6
Well I did my homework - not as initially planned, but I did it, which is what counts. I've had a couple non-scale victories (NSV) in the last 24 hours that I'm very happy about. The first one was last night. I didn't end up going to the gym like I was supposed to (that is not the NSV obviously). I have not good excuse. My bad excuse is that I wanted to watch the national championship game with friends and didn't get out of work in time to hit the gym first. But I promised myself I'd go this morning before work. And I did! More on that later.
So anyway, last night I went out to my favorite bar - Y-Knots and watched the game with friends. Going in I had 14 points left for the day (and none earned due to the bailout on the gym). So I had the cheese quesadillas for 7 points and had 7 left. AND..... then I had only 3 beers (6pts). Yes, sireebob, I went to the bar and didn't go over on points. That's right. Normally I'd have some wings, or chicken fingers and tater tots and about 5 beers (a bucket- but over many hours..). Not last night. I stopped at 3 beers and switched to diet coke. And amazingly? When I got home not drunk, I didn't have the urge to binge like so many other nights when I drink to much. Yeah me!
Then this morning NSV #2 is actually GOING to the gym. Yes, I promised, but how many times have I gone to bed without exercising "promising" to get up and do it in the morning. Rarely does it happen. But this morning it did. I did 20 mins on the treadmill and about 30 mins doing the weight training program I had been assigned.
This is actually good. Not good that I skipped yesterday but good that I did my weight training on a Friday. Since my gym is near my work (30 miles from my house) it's less convenient to do weight training on the weekend, and it's important to take a "rest" day between weight training days, so by doing it today I've gotten myself on a M-W-F schedule. Had I done it yesterday I'd have had to fit it in sometime this weekend. That said - I don't plan to be a total bum this weekend. I do have a treadmill at my house, so there's no good excuse there. I know I'll be sore tomorrow and Sunday from the first weight training in a long while, but that doesn't prevent me from at least WALKING for 20-30 mins Sat. and Sun. so that's the plan. I will be happy if I just "walk" for 20 mins both Saturday and Sunday. In reality, once I get on the darn thing I won't be satisfied with walking the whole time so I will likely kick in some running. But to get my butt on there, I'm telling myself all I have to do is walk. That should work.
Tonight is going to be a challenege. My best friend is in from Hawaii and we're going out. Which definitely means drinking - no way around that. But I need to plan out my day food wise so I still have some points left and don't go over. I'd be so proud if I woke up tomorrow, having a great night out, and didn't feel guilty about going over in points. That's the plan.
Well I did my homework - not as initially planned, but I did it, which is what counts. I've had a couple non-scale victories (NSV) in the last 24 hours that I'm very happy about. The first one was last night. I didn't end up going to the gym like I was supposed to (that is not the NSV obviously). I have not good excuse. My bad excuse is that I wanted to watch the national championship game with friends and didn't get out of work in time to hit the gym first. But I promised myself I'd go this morning before work. And I did! More on that later.
So anyway, last night I went out to my favorite bar - Y-Knots and watched the game with friends. Going in I had 14 points left for the day (and none earned due to the bailout on the gym). So I had the cheese quesadillas for 7 points and had 7 left. AND..... then I had only 3 beers (6pts). Yes, sireebob, I went to the bar and didn't go over on points. That's right. Normally I'd have some wings, or chicken fingers and tater tots and about 5 beers (a bucket- but over many hours..). Not last night. I stopped at 3 beers and switched to diet coke. And amazingly? When I got home not drunk, I didn't have the urge to binge like so many other nights when I drink to much. Yeah me!
Then this morning NSV #2 is actually GOING to the gym. Yes, I promised, but how many times have I gone to bed without exercising "promising" to get up and do it in the morning. Rarely does it happen. But this morning it did. I did 20 mins on the treadmill and about 30 mins doing the weight training program I had been assigned.
This is actually good. Not good that I skipped yesterday but good that I did my weight training on a Friday. Since my gym is near my work (30 miles from my house) it's less convenient to do weight training on the weekend, and it's important to take a "rest" day between weight training days, so by doing it today I've gotten myself on a M-W-F schedule. Had I done it yesterday I'd have had to fit it in sometime this weekend. That said - I don't plan to be a total bum this weekend. I do have a treadmill at my house, so there's no good excuse there. I know I'll be sore tomorrow and Sunday from the first weight training in a long while, but that doesn't prevent me from at least WALKING for 20-30 mins Sat. and Sun. so that's the plan. I will be happy if I just "walk" for 20 mins both Saturday and Sunday. In reality, once I get on the darn thing I won't be satisfied with walking the whole time so I will likely kick in some running. But to get my butt on there, I'm telling myself all I have to do is walk. That should work.
Tonight is going to be a challenege. My best friend is in from Hawaii and we're going out. Which definitely means drinking - no way around that. But I need to plan out my day food wise so I still have some points left and don't go over. I'd be so proud if I woke up tomorrow, having a great night out, and didn't feel guilty about going over in points. That's the plan.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Take me back to school!
242.8 (small increase yes, but hey, I did have a few beers last night...)
Is it odd how when you have a plan for your health, a weightloss plan, a work out plan, an overall plan with goals and steps to get there, you feel better already. I mean I've only been back on track 3 days and I know there's no physical evidence yet, but I already feel slimmer, more confident, more motivated, more energized. Funny.
Today I took a new step in my plan to beat my brother's butt - I signed up for a new gym. Well actually it's an old gym - one I used to belong to when I worked at a firm four blocks away, before my days as a prosecutor, but new now, nonetheless. There's a gym in my building but I went in there the other day and realized that it's so small, neglected, etc., that I never go and never feel motivated to go. It's independently owned, so understandably they can't do a lot of renovations or keep the equipment super current. This "new" gym is one I used to go to - it's a chain (LAFitness) and there are like 3 billion locations around Atlanta, actually a brand new one near my office that I didn't even know exsited, that has a pool (very cool). And it's actually cheaper than the independant, in-my-building gym (which I guess shouldn't surprise me).
So I signed up. And I have my gym bag with me. And I'm going to work out tonight on the way home. I asked about personal training prices, and man they're just so damn expensive. I mean $240 a month to get a guy for 30 minutes once a week? And it goes up from there as you can imagine. Ridiculous. The only reason I wanted a personal trainer is to have someone develop a program for me, and keep me motivated. Well I decided to do the next best thing. Right after I signed up for the gym, I headed two blocks down to the Barnes & Noble and bought 2 things -The Body Sculpting Bible for Women and "The Ultimate Workout Logbook". For $40 I get most of what I wanted an instructor for. The bodysculpting book has a program that has me lifting weights 3 days a week, telling me exactly what exercise to do, changing the program every day, and then cycling to a new program every 2 weeks. Ok - so I have my program.
The "logbook" is, believe it or not a good part of my motivation. Let me explain. I've realized that if you want to be successful at something you have to figure out how to utilize your strengths to get it down. Self motivation is not a strength of mine. I'm a lazy bum. If I had the metabolism of my huband or best friend I don't think I'd even know what a "dumb bell" looked like. I'd totally be lazy and live off the benefits of my body's ability to burn the food I ate.
Alas, I don't so I need to find the "strength" that can get me what I want. In yesterday's post I found one - competition. I hate to lose, particularly to my brother, so that will keep me going to some extent. For a while at least. But I need more.
I thought about it today and realized that I need to tie my love for school into this journey. Yes, I do need to keep learning about fitness and nutrition, but what I really mean is I need the structure. One of the things I LOVE about school is its structure. You have a definite beginning - the first day of class - and a definite end - finals, and everything in between is planned out. For many classes you know the first day the assignments you'll have for every subsequent class. You have a plan - a road map.
I like assignments. And I like finite end points and goals.
So this log book and "program" gives me that. I have an assignment. I have to complete a very specific routine three days a week. And my "grade" is based upon my writing it down in my log book.
So where's the definite end? Of course there's not really an END end - I'll be doing this my entire life - but there are mini-ends. First is the first 2 weeks - the "program" has me doing a set routine for 2 weeks, then it changes. Then it's the first 6 weeks - the program gradually intensifies for 6 weeks then you cycle back to the first week's intensity, but with a different routine.
