Life, Stressful Life

220.8 (very good considering)

TUESDAY

Oh my how life has gotten crazy lately. I was out of town for 4 days last week - Thursday through Sunday - in sunny California. It was so wonderful. Erik won a trip at work for doing a good job last year, and they flew us both out there. So nice. We ate like pigs, but did manage to hit the gym twice together, so that's good.

We got back late Sunday and yesterday I tried to catch up on work and life. The scale was really scary yesterday morning - 224.6 - showing lots of bloating from the trip it seems. Today's number, therefore, was very nice to see even if it is a bit up from last week. I've got a couple more days till weigh in to get it down.

I've got major deadlines this month, and very few of them relate to work, which is stressful in itself as I need to get some hours in this month. On my plate this month:

1) Wedding invitations: they WILL be in the mail on Thursday. I've got 60 addressed, sealed and ready to go, about 60 left, but of course I'm waiting on several addresses from Erik. If I don't get them by Thursday they're just going to have to go out late.

2) Work project: I have a big brief due soon and promised a draft to the partners by Thursday. I think this is do-able, but need to get cracking. I promised it out on Thursday because I'm out Friday and Saturday for a work-related retreat.

3) House Buying: We are scheduled to close on our new house next Tuesday (March 18), and now of course, mortgage rates are climbing, even though they should be FALLING. Add to the stress

4) Packing: We have 10-12 friends scheduled to help us move next Saturday (22nd) so I have to have the entire house packed by then (did I mention I'm out of town this Friday & Saturday?) We've done nothing so far. :-(

5) Lasik: I'm scheduled to have Lasik on my eyes on March 28th and am supposed to be out of commission for at least 4 days after that - doesn't help the stress at work...

6) Dress Buying: I WILL buy a dress this month. Hopefully tomorrow. I tried one on today and LOVE it. Holly is scheduled to go to lunch with me tomorrow to give a second opinion "ok" and I think I'm going to order it. I have seriously put about 60 HOURS into this dress shopping thing. And of course the one I'm buying is obscenely expensive. But it WILL be done. tomorrow I hope.

7) Weight loss?!? Oh yeah - the whole point of this blog? Somehow I'm supposed to be being meticulous about my eating these days. So difficult. But it too must be done.

So I'm a bit stressed right now. Add to that I had a scary occurrence at work today. I've been on this big case since the day I started last year. It's supposed to go to trial this summer and there are like 4 partners and 6 associates on the case. I've been helping out diligently and probably spending 60-70% of my time on this one case billables-wise. Anyway, I printed something to a shared computer today and happened to see a co-worker's email that she printed about a meeting on the case next week. A meeting I was not invited to - but every other associate that's been working on the case has been. This is not the first meeting I've been left out on. So I got all paranoid and thought maybe I'm doing something wrong? Why don't they want me working on this anymore? What the hell?

So, very uncharacteristically, I decided to ask some questions and get to the bottom of it. I went into the office of the partner who does the most on the case and asked why I appear to have been taken off the case -- did I do something wrong? She promptly assured me that no, I hadn't done anything wrong, that she thought someone had told me, but that the client was complaining about my billable rate. Here's the thing. I've been practicing law for 6 years. But the firm brought me in as a "Fourth Year" for partnership purposes. This was totally fine with me because I need time to learn civil law, and make my place here. That said, I think they're still billing me out as a 6th year due to my experience. This is the second time I've been booted from a case because I'm too expensive. Which is ridiculous because THEY chose what to bill me at, and obviously want me to bill lots of hours, but somehow are putting me on cases where I can't do that. Frustrating. Anyway, on this case we have a VERY high maintenance client who is very cost conscious notwithstanding the huge nature of the case. She wants me off, supposedly not because of my work (I've only even met her briefly once), but because of my rate. The firm wants me on, and it's not resolved yet. Probably I'll get kicked off. If that happens, however, I NEED to find more work.

Here's my catch 22, however. I'm going to miss a number of days this month due to 1-7 above. So it's tough to go to another partner, looking for more work, and say I want some, but oh-by-the-way, I'm not going to be around much this month. Very frustrating.

At least she repeatedly assured me that it had nothing to do with my work product. That's good news at least, and she apologized that no one had talked to me sooner, but still. Totally stressed me out.

So that's my life right now. Busy busy busy. I'm super stressed and find myself "down" a lot, which is ridiculous because so much is going "RIGHT" in my life (getting married, buying a house, great job...) I just have to keep reminding myself this is good stress...