Then there's the running portion. Part of my assignment 3 times a week is to get on the treadmill and do the cardio. The program in the book just calls for 20 mins of cardio - no program for that. That's not good enough for me. For me, I've always measured my success cardiovascularly based upon my running. I've done a marathon, for goodness sake. But today when I jump on that treadmill, honestly I'll be lucky to be able to run a half mile straight without walking. So I need to build that back up. Slowly.
So I'm using the Couchto5K program to get me back in running shape - thus - giving me an assignment for each day. Today I've already written it down on a post-it to take with me to the treadmill. Along with my post-it outlining exactly which weight training exercises to do.
Today is Day 1. And I will get my homework done.
Is it odd how when you have a plan for your health, a weightloss plan, a work out plan, an overall plan with goals and steps to get there, you feel better already. I mean I've only been back on track 3 days and I know there's no physical evidence yet, but I already feel slimmer, more confident, more motivated, more energized. Funny.
Today I took a new step in my plan to beat my brother's butt - I signed up for a new gym. Well actually it's an old gym - one I used to belong to when I worked at a firm four blocks away, before my days as a prosecutor, but new now, nonetheless. There's a gym in my building but I went in there the other day and realized that it's so small, neglected, etc., that I never go and never feel motivated to go. It's independently owned, so understandably they can't do a lot of renovations or keep the equipment super current. This "new" gym is one I used to go to - it's a chain (LAFitness) and there are like 3 billion locations around Atlanta, actually a brand new one near my office that I didn't even know exsited, that has a pool (very cool). And it's actually cheaper than the independant, in-my-building gym (which I guess shouldn't surprise me).
So I signed up. And I have my gym bag with me. And I'm going to work out tonight on the way home. I asked about personal training prices, and man they're just so damn expensive. I mean $240 a month to get a guy for 30 minutes once a week? And it goes up from there as you can imagine. Ridiculous. The only reason I wanted a personal trainer is to have someone develop a program for me, and keep me motivated. Well I decided to do the next best thing. Right after I signed up for the gym, I headed two blocks down to the Barnes & Noble and bought 2 things -The Body Sculpting Bible for Women and "The Ultimate Workout Logbook". For $40 I get most of what I wanted an instructor for. The bodysculpting book has a program that has me lifting weights 3 days a week, telling me exactly what exercise to do, changing the program every day, and then cycling to a new program every 2 weeks. Ok - so I have my program.
The "logbook" is, believe it or not a good part of my motivation. Let me explain. I've realized that if you want to be successful at something you have to figure out how to utilize your strengths to get it down. Self motivation is not a strength of mine. I'm a lazy bum. If I had the metabolism of my huband or best friend I don't think I'd even know what a "dumb bell" looked like. I'd totally be lazy and live off the benefits of my body's ability to burn the food I ate.
Alas, I don't so I need to find the "strength" that can get me what I want. In yesterday's post I found one - competition. I hate to lose, particularly to my brother, so that will keep me going to some extent. For a while at least. But I need more.
I thought about it today and realized that I need to tie my love for school into this journey. Yes, I do need to keep learning about fitness and nutrition, but what I really mean is I need the structure. One of the things I LOVE about school is its structure. You have a definite beginning - the first day of class - and a definite end - finals, and everything in between is planned out. For many classes you know the first day the assignments you'll have for every subsequent class. You have a plan - a road map.
I like assignments. And I like finite end points and goals.
So this log book and "program" gives me that. I have an assignment. I have to complete a very specific routine three days a week. And my "grade" is based upon my writing it down in my log book.
So where's the definite end? Of course there's not really an END end - I'll be doing this my entire life - but there are mini-ends. First is the first 2 weeks - the "program" has me doing a set routine for 2 weeks, then it changes. Then it's the first 6 weeks - the program gradually intensifies for 6 weeks then you cycle back to the first week's intensity, but with a different routine.
Then there's the running portion. Part of my assignment 3 times a week is to get on the treadmill and do the cardio. The program in the book just calls for 20 mins of cardio - no program for that. That's not good enough for me. For me, I've always measured my success cardiovascularly based upon my running. I've done a marathon, for goodness sake. But today when I jump on that treadmill, honestly I'll be lucky to be able to run a half mile straight without walking. So I need to build that back up. Slowly.
So I'm using the Couchto5K program to get me back in running shape - thus - giving me an assignment for each day. Today I've already written it down on a post-it to take with me to the treadmill. Along with my post-it outlining exactly which weight training exercises to do.
Today is Day 1. And I will get my homework done.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
New Year, New Chances, Same old Goals...
Morning WI: 242.4
Well, I'm back. And I had a "holiday gain" like some many other people. Then I had a "resolution" like so many other people. But this time, I'm trying something a little different, in the hopes that it works. I'm having a CHALLENGE. Not just a personal goal, blah blah, that I can ignore and say "oh darn, I didn't do it". But a BET. With my brother - probably the person I love the most and am the most competitive with (it's a close call between him and my husband).
So, here's how it all went down. Over Christmas my cute but rotund brother stated that he and his wifey are going to start a serious diet on Jan. 5. I agreed I should join up and that maybe we should keep up with each other.
Then, this weekend I had a brilliant idea. Why not make it a game? Why not make it a challenge to see who can do the best on their weight loss goals? So - I bet my brother $100 that I can lose more weight (percentage wise) than he can in the next 4 months. If neither of us loses at least 10% of our body weight by then (May 4) the bets off, but if one or both of us does, the highest percentage gets $100. We weigh in and report weekly on Mondays.
My first weigh in was 244.8 lbs. (blah!) His was 300 flat. Unfortunately we live 3 states apart so we'll have to trust each other on the numbers, but he's got a wife there to keep him in check, and I have a husband so hopefully no cheating will ensue.
I don't konw if it will work. And I don't know how much I can lose in 4 months. I realistically shooting for 25 lbs, but I'd be thrilled with 30-40. We'll see. It has been fun teasing each other and threating to send a pizza to each other's houses. Today I posted a big picture of a Krystal chili-cheese pup on his facebook site to taunt him. I only do this because I know it will really motivate him more (we're both HIGHLY competitive.)
So that's where we are. I'm down a couple pounds since Monday but as we all know the first few days are easy. I'm still going to weigh in at Weight Watchers weekly on Thursdays to keep up with the new plan which I'm using to do this, and have some mid-week accountability. I hopefully with 2 weigh-in days a week I'll not go on crazy 3 day binges like I have in the past.
Here's hoping it works. Me and the other billion resolutioners...
Well, I'm back. And I had a "holiday gain" like some many other people. Then I had a "resolution" like so many other people. But this time, I'm trying something a little different, in the hopes that it works. I'm having a CHALLENGE. Not just a personal goal, blah blah, that I can ignore and say "oh darn, I didn't do it". But a BET. With my brother - probably the person I love the most and am the most competitive with (it's a close call between him and my husband).
So, here's how it all went down. Over Christmas my cute but rotund brother stated that he and his wifey are going to start a serious diet on Jan. 5. I agreed I should join up and that maybe we should keep up with each other.
Then, this weekend I had a brilliant idea. Why not make it a game? Why not make it a challenge to see who can do the best on their weight loss goals? So - I bet my brother $100 that I can lose more weight (percentage wise) than he can in the next 4 months. If neither of us loses at least 10% of our body weight by then (May 4) the bets off, but if one or both of us does, the highest percentage gets $100. We weigh in and report weekly on Mondays.
My first weigh in was 244.8 lbs. (blah!) His was 300 flat. Unfortunately we live 3 states apart so we'll have to trust each other on the numbers, but he's got a wife there to keep him in check, and I have a husband so hopefully no cheating will ensue.
I don't konw if it will work. And I don't know how much I can lose in 4 months. I realistically shooting for 25 lbs, but I'd be thrilled with 30-40. We'll see. It has been fun teasing each other and threating to send a pizza to each other's houses. Today I posted a big picture of a Krystal chili-cheese pup on his facebook site to taunt him. I only do this because I know it will really motivate him more (we're both HIGHLY competitive.)
So that's where we are. I'm down a couple pounds since Monday but as we all know the first few days are easy. I'm still going to weigh in at Weight Watchers weekly on Thursdays to keep up with the new plan which I'm using to do this, and have some mid-week accountability. I hopefully with 2 weigh-in days a week I'll not go on crazy 3 day binges like I have in the past.
Here's hoping it works. Me and the other billion resolutioners...
Friday, November 7, 2008
Feels Good
Official WI: 243.2
Morning WI: 237.8
Yesterday was good. I ate exactly what was allowed in my new "points range". Today I'm doing well so far. I've logged everything into weight watchers site and plan to keep up with it all week. I tried a new meeting last night that I won't be going back to, which is too bad because it's about 2 miles from my house. I just didn't like the vibe at all or the leader. There were only about 10 people there and I was the youngest by about 20 years. That would be ok, but the leader fancied herself a comedian but wasn't. She tried to get group participating and what she got was a lot of joking commentary. Like, when she asked what do you do when you need to find the motivation to continue- the response was: go eat a big meal then you'll feel really guilty. Um, no?
It almost felt like the people there weren't taking it seriously, which may have had to do a lot with the leader's style. Overall, it's just not for me.
That's ok, though because there is a WW center about 8 miles further from my house that has a lot of meetings to choose from, including a variety of leaders. I think I'm going to try the Thursday night at 7:00 meeting next week with the Friday morning at 8:30 being my fall back if I have to work late. I definitely need to go to meetings, I just need to find one that fits with me, my needs and my personality.
Morning WI: 237.8
Yesterday was good. I ate exactly what was allowed in my new "points range". Today I'm doing well so far. I've logged everything into weight watchers site and plan to keep up with it all week. I tried a new meeting last night that I won't be going back to, which is too bad because it's about 2 miles from my house. I just didn't like the vibe at all or the leader. There were only about 10 people there and I was the youngest by about 20 years. That would be ok, but the leader fancied herself a comedian but wasn't. She tried to get group participating and what she got was a lot of joking commentary. Like, when she asked what do you do when you need to find the motivation to continue- the response was: go eat a big meal then you'll feel really guilty. Um, no?
It almost felt like the people there weren't taking it seriously, which may have had to do a lot with the leader's style. Overall, it's just not for me.
That's ok, though because there is a WW center about 8 miles further from my house that has a lot of meetings to choose from, including a variety of leaders. I think I'm going to try the Thursday night at 7:00 meeting next week with the Friday morning at 8:30 being my fall back if I have to work late. I definitely need to go to meetings, I just need to find one that fits with me, my needs and my personality.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Busy means Bad
Unknown...going to official WI tonight or tomorrow.
My life has been CRAZY this last month or two. So busy. So tiring. So much.
Our party was great. We had lots of people over and lots of fun. After that, though, my life switched to high gear. Every major election cycle, I volunteer for this organization that recruits and dispatches hundreds of volunteers in Georgia. This year was our biggest yet with over 600 volunteers on the ground. So I've been crazy busy this last week. I didn't sleep much at all until Tuesday night, when I slept for 16 hours. Yes 16 hours. I went to bed at midnight on Tuesday (already having taken Wednesday off) and didn't get out of bed until 4:00 pm on Wednesday. And I still slept a full 8 hours last night as well. I haven't slept that much ever, not being sick. Just shows how exhausted I was from the week before. I literally worked 80 hours in 6 days. Exhausting.
So now I'm back to normal life and back to the effort of weight loss. After much personal debate, I've decided to go back to Weight Watchers. It's the only thing that's ever worked for me, so I'm going to try again. I haven't decided which meeting I'm going to go to, but I have decided not to go to the one at my work. As convenient as it is, I'm not a huge fan of the leader, and for me, the weight watchers journey has always been a relatively private thing. I don't feel as comfortable going to a big meeting at my office, however convenient it is. Odd, yes. But we have to do what works, right?
So there's a meeting near my house on Thursday nights at 6:30. The trouble is getting there by 6:30 will not always be easy. I'm going to try to go today and check it out. I don't know how I'll feel about it, but it's worth a try. There's lots of other choices, however, if that one doesn't work out.
So don't be surprised to see a crazy high number tomorrow. I've hit 240, which is sick, but that's why I'm doing this. I didn't get on the scale this morning, frankly because I forgot, but I'm sure it's somewhere near 240. Which means tonight at an official weigh in with clothes after eating during the day, I'll probably see 245 or so. The numbers are so high now they're almost meaningless. Which is even more scary.
I've got to do something about this now, or it will only get worse.
Another thing may be a factor in my weight loss attempt this time, but I don't know in what way. I just started back on the birth control pill. For most of my adult life I've been on Depo Provera - the shot - that has been shown to cause weight gain. I've always felt like I couldn't blame my weight gain on that, though because when I really tried, and did the right things, I could still lose weight. That said, however, I'm hoping that the transition to traditional pill birth control might make things easier. I'm not holding my breath, though - I don't know that it will make a measurable difference. But it is one thing to think about as I just started the pill on Sunday. We'll see what happens.
But - I'm going to try to keep blogging as I do this. Holiday seasons are the toughest, so I know I need to start now rather than wait until January when I'm at 260 or worse.
Off to a new start!
My life has been CRAZY this last month or two. So busy. So tiring. So much.
Our party was great. We had lots of people over and lots of fun. After that, though, my life switched to high gear. Every major election cycle, I volunteer for this organization that recruits and dispatches hundreds of volunteers in Georgia. This year was our biggest yet with over 600 volunteers on the ground. So I've been crazy busy this last week. I didn't sleep much at all until Tuesday night, when I slept for 16 hours. Yes 16 hours. I went to bed at midnight on Tuesday (already having taken Wednesday off) and didn't get out of bed until 4:00 pm on Wednesday. And I still slept a full 8 hours last night as well. I haven't slept that much ever, not being sick. Just shows how exhausted I was from the week before. I literally worked 80 hours in 6 days. Exhausting.
So now I'm back to normal life and back to the effort of weight loss. After much personal debate, I've decided to go back to Weight Watchers. It's the only thing that's ever worked for me, so I'm going to try again. I haven't decided which meeting I'm going to go to, but I have decided not to go to the one at my work. As convenient as it is, I'm not a huge fan of the leader, and for me, the weight watchers journey has always been a relatively private thing. I don't feel as comfortable going to a big meeting at my office, however convenient it is. Odd, yes. But we have to do what works, right?
So there's a meeting near my house on Thursday nights at 6:30. The trouble is getting there by 6:30 will not always be easy. I'm going to try to go today and check it out. I don't know how I'll feel about it, but it's worth a try. There's lots of other choices, however, if that one doesn't work out.
So don't be surprised to see a crazy high number tomorrow. I've hit 240, which is sick, but that's why I'm doing this. I didn't get on the scale this morning, frankly because I forgot, but I'm sure it's somewhere near 240. Which means tonight at an official weigh in with clothes after eating during the day, I'll probably see 245 or so. The numbers are so high now they're almost meaningless. Which is even more scary.
I've got to do something about this now, or it will only get worse.
Another thing may be a factor in my weight loss attempt this time, but I don't know in what way. I just started back on the birth control pill. For most of my adult life I've been on Depo Provera - the shot - that has been shown to cause weight gain. I've always felt like I couldn't blame my weight gain on that, though because when I really tried, and did the right things, I could still lose weight. That said, however, I'm hoping that the transition to traditional pill birth control might make things easier. I'm not holding my breath, though - I don't know that it will make a measurable difference. But it is one thing to think about as I just started the pill on Sunday. We'll see what happens.
But - I'm going to try to keep blogging as I do this. Holiday seasons are the toughest, so I know I need to start now rather than wait until January when I'm at 260 or worse.
Off to a new start!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Preparing for a PARTY
235.0 (better, but so scary that that's "better"!)
This weekend was crazy busy but nice. On Saturday I worked at the local fair with Erik. He's a Kiwani's member and the put on the fair every year so the need volunteers to help sell tickets. It was fun to see all the people come out for it. I always loved the fair as a kid, so I think I'll always like it. I did ok on the fair food, only succumbing to one hotdog and some boiled peanuts. Erik of course had the elephant ears and a deep fried milky way (I did taste each but tried to limit my "sharing").
Saturday after the fair, we spent WAY too much money on a brand new living room set. Erik had an old couch and chair from about 10 years ago and I had a coffee table and end tables I got out of law school used. So we ended up getting a sectional sofa with nice coffee and end tables. All to be delivered on Thursday! So today's mission is to find a place/person to give our old stuff too. Surprisingly few non-profits will pick up furniture and we don't have a truck to haul it off in. I posted on Freecycle, though so hopefully someone will want it.
It all has to go by Saturday because we're having a party! I'm so excited. Since the wedding Erik, Holly & I have been eager to have another get together. We have a ton of liquor and wine left over from the wedding and we got a kegerator for a wedding present (funny I know - we registered for it on a whim and Holly got a bunch of people to chip in to get it for us!). So we're getting a keg, grilling out burgers and dogs and drinking up the remaining liquor and wine (hopefully). Of course there will be poker, football and wii going on as well! AND we're going to try out our fire pit for the first time.
Have I mentioned I love living in the south - it's still 70-80 out every day these days. As long as it doesn't rain we should be able to have a good indoor/outdoor party!
So my other mission today was to find a place to fill our CO2 tank that came with the kegerator. I had NO idea where to do that. After some googling, I found a place called Airgas about 10 miles from home that will swap mine for theirs. I'll head out there probably Wednesday morning to do that. HOpefully it will work. What an odd thing to track down - CO2. Oh well - our kegerator is cool and SO worth it.
So Sunday consisted of church, then errands. We made 3 drops at goodwill of old stuff that's been collecting in the garage, which REALLY made a difference in how the garage looks. Then Erik set up the kegerator, I went shopping for party stuff, and returned a bunch of wedding stuff that was broken/unwanted. Very productive day but Exhausting!
Oh well, lots going on. I did not hit the treadmill as planned this weekend and though I wish I had, I did get a good bit of exercise running around all weekend. And we didn't really think about food much so that kept me from over-eating. Here's to the scale continuing to go down!
This weekend was crazy busy but nice. On Saturday I worked at the local fair with Erik. He's a Kiwani's member and the put on the fair every year so the need volunteers to help sell tickets. It was fun to see all the people come out for it. I always loved the fair as a kid, so I think I'll always like it. I did ok on the fair food, only succumbing to one hotdog and some boiled peanuts. Erik of course had the elephant ears and a deep fried milky way (I did taste each but tried to limit my "sharing").
Saturday after the fair, we spent WAY too much money on a brand new living room set. Erik had an old couch and chair from about 10 years ago and I had a coffee table and end tables I got out of law school used. So we ended up getting a sectional sofa with nice coffee and end tables. All to be delivered on Thursday! So today's mission is to find a place/person to give our old stuff too. Surprisingly few non-profits will pick up furniture and we don't have a truck to haul it off in. I posted on Freecycle, though so hopefully someone will want it.
It all has to go by Saturday because we're having a party! I'm so excited. Since the wedding Erik, Holly & I have been eager to have another get together. We have a ton of liquor and wine left over from the wedding and we got a kegerator for a wedding present (funny I know - we registered for it on a whim and Holly got a bunch of people to chip in to get it for us!). So we're getting a keg, grilling out burgers and dogs and drinking up the remaining liquor and wine (hopefully). Of course there will be poker, football and wii going on as well! AND we're going to try out our fire pit for the first time.
Have I mentioned I love living in the south - it's still 70-80 out every day these days. As long as it doesn't rain we should be able to have a good indoor/outdoor party!
So my other mission today was to find a place to fill our CO2 tank that came with the kegerator. I had NO idea where to do that. After some googling, I found a place called Airgas about 10 miles from home that will swap mine for theirs. I'll head out there probably Wednesday morning to do that. HOpefully it will work. What an odd thing to track down - CO2. Oh well - our kegerator is cool and SO worth it.
So Sunday consisted of church, then errands. We made 3 drops at goodwill of old stuff that's been collecting in the garage, which REALLY made a difference in how the garage looks. Then Erik set up the kegerator, I went shopping for party stuff, and returned a bunch of wedding stuff that was broken/unwanted. Very productive day but Exhausting!
Oh well, lots going on. I did not hit the treadmill as planned this weekend and though I wish I had, I did get a good bit of exercise running around all weekend. And we didn't really think about food much so that kept me from over-eating. Here's to the scale continuing to go down!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
One Day at a time
235.8 (better)
Ok, so one day down back on the wagon and it feels good. I logged everything yesterday, for the first time in, oh, say 6 months! And i went over a bit. I'm supposed to eat like 1770 max calories and I had 1880. But I burned more than double my target calories so I call it a wash. Not bad for day one. Need to still get things lower, but it's a start and the scale rewarded me with a marginally less depressing number this morning. (Still absurd, however).
So yesterday I hit our firm gym at lunch - a first. I've never done a lunch work out here, but I really liked it. It's a small but really well equiped gym with a great locker room - meaning they have lockers with keys they provide you (don't have to bring your own lock), they provide towel service, the showers have shampoo, conditioner and soap already in them, and the provide hair dryers, flat irons, curling irons, hairspray, lotion, mouthwash, etc. Very nice. I got in and out, with a shower yesterday in just over an hour including 35 mins on the treadmill. I plan to do a little bit more today. If I could get this into a habit, I'd really see some results I think. And, it keeps me from spending too much on going out to lunch with Holly every day.
So, things are back on track. The only negative in my life right now is work. I have a lot of things to do but simply cannot get motivated to do them. I spend way too much time on facebook and myspace and blogs at work. REally bad. Particularly in this market when I'm lucky to have such a great job. Need to improve on that.
Otherwise, doing well! Amazing how a day on track can really make you feel better about life.
Ok, so one day down back on the wagon and it feels good. I logged everything yesterday, for the first time in, oh, say 6 months! And i went over a bit. I'm supposed to eat like 1770 max calories and I had 1880. But I burned more than double my target calories so I call it a wash. Not bad for day one. Need to still get things lower, but it's a start and the scale rewarded me with a marginally less depressing number this morning. (Still absurd, however).
So yesterday I hit our firm gym at lunch - a first. I've never done a lunch work out here, but I really liked it. It's a small but really well equiped gym with a great locker room - meaning they have lockers with keys they provide you (don't have to bring your own lock), they provide towel service, the showers have shampoo, conditioner and soap already in them, and the provide hair dryers, flat irons, curling irons, hairspray, lotion, mouthwash, etc. Very nice. I got in and out, with a shower yesterday in just over an hour including 35 mins on the treadmill. I plan to do a little bit more today. If I could get this into a habit, I'd really see some results I think. And, it keeps me from spending too much on going out to lunch with Holly every day.
So, things are back on track. The only negative in my life right now is work. I have a lot of things to do but simply cannot get motivated to do them. I spend way too much time on facebook and myspace and blogs at work. REally bad. Particularly in this market when I'm lucky to have such a great job. Need to improve on that.
Otherwise, doing well! Amazing how a day on track can really make you feel better about life.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Frustration
237.2 Yes. that is not a typo.
I didn't want to write it. I didn't want to see it and I don't want to admit it. After about 4 days off the scales I braved it this morning and the above was my reward. Or punishment rather. Really? Really? I'm in awe and amazement. I cannot believe how absurdly easy it is to gain weight. And no, I haven't been exactly counting calories, but I have been concious of my eating. You know how some days/weeks/ months you just don't care so don't worry about it and don't think about it. I'm not even there, yet the scale keeps climbing higher and higher.
Today a funny situation has brought it all into perspective. I was updating my quicken this morning, looking at recent charges on my amex and found a shockingly wrong charge. Earlier this week, in a moment of weakness, I was craving Taco Bell. So I went there and spent $7.27. If you know taco bell at all you know $7.27 buys a ridiculous amount of food. So yes, I binged. But I paid for it. Multiple times it seems. Today when I saw that charge, I was like - yes, that's right. But the very next charge was for Taco Bell, same day for $72.27. Um. NO. I binged, but I did not eat $72 dollars worth of tacos and chalupas. Now if Amex were to put me on a scale they may beg to differ.
So anyway, I called and disputed the charge and thankfully had the receipt for the proper charge, which they said would make things easier. The woman laughed when I told her there was no way I was eating $72 dollars worth of taco bell. But in reality - this is a good crazy sign. I mean no, I didn't go that overboard, but yes I have gone overboard. And it's time to get it in check.
I've not been quite as bad in the exercise department. I hit the gym on Friday and my own treadmill on Saturday and WILL be going today. But none of the exercises have been as long as I used to be able to go, so not burning as many calories. I know - it will take time. But at least I'm going. That's the first step.
Next is to be HONEST with what I'm putting in my mouth. I said I've been conscious of what I'm eating, but we all know that when we 'guesstimate' we often get it wrong - very wrong. So, starting today I'm back on sparkpeople, logging my calories. I had hoped to be under 220 by Oct. 1. Obviously that failed. New goal - back to 225 by Sept. 1. Ambitious goal, but there it is.
The other thing I've been thinking about (in a self pitious way) is how easy it is for some people to simply maintain their weight. I cannot. If I'm not trying I'm gaining. My husband has been a perfectly healthy 165 since the day I met him. He goes up or down a few pounds depending on the time of year (holidays vs. summertime) but generally there he is. he fits in the jeans he wore 15 years ago. Absurd. Why is it so easy for him?
I know genetics has a lot to do with it along with habits and cravings. But DAMN it sucks.
Oh well, I am who I am and have to deal with my body, my habits, and my cravings. It's just so hard sometimes.
I didn't want to write it. I didn't want to see it and I don't want to admit it. After about 4 days off the scales I braved it this morning and the above was my reward. Or punishment rather. Really? Really? I'm in awe and amazement. I cannot believe how absurdly easy it is to gain weight. And no, I haven't been exactly counting calories, but I have been concious of my eating. You know how some days/weeks/ months you just don't care so don't worry about it and don't think about it. I'm not even there, yet the scale keeps climbing higher and higher.
Today a funny situation has brought it all into perspective. I was updating my quicken this morning, looking at recent charges on my amex and found a shockingly wrong charge. Earlier this week, in a moment of weakness, I was craving Taco Bell. So I went there and spent $7.27. If you know taco bell at all you know $7.27 buys a ridiculous amount of food. So yes, I binged. But I paid for it. Multiple times it seems. Today when I saw that charge, I was like - yes, that's right. But the very next charge was for Taco Bell, same day for $72.27. Um. NO. I binged, but I did not eat $72 dollars worth of tacos and chalupas. Now if Amex were to put me on a scale they may beg to differ.
So anyway, I called and disputed the charge and thankfully had the receipt for the proper charge, which they said would make things easier. The woman laughed when I told her there was no way I was eating $72 dollars worth of taco bell. But in reality - this is a good crazy sign. I mean no, I didn't go that overboard, but yes I have gone overboard. And it's time to get it in check.
I've not been quite as bad in the exercise department. I hit the gym on Friday and my own treadmill on Saturday and WILL be going today. But none of the exercises have been as long as I used to be able to go, so not burning as many calories. I know - it will take time. But at least I'm going. That's the first step.
Next is to be HONEST with what I'm putting in my mouth. I said I've been conscious of what I'm eating, but we all know that when we 'guesstimate' we often get it wrong - very wrong. So, starting today I'm back on sparkpeople, logging my calories. I had hoped to be under 220 by Oct. 1. Obviously that failed. New goal - back to 225 by Sept. 1. Ambitious goal, but there it is.
The other thing I've been thinking about (in a self pitious way) is how easy it is for some people to simply maintain their weight. I cannot. If I'm not trying I'm gaining. My husband has been a perfectly healthy 165 since the day I met him. He goes up or down a few pounds depending on the time of year (holidays vs. summertime) but generally there he is. he fits in the jeans he wore 15 years ago. Absurd. Why is it so easy for him?
I know genetics has a lot to do with it along with habits and cravings. But DAMN it sucks.
Oh well, I am who I am and have to deal with my body, my habits, and my cravings. It's just so hard sometimes.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Passive Agressive Much?
234.0 (oops.)
So, this morning a funny thing happened when I got to work. I had been working on a pleading that needed to be filed today, and on my desk my federal rules book was open in the center of my desk. When I got in on top of the open rule book was a mailing from Lane Bryant that had a coupon in it. It's one of these folded coupon fliers you get in the mail if you're on their mailing list. I thought it odd that it just arrived on my desk, they don't have my home address, certainly not my work address, so it couldn't have come to me. I flipped it over, and the name and address had been blacked out with sharpie then whited out over that. Odd.
So, somebody decided I likely shopped at lane bryant, which isn't a bad assumption, I'm actually a size 16, which is right on the border, so generally I don't, but it's not inconceivable. But the really odd thing is that this someone was embarrassed enough that the flier was sent to them to black out their name AND not put a note on it saying who it was from.
Now, with any other coupon, gift card, etc., if you're going to give it to someone who you think might use it, you'd typically want to get credit for your nice gesture. Say I don't shop at IKEA but I know my colleague does, and I get a coupon, I would give it to them overtly.
But because it's Lane Bryant - a "big" girl store, suddenly you don't want me to know? I'm more offended about that than the fact that this somebody though I was big enough to shop there - as I said, I'm close. Very passive aggressive if you ask me. Then I get to thinking, maybe it's not a generous thing where the giver is just embarrassed. Maybe it's a veiled insult. Maybe this somebody is saying "hey we know your fat, and by the way you need better clothes". Maybe? Seeing how they don't want to reveal their name.
So curiosity got the best of me. I scrapped off the white out with my fingernail and then wet the paper a bit to smudge the sharpie black out to reveal the name....
My secretary.
Odd. I don't know how to take this. I don't have the best relationship with my secretary. We don't argue but I think she's not so good at her job and have actually considered asking to be reassigned. I've never directly called her out, but my frustration is clear when she messes something up. So this could go either way. Either she got it, and was trying to be nice but was embarrassed that she got it, or she's being VERY passive aggressively insulting.
My friend who is also a secretary here says I should email her a note that just says "Hey - thanks for the coupon, but I don't shop there. Let me know if there's someone else you know that might be able to use it." Sort of passive aggressive back. My thought is to just let it go.
Could use some input on this one. I actually think it's pretty hilarious, myself.
So, this morning a funny thing happened when I got to work. I had been working on a pleading that needed to be filed today, and on my desk my federal rules book was open in the center of my desk. When I got in on top of the open rule book was a mailing from Lane Bryant that had a coupon in it. It's one of these folded coupon fliers you get in the mail if you're on their mailing list. I thought it odd that it just arrived on my desk, they don't have my home address, certainly not my work address, so it couldn't have come to me. I flipped it over, and the name and address had been blacked out with sharpie then whited out over that. Odd.
So, somebody decided I likely shopped at lane bryant, which isn't a bad assumption, I'm actually a size 16, which is right on the border, so generally I don't, but it's not inconceivable. But the really odd thing is that this someone was embarrassed enough that the flier was sent to them to black out their name AND not put a note on it saying who it was from.
Now, with any other coupon, gift card, etc., if you're going to give it to someone who you think might use it, you'd typically want to get credit for your nice gesture. Say I don't shop at IKEA but I know my colleague does, and I get a coupon, I would give it to them overtly.
But because it's Lane Bryant - a "big" girl store, suddenly you don't want me to know? I'm more offended about that than the fact that this somebody though I was big enough to shop there - as I said, I'm close. Very passive aggressive if you ask me. Then I get to thinking, maybe it's not a generous thing where the giver is just embarrassed. Maybe it's a veiled insult. Maybe this somebody is saying "hey we know your fat, and by the way you need better clothes". Maybe? Seeing how they don't want to reveal their name.
So curiosity got the best of me. I scrapped off the white out with my fingernail and then wet the paper a bit to smudge the sharpie black out to reveal the name....
My secretary.
Odd. I don't know how to take this. I don't have the best relationship with my secretary. We don't argue but I think she's not so good at her job and have actually considered asking to be reassigned. I've never directly called her out, but my frustration is clear when she messes something up. So this could go either way. Either she got it, and was trying to be nice but was embarrassed that she got it, or she's being VERY passive aggressively insulting.
My friend who is also a secretary here says I should email her a note that just says "Hey - thanks for the coupon, but I don't shop there. Let me know if there's someone else you know that might be able to use it." Sort of passive aggressive back. My thought is to just let it go.
Could use some input on this one. I actually think it's pretty hilarious, myself.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Ear Infection, and Vegas!
233.2
Yesterday morning sucked. Monday night as I was going to bed, my right ear was feeling clogged a bit. I have this problem occasionally with wax build up (gross I know) mostly because I sleep with ear plugs every night. So anyway, I decided to do the "ear wax removal" treatment. It's basically these drops you put in your ear that break up the wax. You keep your head tilted for a couple minutes then let it drain out. It worked fine, and then I went to bed feeling better.
Until 6:00 am.
When I woke up with that ear KILLING me. Serious sharp pains. Really odd. I tried to go back to bed and couldn't. Finally I got up and headed to my doctor sure that I had an ear infection. I got a prescription for antibiotics then went back to bed. I took an old Tylenol w/codine I had from my Lasik surgery and slept it off. When I woke up a few hours later, my ear didn't hurt anymore, but I'd already called in sick, so decided to work the rest of the day from home. It was nice, I got a good bit done, and also caught up on my TiVo'd shows.
So I didn't get a workout in yesterday despite not having a good excuse to avoid it. But today I WILL. I have my gym bag, including socks! I'm heading there right after work. Which is pretty crucial since I fly out to Vegas tomorrow and won't have another opportunity to hit the gym.
Yes, I could use the gym at the hotel, but in Vegas they actually charge you to use their gym, and lets be honest, am I going to work out in Vegas? Nope. The best I can hope for is to minimize the over-indulgence food/alcohol wise. So that will be my goal. Try to avoid the buffets, if I do go to a buffet (hey - that's usually what they're willing to comp you on) I'll load up on lots of veggies, and I'll limit my alcohol. That's the plan.
The exciting thing is that Erik is already out there and played a poker tournament last night that he won, to the tune of $1400 profit. Very nice. So we have some gambling money now and might, shocker of shockers, come home up, or at least not down. That would be a first. :-)
So my moderation thing is going ok. No, I've not seen a loss on the scale yet, but I've stopped the gaining. I made good choices yesterday and I'm going to the gym today. Ideally when I get back from Vegas I'll be right where I am now. That would be a success, for sure.
I watched the Biggest Loser last night (don't worry no spoilers) and I love that show. I love how it makes me feel motivated. It makes me commiserate with others who are dealing with weight loss and how hard it is. And it makes me realize how hard I'm NOT working - I mean Bob and Jillian KILL those people during their work outs. Makes me want to get out there any try - which is what I will do this evening!
Yesterday morning sucked. Monday night as I was going to bed, my right ear was feeling clogged a bit. I have this problem occasionally with wax build up (gross I know) mostly because I sleep with ear plugs every night. So anyway, I decided to do the "ear wax removal" treatment. It's basically these drops you put in your ear that break up the wax. You keep your head tilted for a couple minutes then let it drain out. It worked fine, and then I went to bed feeling better.
Until 6:00 am.
When I woke up with that ear KILLING me. Serious sharp pains. Really odd. I tried to go back to bed and couldn't. Finally I got up and headed to my doctor sure that I had an ear infection. I got a prescription for antibiotics then went back to bed. I took an old Tylenol w/codine I had from my Lasik surgery and slept it off. When I woke up a few hours later, my ear didn't hurt anymore, but I'd already called in sick, so decided to work the rest of the day from home. It was nice, I got a good bit done, and also caught up on my TiVo'd shows.
So I didn't get a workout in yesterday despite not having a good excuse to avoid it. But today I WILL. I have my gym bag, including socks! I'm heading there right after work. Which is pretty crucial since I fly out to Vegas tomorrow and won't have another opportunity to hit the gym.
Yes, I could use the gym at the hotel, but in Vegas they actually charge you to use their gym, and lets be honest, am I going to work out in Vegas? Nope. The best I can hope for is to minimize the over-indulgence food/alcohol wise. So that will be my goal. Try to avoid the buffets, if I do go to a buffet (hey - that's usually what they're willing to comp you on) I'll load up on lots of veggies, and I'll limit my alcohol. That's the plan.
The exciting thing is that Erik is already out there and played a poker tournament last night that he won, to the tune of $1400 profit. Very nice. So we have some gambling money now and might, shocker of shockers, come home up, or at least not down. That would be a first. :-)
So my moderation thing is going ok. No, I've not seen a loss on the scale yet, but I've stopped the gaining. I made good choices yesterday and I'm going to the gym today. Ideally when I get back from Vegas I'll be right where I am now. That would be a success, for sure.
I watched the Biggest Loser last night (don't worry no spoilers) and I love that show. I love how it makes me feel motivated. It makes me commiserate with others who are dealing with weight loss and how hard it is. And it makes me realize how hard I'm NOT working - I mean Bob and Jillian KILL those people during their work outs. Makes me want to get out there any try - which is what I will do this evening!
Monday, September 22, 2008
No Socks!
233.2 (weekend weight - as usual)
I actually had really nice weekend. Friday night we had the boys sleepover. It was fine, but I know I don't want to have twins! Daniels two friends were 5 year old boy twins, and although very sweet considering, they were a handful! Erik and I just shook our head so many times this weekend. Its such a change for us to have more than one in the house. When it's just Daniel, he's usually hanging out with us or playing x-box with his dad or watching a cartoon on TV. When it's the 3 of them it's LOUD crazy screaming children. I'm sure this is normal in houses with more than one child, but we've been spoiled. They are good kids though, so although it was different, it wasn't all that bad.
It also helped that I dipped out Friday night and played poker with friends, leaving Erik to put the 3 of them to bed.
Saturday we went to a parade just down the street from our house for our local "founder's day" celebration. It was nice and the kids got lots of candy. Saturday afternoon and evening was dedicated to football. Boy did it suck! FSU played HORRIBLY against Wake Forest. I was so disappointed. This was the first televised game they've had and it was miserable. Our two new quarterbacks threw a combined 5 interceptions! FIVE. So bad. So that sucked.
Sunday was church, nap, TV, etc. It was Erik's birthday but since he had to leave town today he was running around a lot and we only celebrated a bit at the end of the night.
Today Erik leaves for Vegas for a week long seminar. I fly out on Thursday to meet him and come home on Monday. I'm SO looking forward to this. I love Vegas and we go out usually once a year, usually in June. We haven't made it out this year due to the wedding, but I'm glad we still get to go. We're staying at Bally's which is right across the street from Bellagio - my favorite hotel just because of the fountains out front. I'm very excited.
So today I had GREAT plans to hit the gym after work. I packed my bag and everything. Then I got here and was getting the bag out of the car and realized I forgot my socks. GRRRR. Now I can do weight training maybe without socks, but I definitely should not hit the treadmill without socks. That's the fastest way to a blister that would keep me off it for a week or more. So I'm mad at myself because I know I'm not motivated enough to work out at home, so I need this "at work" trip to keep me going.
Oh well, tomorrow is another day. I'll hit it then for sure.
Oh and by the way? Thank you notes suck. I've been dreading and procrastinating for weeks now, and it's getting bad. I need to get them out this week or it just looks really bad. I've only got about 35 or 40 to do - way less than the invitations I had to do - but I'm just dragging my feet for some reason. I will knock out at least half of them today. I swear!
I actually had really nice weekend. Friday night we had the boys sleepover. It was fine, but I know I don't want to have twins! Daniels two friends were 5 year old boy twins, and although very sweet considering, they were a handful! Erik and I just shook our head so many times this weekend. Its such a change for us to have more than one in the house. When it's just Daniel, he's usually hanging out with us or playing x-box with his dad or watching a cartoon on TV. When it's the 3 of them it's LOUD crazy screaming children. I'm sure this is normal in houses with more than one child, but we've been spoiled. They are good kids though, so although it was different, it wasn't all that bad.
It also helped that I dipped out Friday night and played poker with friends, leaving Erik to put the 3 of them to bed.
Saturday we went to a parade just down the street from our house for our local "founder's day" celebration. It was nice and the kids got lots of candy. Saturday afternoon and evening was dedicated to football. Boy did it suck! FSU played HORRIBLY against Wake Forest. I was so disappointed. This was the first televised game they've had and it was miserable. Our two new quarterbacks threw a combined 5 interceptions! FIVE. So bad. So that sucked.
Sunday was church, nap, TV, etc. It was Erik's birthday but since he had to leave town today he was running around a lot and we only celebrated a bit at the end of the night.
Today Erik leaves for Vegas for a week long seminar. I fly out on Thursday to meet him and come home on Monday. I'm SO looking forward to this. I love Vegas and we go out usually once a year, usually in June. We haven't made it out this year due to the wedding, but I'm glad we still get to go. We're staying at Bally's which is right across the street from Bellagio - my favorite hotel just because of the fountains out front. I'm very excited.
So today I had GREAT plans to hit the gym after work. I packed my bag and everything. Then I got here and was getting the bag out of the car and realized I forgot my socks. GRRRR. Now I can do weight training maybe without socks, but I definitely should not hit the treadmill without socks. That's the fastest way to a blister that would keep me off it for a week or more. So I'm mad at myself because I know I'm not motivated enough to work out at home, so I need this "at work" trip to keep me going.
Oh well, tomorrow is another day. I'll hit it then for sure.
Oh and by the way? Thank you notes suck. I've been dreading and procrastinating for weeks now, and it's getting bad. I need to get them out this week or it just looks really bad. I've only got about 35 or 40 to do - way less than the invitations I had to do - but I'm just dragging my feet for some reason. I will knock out at least half of them today. I swear!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Life as a "step-mom"
So, getting married 2 weeks ago made me more than a wife. I'm also now a Step Mom to Erik's 5 year old son. He was married before and had a child with her. Now she lives in the next town over, and they share custody. He gets Daniel every other weekend and every Wednesday. It's been this way since I met him so its nothing new. But the "title" is new. I was always just "Cindy". Now I'm Stepmom Cindy. Odd.
About 2 months ago I had a conversation with Daniel about it and said something to the effect of, you know when we get married, I'm going to be your "stepmom" but you can still call me Cindy. He said, no I'll call you "mom". I think it was just a spontaneous thing he said, but wasn't what I was going for. His mom is very cool in many respects and has never made me feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in his life. That said, he is her world, and I do NOT feel like she would welcome him calling me mom. I don't need that and don't have any desire to cause strife in his or her life. So we'll see - so far, he hasn't called me anything but Cindy but we'll see.
He's too cute, by the way, here's a couple pictures from our wedding:
In the first one he has one of the chair sashes on his head, in the second one he had to take off his shirt because someone spilled beer on it, so he put the vest back on anyway. So funny.
Anyway, tonight we are having our first "sleepover". Erik is picking up Daniel and two of his friends to spend the night. I think it's going to be fun, but it's a first for us, so I think its sweet. Tomorrow our town is having a parade for "founders day" so we're going to take the boys there. I'm sure by the time that's over, I'll be done being a step mom and be glad to ship the extra two 5 year olds off. :-)
It's weird being a mom even if it's only a "step" mom.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
First Run a Success
232.4 (up, but am sore so I'll blame it on that).
I did it. I got back to the gym. I had to do all the stuff you do at a new gym - figure out where the lockers where, how the towel service worked, where everything is located. But, I did all that and then I got on the treadmill. And Ran. I ended up doing week 4 of the C25K program. Essentially I did a 5 minute warm-up walk, ran 1/4 mile, walked 1/8 mile, ran 1/2 mile, walked 1/4 mile, ran 1/4 mile, walked 1/8 mile, ran 1/2 mile, walked 1/2 mile. Ultimately I ended a little over 2.5 miles, in about 33:00 minutes. Not bad. I burned about 400 calories, and am a little sore today but all that was to be expected.
I didn't hit the weights like I'd hoped. I'm always bad about motivation for weight training. But I didn't beat myself up about it because I did the most important thing - started again. So today I'm going back. I packed my gym bag, brought it to my office, and it's sitting in the corner of the room looking at me.
Last night I started thinking about things - I felt good that I'd ran again, but I was beating myself up for not eating right or drinking enough water that day. Then I realized that I can take this one step at a time. Always in my life when I decide to do something I do it 200%. I mean I go overboard and try to do it al at once. And I'm usually sucessful - for a time at least - until I burn out. This time I want to be ok with taking it slow.
I decided last night that today I'd work on eating better and drinking more water, with a goal of doing a little better each day. And sticking to the gym. I am going a little crazy in that department with plans to go every work day. I don't have to go for long, but I want to make myself go every night before I go home. I rarely have evening commitments that require me to be home at a particular time, so it shouldn't be a problem most of the time. Also, part of the reason I haven't been good about exercising on my own treadmill is that by the time I get home, I'm starving, and want to eat dinner. That's usually about 8:00 at night and I by the time I'm "digested" enough to feel comfortable exercising, it's bed time.
So this is a good solution. I work out right after work then I can go home and have dinner without guilt. And go to bed without guilt. I'll use my treadmill on the weekends, so it's not all a waste. That's the plan. Day 1 in the books. I'm going to shoot for getting under 230 by the end of the month. That should be really doable, but I'm going to set small goals this time around, and meet every one of them.
I did it. I got back to the gym. I had to do all the stuff you do at a new gym - figure out where the lockers where, how the towel service worked, where everything is located. But, I did all that and then I got on the treadmill. And Ran. I ended up doing week 4 of the C25K program. Essentially I did a 5 minute warm-up walk, ran 1/4 mile, walked 1/8 mile, ran 1/2 mile, walked 1/4 mile, ran 1/4 mile, walked 1/8 mile, ran 1/2 mile, walked 1/2 mile. Ultimately I ended a little over 2.5 miles, in about 33:00 minutes. Not bad. I burned about 400 calories, and am a little sore today but all that was to be expected.
I didn't hit the weights like I'd hoped. I'm always bad about motivation for weight training. But I didn't beat myself up about it because I did the most important thing - started again. So today I'm going back. I packed my gym bag, brought it to my office, and it's sitting in the corner of the room looking at me.
Last night I started thinking about things - I felt good that I'd ran again, but I was beating myself up for not eating right or drinking enough water that day. Then I realized that I can take this one step at a time. Always in my life when I decide to do something I do it 200%. I mean I go overboard and try to do it al at once. And I'm usually sucessful - for a time at least - until I burn out. This time I want to be ok with taking it slow.
I decided last night that today I'd work on eating better and drinking more water, with a goal of doing a little better each day. And sticking to the gym. I am going a little crazy in that department with plans to go every work day. I don't have to go for long, but I want to make myself go every night before I go home. I rarely have evening commitments that require me to be home at a particular time, so it shouldn't be a problem most of the time. Also, part of the reason I haven't been good about exercising on my own treadmill is that by the time I get home, I'm starving, and want to eat dinner. That's usually about 8:00 at night and I by the time I'm "digested" enough to feel comfortable exercising, it's bed time.
So this is a good solution. I work out right after work then I can go home and have dinner without guilt. And go to bed without guilt. I'll use my treadmill on the weekends, so it's not all a waste. That's the plan. Day 1 in the books. I'm going to shoot for getting under 230 by the end of the month. That should be really doable, but I'm going to set small goals this time around, and meet every one of them.
The Gym
231.6
Well, I did it. I re-signed up for the gym. Gym membership is a funny thing for me. I've always had one up until March of this year. I started being really good about exercise in law school when I first started weight watchers, and have always had a gym membership since. But when Erik and I bought a house and moved a town away from where my current membership was, I just let it lapse. I had gotten a treadmill from my dad and had built up my other exercise equipment for the house (weight bench, yoga stuff, jump rope, weights, balls etc.) such that I felt it was a waste of money to have a gym membership. But now I realize that all the equipment in the world is useless if you don't use it. Duh right?
Somehow paying for a membership is motivation in itself. And I'm fortunate that my firm has a gym in one of our two buildings that we can be a member of for only $42/month with no sign up fee. Not bad at all, so I did it. Yesterday I went in and signed up. And today I brought my gym bag and will be heading out there in a few minutes. I have to do this. I can't let everything go now just because I'm married. That is no excuse. No, I don't have to go "find a man" anymore, but I do have to like myself. And I always like myself better when I'm exercising, feeling healthy, and losing, rather than gaining, weight. So, back at it.
I've printed out the couch to 5K program and I'm going to see how I do tonight to gauge what week to start on. Before the wedding I was comfortably running 2-3 miles, but I know that stamina is gone and I'll have to build it up again. That's ok though. I'm going to set mini-goals, but there's no deadline here. This is my LIFE now. I need to be a healthy person. For myself, for my husband, and for the kids I plan to have not too long from now. Besides, trying to get pregnant after 30 will have it's own challenges, I don't need to add "excessively obese" to the list. I don't believe I'll ever be "skinny" again, but I can keep things status quo - or at least status quo from before the wedding (meaning drop ~10 lbs). I can do that, and I will do that. Starting today!
Boy I feel like a broken record ,and I'm sure it's no fun to read the same entry of 'back at it today, I swear' that I seem to write every month. But, again, this blog is for me. It's really more of a journal. I need to get down how I feel, what I'm thinking, before I have any hope to follow through. I'd love to have a few readers, and a couple comments now and then, but really I need this for me. So unfortunately that appears to mean a lot of repeat material. Sorry bout that.
So tonight at the gym - the plan is to do at least 20, hopefully 30 or more minutes on the treadmill then do some basic weight training. Get things started right, right?
Well, I did it. I re-signed up for the gym. Gym membership is a funny thing for me. I've always had one up until March of this year. I started being really good about exercise in law school when I first started weight watchers, and have always had a gym membership since. But when Erik and I bought a house and moved a town away from where my current membership was, I just let it lapse. I had gotten a treadmill from my dad and had built up my other exercise equipment for the house (weight bench, yoga stuff, jump rope, weights, balls etc.) such that I felt it was a waste of money to have a gym membership. But now I realize that all the equipment in the world is useless if you don't use it. Duh right?
Somehow paying for a membership is motivation in itself. And I'm fortunate that my firm has a gym in one of our two buildings that we can be a member of for only $42/month with no sign up fee. Not bad at all, so I did it. Yesterday I went in and signed up. And today I brought my gym bag and will be heading out there in a few minutes. I have to do this. I can't let everything go now just because I'm married. That is no excuse. No, I don't have to go "find a man" anymore, but I do have to like myself. And I always like myself better when I'm exercising, feeling healthy, and losing, rather than gaining, weight. So, back at it.
I've printed out the couch to 5K program and I'm going to see how I do tonight to gauge what week to start on. Before the wedding I was comfortably running 2-3 miles, but I know that stamina is gone and I'll have to build it up again. That's ok though. I'm going to set mini-goals, but there's no deadline here. This is my LIFE now. I need to be a healthy person. For myself, for my husband, and for the kids I plan to have not too long from now. Besides, trying to get pregnant after 30 will have it's own challenges, I don't need to add "excessively obese" to the list. I don't believe I'll ever be "skinny" again, but I can keep things status quo - or at least status quo from before the wedding (meaning drop ~10 lbs). I can do that, and I will do that. Starting today!
Boy I feel like a broken record ,and I'm sure it's no fun to read the same entry of 'back at it today, I swear' that I seem to write every month. But, again, this blog is for me. It's really more of a journal. I need to get down how I feel, what I'm thinking, before I have any hope to follow through. I'd love to have a few readers, and a couple comments now and then, but really I need this for me. So unfortunately that appears to mean a lot of repeat material. Sorry bout that.
So tonight at the gym - the plan is to do at least 20, hopefully 30 or more minutes on the treadmill then do some basic weight training. Get things started right, right?
Monday, September 15, 2008
2 Weeks Married
230.0 (believe me, that's actually good).
Well today I'm 2 weeks married. And I still like it. :-) That's good, right? We're settling back into our life, and nothing seems to different except I'm dealing with a lot of name change BS right now. Very frustrating. I'm hating it and hating it more that Erik doesn't have to deal with it. Boo. Oh well, it should all be a one time thing, at least. When I got my new driver's license, they asked me if I wanted to renew for 5 or 10 years (a cool option Georgia has) and I said, 10 for sure - I'm not planning on moving or changing my name again! Now I'll probably move sometime in the future, but not for a very long time. Ideally, not until I'm too old to climb the stairs to our master bedroom. We'll see though. I really do love our house, though.
As for my weigh in this morning. I've not posted weight in a long time here, mostly because I was disappointed I wasn't able to lose a lot before the wedding, and it just sucks being up, right? But then, I remember, that's the value of this semi-annonomous forum. Post the embarrasing stuff, maybe it'll keep you accountable. So there it is, the scary number of 230.0. But the good news is it was 231.6 the day after I got home from the honeymoon. So it's going in the right direction. I'd love to get down to about 220 - about where I was a month or so before the wedding. That is still 50lbs too heavy, but I'll feel more in control. then I can work from there.
So, I'm back to work, back to bloggin, and hopefully back to trying to minimize my food intake and maximize my calorie burn. Here we go!
Well today I'm 2 weeks married. And I still like it. :-) That's good, right? We're settling back into our life, and nothing seems to different except I'm dealing with a lot of name change BS right now. Very frustrating. I'm hating it and hating it more that Erik doesn't have to deal with it. Boo. Oh well, it should all be a one time thing, at least. When I got my new driver's license, they asked me if I wanted to renew for 5 or 10 years (a cool option Georgia has) and I said, 10 for sure - I'm not planning on moving or changing my name again! Now I'll probably move sometime in the future, but not for a very long time. Ideally, not until I'm too old to climb the stairs to our master bedroom. We'll see though. I really do love our house, though.
As for my weigh in this morning. I've not posted weight in a long time here, mostly because I was disappointed I wasn't able to lose a lot before the wedding, and it just sucks being up, right? But then, I remember, that's the value of this semi-annonomous forum. Post the embarrasing stuff, maybe it'll keep you accountable. So there it is, the scary number of 230.0. But the good news is it was 231.6 the day after I got home from the honeymoon. So it's going in the right direction. I'd love to get down to about 220 - about where I was a month or so before the wedding. That is still 50lbs too heavy, but I'll feel more in control. then I can work from there.
So, I'm back to work, back to bloggin, and hopefully back to trying to minimize my food intake and maximize my calorie burn. Here we go!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Married!
Ok, so it's been forever and a day since I posted. I know. But you know what. Getting married is a LOT OF WORK. I mean wow. But I was SOOOOO great. I don't have the words to describe how wonderful it was, how perfect everything went, and how great everyone was to us. So here I am. A Mrs. :-)
And now, I have to go back to life. Back to fighting the battle we all fight our entire life. To be healthy. It's tougher for some than for others. I didn't reach all my goals I set for my wedding day. But I felt beautiful. And everyone said I was beautiful. And even if they only said it because they were supposed to, it still felt really really good.
We had a great honeymoon in the carribean. We got back on Monday. Today is my first day back at work. Yesterday I spent the majority of the day in the Social Security office and the Driver's License office, but it was ok, because I'm just so happy to be married.
I have a lot of thank you cards to write, but besides that, and putting away a few remaining gifts, wedding stuff is over. Now we're back to life. No "dress" to fit into, no "deadline" just life. A life of trying to be fit. So where do we find the motivation?
I dont' know, but I'm actually pretty upbeat about it. i had a very indulgent honeymoon and of course the scale is up now that I'm back. But I'm not sweating it, I'm not complacent about it, but I'm ok with it. Because I'm motivated to get back into exercising. I'm actually planning to hit the treadmill tonight. It's been inactive for a while now, so I think it needs a work out. I know I do.
So, I'm back. Hopefully regularly and for good. I'm ready to take on this new chapter as Mrs.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Busy - Focusing is hard
FRIDAY
Well, as is the case of late, I've been very busy with work, boot camp, and wedding planning. And the weight loss progress has stopped. I'm a bit frustrated as I'm running out of time. We're 37 days away. I've been good on the boot camp front, but not good on the food front. I'm kinda peeved at myself too. But my problem is when I'm stressed I eat. And life is stressful right now. I had a very frustrating day yesterday with a paralegal at the office that simply isn't doing her job. So when I went out with Erik I felt entitled to have a beer or 4. It was a nice release, but an unnecessary weekday drinking binge.
Oh well - the wedding is coming - ready or not. And I think I'm ready other than weight-wise. I've got lots of appointments coming up to finalize things, the scariest of which is the dress fitting. I'm trying to put it off as long as possible, but it's coming too - ready or not.
I don't really have much else to say - this post is really a same ol same ol type of post. Gee - I'm not losing weight - gee I'm eating too much - gee maybe that's why I'm not losing weight. No real epiphanies there.
Well, as is the case of late, I've been very busy with work, boot camp, and wedding planning. And the weight loss progress has stopped. I'm a bit frustrated as I'm running out of time. We're 37 days away. I've been good on the boot camp front, but not good on the food front. I'm kinda peeved at myself too. But my problem is when I'm stressed I eat. And life is stressful right now. I had a very frustrating day yesterday with a paralegal at the office that simply isn't doing her job. So when I went out with Erik I felt entitled to have a beer or 4. It was a nice release, but an unnecessary weekday drinking binge.
Oh well - the wedding is coming - ready or not. And I think I'm ready other than weight-wise. I've got lots of appointments coming up to finalize things, the scariest of which is the dress fitting. I'm trying to put it off as long as possible, but it's coming too - ready or not.
I don't really have much else to say - this post is really a same ol same ol type of post. Gee - I'm not losing weight - gee I'm eating too much - gee maybe that's why I'm not losing weight. No real epiphanies there.
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